Why does my mother do this to me?

Question

it seems like my mom prefers my 15 year old brother better just because i didn't listen to her and i did what my heart told me to ok heres my problem i got married whith a guy that she didnt like for me and she also told me that she wasnt happy when she find out that im gonna married my boyfriend that lasted 6 years which im already married whith him ohhh and u know what my mother did on my wedding day god (poor guy) she told my stepdad and my brother NOT TO GO TO MY WEDDING or else she would not let see my little brother ever again whith his dad and my mom says that my brother always listen to what she said that is best for my brother like (ohh junior always listen to me when his future is right for him something like that) u get it and she is very proud of my brother and she is even crazy for my brother to get a girlfriend already she says ohh im crazy for my son to have his own girl and how come shes not happy for me does this means that she loves my brother more than me ...ohh when we all went to orlando disney land and the 1 night in the hotel....my mother brought her lap top and around 8:30 or 9:00 pm she said to me and my husband (luisa and robert go to sleep already and let junior alone in the labtop) how come she didnt send him to bed too how come she let him stay up and in the computer does she trying to say that she loves my brother more than her only 1 daughter instead of loving us both the same way only because his much more brilliant than me what does she trying to say whith all of the above....im confused and sad cause my mother didnt want noone of my family to go to my wedding and not even her i was the saddest bride that night plzzzz tell me what does she trying to say cause im noticing that my brother has more attention than me even when he was small thank u for ur answer.....oh when we went to my aunt house it seems like my aunt loves him more too cause at night she gave him a fan right of front of me saying here sleep comfortable and extra pillows and in the morning we were going to the and my aunt said here u can keep the towel cause i think my brother said that he didnt have any pool or beach towel plzzzz tell me waht this plp trying to saying cause i feel left out and less loved plzzz tell me what to do????????

Answer 1

Here's what I think. I think your mom is angry that you didn't follow what she believed was best for you for all these years (you didn't let her control you). You lived as your own person from the start and she seems to be upset about that. She basically seems to be holding a grudge. Your brother listens to everything your mom says and follows her, unlike what you've done and that's probably why she's treating him better. Make sense?

I say you talk to her one on one. Pour out all your feelings and tell her how much you've been hurt by her words and actions because this is NOT right. She should be giving the both of you equal treatment because you are both her beloved children and you deserve much more respect than you're getting. Make sure she listens to you and if she has a response, listen to her as well so that you can fix this and work it out together.

-Shaii

Answer 2

One thing i have to let you know is your mother doesnt hate you, because no mother would carry a child for 9 months and raise the child, if it wasnt for love. From what i read, i think your mother really despises your husband. Thats why she favors your brother more. This is partialism, and yes, it is very unfair. You should find out why your mother doesnt like your husband. You should talk to your mother. If even communication fails between you two, i suggest you do something for her. I would make a scrapbook of your childhood memories with her and write down journal feelings. Your mother would turn around somehow, but you need to find a way. Best wishes.

Right now, i am million miles away from my home and family, so i am really left out of my family now, but i dont feel unloved because they still care.  

Answer 3

you are complaining but you have brought all of this on yourself

you have made a mess of your life and now you need to try and act like an adult and make the best of it

Answer 4

Sounds like a power struggle is going on. You want to be independent and be with who you want and your mother thinks she knows whats best for you. There needs to be some heart to heart talks, but that won't happen with two people who aren't willing to give an inch. Swallow some of your pride and acknowledge that your mom is only acting this way because shes worried about you and thinks she knows best. Tell her your sorry, but to please give you and your husband a chance and do little things for your mom whether she asks you to or not. ( Hugs, "I love you", good deeds) whether she deserves them or not. Stuff like that usually brings people around after awhile and if it doesn't ....then you two need some space for awhile. ( and get your husband to do things, too, and say nice things to her. At least he will know he tried and can give himself a pat on the back for it.) Good luck.