Why does my husband choose work over me?

Question

I have been suffering from a medical problem for the past 2 months and finally I have a doctors appoinment set up to go find out what the problem is and I am a little worried that its something serious but my husband straight out told me no when I asked if he would take off work and come with me. His boss is very understanding and I know that he would'nt have a problem with my husband taking a day off so what do you think the reasoning is behind him not taking the day off to be there for me? This isn't the first time that work has come before me I was in a serious care accident where I had rolled my truck 4 times and was in a neck brace and in a lot of pain and got out of the hopsital the same night of the accident and he had to work the next so he went leaving me at home being helpless and when I confronted him he said I should just go to my parents so I wouldn't be home by myself, everytime he does this it hurts more, and I have talked to him and explained that he hurts me by doing this but yet he continues choosing work over me, am I asking too much of him?

Answer 1

well yeh it is actually pretty rude and stuff of him to not be there for you. but he has got to work to make money so that you and him can have a living too. i mean he cant take off all the time and lose money and risk losing his job for taking off too much

Answer 2

how long have you guys been together .sounds to me there is more to this' than work . why he should be so insensitive 'is beyond me .

Answer 3

ok here's my take.. and i made mistakes myself.. so in my life experience here's what's going on...

first.. he's taking you for granted.. your married.. your his wife.. your his best friend.. your family.. that's become a "fact" something permenent a cornerstone in his life.  Problem is.. taking you for granted is bad for your relationship and itt is very damaging..

secondly.. he believes that everything you have.. your future.. all is tied up in his success in his job.. your house.. your car. your living standard.. everythign.. the job is priority 1.. becuse it makes everythign else possible.

well .. in retrospect.. i realize .. what should come first is you.. and it's sad he does not realize this.. that he takes you for granted.. that the most important thing in his life is you .. not the d**n job..

some day.. he may come to realize.. and regret this.. just like i have..

good luck to you both.. i hope your understanding and loving.. and i hope he see's the light.. before its too late..

Answer 4

Most men do not handle illness well.They also do not like change in their lives much.Probably he is just afraid of that.I don't think he chooses work over you its just that work is a normal occurrence,a normal day so to speak.I wouldn't worry about it too much unless a serious illness develops from this,otherwise I would just be cheerful and go on about your business.Doctor visits happen.That's just life.

Answer 5

I'll agree that he was insensitive after your car accident.  He probably should have stayed home with you at least the next day.  To expect him to take a day off work to go with you to a doctor's appointment is ridiculous.  In this case, you're asking too much.  I've never dreamed of asking someone to accompany me to the doctor, even for serious issues.

Answer 6

I'm kind of on his side.  Sorry.  I mean life doesn't stop because your wife has a doctor's appointment.  It sounds like you have a tendency to exaggerate & need attention.  It's not like you're having surgery.  And if your car accident was that serious you would not have been released the same day.  Plus you do have your parents nearby, right?  I had major surgery in January & the very next day a friend of ours needed my husband's help.  I told him to hook me up with some bottled water, the remote control & my frozen peas.  Go handle business you know?