Why does my family do this to me?

Question

My family constantly make me feel horrible about myself. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but it's hard when they're your own fmaily and should be supportive. I'm always told to do more exercise and stop eating so much but I know I'm not overweight, I exercise everyday and I actually have the healthiest diet out of everyone in my family. My dad straight out tells me I'm fat and that really hurts. I told my mum that i was sick of people and their snide remarks that make me feel like c**p but she told me I was being stupid and sensitive. Whenever i go to a get together or party with my family they ignore me or say something to humiliate me and I'm quite shy already so this really doesn't help.

I know this sounds crazy and petty, but this truly is what happens and I'm absolutely sick of it. Why do they do this? How can I get them to stop?

Answer 1

I think your parents may have some problems in their past that they haven't fully recovered from yet. Maybe they were overweight when they were younger and were constantly picked on, but this gives no right to say such things to you. You aren't being stupid or sensitive, I would cry if my parents said anything like that. I would talk to a counselor about this, they will know what to do and help you. It's okay for your parents to nag you about exercise and healthy eating but if they are straight out calling you fat, it's not okay. You don't call your child names, so if they are doing that, talk to a counselor so you can get help, and then they'll take these matters in their own hands.

Answer 2

People generally look for itty bitty details they can nit pick at because as a whole you are better than they are.  They find insignificant things they can have an opinion about to bring you down.  They themselves are probably insecure about a lot of things.  I can't imagine parents wanting kids that could be so heartless, so i'm going to assume they just aren't taking you seriously.  

If they are actually that heartless, just try to remember, negative people are just jealous.  Also keep in mind though that negative people are probably people in need of the most help.  A child lashes out to his class mates at school when he gets abused at home.  So your parents are prob in some sort of predicament they haven't disclosed to you just yet and are trying ot find a way to feel better.

Of course fi your family isn't really that heartless, then it could just be a sick sense of humor and they honestly dont know you're hurting for real, so only thing to do is sit down and really try tot alk.

Answer 3

actually .. sometimes parents who no that u hav somethin ( A Body) way bettr then they are like haters haters dont like to look at u achive ur goals . And u probably are the skiniest person in ur family. Its hard bein the only child! so dont feel bad! Hope i helped=)

Answer 4

  Talk to them about it. Like, seriously have a deep talk and tell them how you feel. Don't try and stop your sadness and humiliaiton. If they're the good family they should be, they'll quit. I know they can't be that insensitive. Good luck.

Answer 5

Oh honey, you can't control your families behaviour.

You are quite right about most of the things you put in your question.

Your father should be supportive of his daughter, & the very worst thing that he can possibly do is tell you that he thinks you are fat.

I totally agree with you that you should be able to expect, & receive nothing but loving support, & nurturing behaviour from all of your family, NOT criticism, & snide remarks.

But the thing I agree with you the most on is what you said about how hard it is to not pay any attention to their negative comments, & judgements of you. That sort of thing is very difficult to overcome, but how you react to them is the only thing that you have any control over.

The thing I disagree with you the most on is your last statement on how this sounds crazy, & petty. If you can't count on your own family to give you positive support & feedback then who can you count on?

This is the sort of thing that leaves young women vulnerable to predators & abusers, so be vigilant of that & don't go falling for the 1st guy who offers you a little sweet talk.

I am sure your family loves you, & cares for you very much. They may be trying to look out for you & are attempting to help you, but with all of their criticism they are going about it in the worst possible way.

Maybe it would help if you reminded them that you need to hear what you are doing right more than what they think you are doing wrong if they actually want to be a positive influence in your life.

Answer 6

If talking to them does not work, you really need to go to your school nurse/counselor about this.  You need the help of a professional to stop this. The school counselor and nurse can drag them in for a serious talk and it will probably be documented in the school records for future reference.  It is verbal/emotional abuse and it is harmful.

In the future, you need to just do the basics to stay off your family's radar... allow them to ignore you and you ignore them if they have nothing constructive to contribute. Do your best to get through school and get some higher education for a career, and put your parents' house in your rear-view mirror.

Answer 7

Any parent who calls their children names need classes in parenting skills.  You know you exercise and watch your diet and that is all you need to know.  Bottom line is NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE c**p UNLESS YOU LET THEM.  You did not say how old you are, but if you over 18 I would consider moving out and find a place of your own.