Why does my husband's friend act like this?

Question

It seems like my hubby's friend is constantly throwing in little innuendos about my hubby's past relationships. But I find myself asking, "Why?"

For example, one time we went to go eat Korean BBQ and we were talking about all the different foods and then his friend says to my hubby so that I can hear: "you should be an expert in all of this".

His friend then looks at me for a response.

I say yeah I know he had a Korean ex girlfriend so what?

How is he expecting me to react? Yeah he has a past, everyone does.

His wife immediatley scolds him and says "Look at David starting trouble."

I brush it off like nothing.

Another example, one time we went over their house and his friend pulls out a photo album and they start talking about college, girls etc etc.

In a very obvious way he says to me "do you want to see", I say sure since I had nothing else to do. So he starts flipping the album to random spots so that he can show me JUST the pictures of my hubby's exes. He explains the pictures to me saying yeah they were great together, she's so smart. bla bla bla.

And I'm like oh nice (just trying to be polite)

I'm so about to say, "then why didn't you sleep with her?"

I'm just a little confused about his friend's personality and sometimes don't know what to make of it. Something tells me I should watch my back. I don't think he likes me.

I don't mind that my hubby has a past and I'm proud that he's had a good life. I'm a pretty reasonable non-jealous person.

The thing that bothers me is that his friend almost wants me to care.

So what exactly am I supposed to care about now?

We have to spend a weekend with them so I'm having reservations about this.

Answer 1

It sounds like there is some jealousy going on . Maybe he sees some thing in you that he can't see in his wife and he is jealous of the fact that his friend has a great wife .

I also think that your husband needs to talk to him about this and let him know that even though they had some great times and looking back on the memories every once in awhile is great , he needs to focus more on the future than the past .  And that by him " throwing " the past up every chance he gets around you is rude and disrespectful , he would appreciate it if he would stop .

In the mean time if he throws all of this up at you again just tell him

" yeah , if he ( your husband ) knew then what he knows now he would have skipped all of them and married me a lot sooner " .

As far as the week end goes , if it really bothers you that much let your husband know that this would make you very uncomfortable and you would prefer not to go .

Best of luck .

Answer 2

Tell the friend everyone has a past, h**l this stuff wasn't brand new when he got it!!!!My husband has a friend that was always starting stuff because I had a male friend, He would say are you sure they didn't have a sexual relationship? My husband would have doubts, and ask me.  I said yes honey i bring all my old lovers over and introduce them to my husband, that way I always have something to do on saturday night.Finally after five years, this guy is giving me props that there aren't any women out there like me, and he is lucky to have me.  My husband told me this just last week and I said, Oh he finally quit hating me did he?I would ask the guy what his problem with you is, rather bluntly in front of my husband.

Answer 3

My guess is your husbands friend wants you! ! !

You are better looking and nicer than his wife and he is jealous of his friend because you are a hot and wonderful wife????

Just my opinion from reading between the lines and thinking like a guy!

Answer 4

Make your husband put his a** in place!!! and if he talks like this again....say somthing to  him! and dont hang out w them again! you dont need that! your  husband needs to be a man and stop him! NOW!

I mean what is your husband...?? a walking PU**Y/?? tell him to put an end to this nonsense immature behavior !!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Strange but I had a few thoughts on this. One I wasn't going to say until you mentioned it. I don't think he likes you. It's almost as if he had great times with your hubby when your husband was with someone else. Either that or he is just a "trouble maker" looking to bring about a reaction for some drama. It is great that you are not a jealous person and can look at things objectively. One other thought, maybe because he knows that you are secure with yourself, he is trying to quietly test you to see if he gets a reaction.

I suggest maybe trying to talk with your husband about this. Maybe the next time, if you feel bold, you can stop him in his tracks and ask him straight out "why do you always feel like you need to show me my hubby's past life?" "Suppose I had photos & stories about your wife's ex boyfriends and showed them to you? or photos of your ex girlfriends and showed them to your wife?" Then see what he says. Another thought, what about if you mentioned it to his wife? What would happen now? Just some thoughts & ideas for you. Good luck.

Answer 6

That sounds really weird.  It's almost like the friend is jealous of you, and so is trying to break the two of you up.  I don't think he likes you, at the very least.  What does your husband say about all this?  Would he be supportive if you told him you want to find a way out of this weekend with his friend?

Answer 7

First, have you ever asked his friend WHY he keeps bringing up these things?  I would ask and see what he says.  Second, maybe the friend is "stuck" in the past and just trying to "relive" his good old college days.  My husband has a friend like this who will never shut up about their college days...it is like he just wants to be in college forever.  Third, maybe the guy is just rude and inconsiderate.  I think you should definately ask why he is bringing all of these exes up...very strange.  I would also tell your husband that his friend makes you uncomfortable. If it were my husband, I know that he would always want me to be comfortable in social situations and never make me go anywhere where I felt insulted or snubbed by the other people who are there.  Good Luck.

Answer 8

He is just jealous.

Answer 9

your hubby's friend is acting like a jerkoff and a child.  bringing out pictures of your friend's beautiful ex's in front of his wife?  who does that?!?  he should be permanently banished from the brotherhood forever.  to me, it sounds like he either has a thing for you or for your husband.  neither would surprise me as he is trying to make you jealous/insecure in an attempt to bust you up.  don't give into him.  so far, you've played it the right way...been gracious and havent given him any ammunition to use against you.  however, it sounds like his behavior is habitual.  you might want to talk to your husband about it.  don't sound accusatory, but let him know that you are bothered by this.  he may have to talk to him about it.  that might be enough to get the friend to back off.  if not, and the behavior continues, i would tell your hubby that he can hang out with this guy all that he wants, but if he is hanging out that night, you will not be.  you deserve respect, not this stupid treatment.

Answer 10

He likes ya!!! But no more being polite. Next, time his friend says something just say hey dude whats the deal (in a nice way). Look I'm his wife now and I would really appreciate if you just relax with the ex's. Make sure you say it in front of his wife and your hubby. If he tries to argue or get mad just say, please just have respect for me that's all. I'm sure your wife wouldn't like it if my husband did that all the time. Let that be the end of it.

Answer 11

he is jealous and immature

simple as

he is your hubbys buddy

he sees hime with what he obviously wants in life and perhaps feels he has lost his mate, he is trying to throw a spanner in the works to get his playmate back, stupid man

you obviously have a great outlook on life, let him keep displaying his petty jealousy, he only looks a bigger fool the longer he does it

good luck

Answer 12

For some reason he's trying to get a rise out of you because maybe he's actually jealous of your relationship with your husband or just jealous of you in general and since he's not getting the reaction he'd expect, he's probably going to keep doing it until it does. I would reply back with a smart comment just as he's throwing smart comments on me. "If she's so great, why didn't you sleep with her?" or "Seems like you like this girl a lot, too bad she didn't care for you and went after my husband." If you laugh it off like it means nothing to you and keep your level of confidence, it should discourage his comments. He's trying to make you appear less than them, so make him feel the same way. I'm sure if you're firing back comments, his mouth would shut up quick.

Good luck. ;]

Answer 13

He probably likes you and can't stand for you to think so highly of your husband.  He wants to be seen in a good light and paint your hubby in a negative light.  Continue to pump your husband up in front of him, so he'll get the message that your feelings for your husband will never change.

Answer 14

Your husband's friend is jealous of your husband and wants to cause trouble for him. He hopes that this causes fighting as soon as you two get alone.

This guy is not a friend.

Answer 15

You need to put him in his place.

Do it nicely the first time. If he does not get the message, be cruel.

But the obvious fact to everyone except you and your husband is your husband's friend has a thing for you.