Why does my mother treat me this way/?

Question

I'm 21 and for as long as I can remember, anytime I try to express my feelings about any subject that my mother doesn't agree with me on, she belittles me and tells me I'm an extremist. Or, she says things that imply that I'm crazy because I do not agree with her. She keeps riding into me until I'm in tears and I do not know why. I let her have her opinions and feelings, why wont she let me have mine? This isn't the only thing she does to me and it's so weird to me because she is so kind to my siblings, and awful to me. She is a miserable women and she wants me to be as down in the dumps as she is. I'm to the point now where I just want to stop trying to make it better and stop talking to her altogether. But I really do not want to be estranged from my family. Telling her how I feel only makes it worse, she tells me I'm a liar and that she never acts the way I say she does. I'm just sick of it! What should I do?

Answer 1

You're 21 now....you are old enough to distance yourself from her, and although it's hard, try not to let her bother you!

Answer 2

i would say what alexis says build up courage and say''if you continue to treat me like you are treating me now i would stop talking to you cut you from my life and move out , so unless you want to keep out relationship you should change mom, i love you but the way you treat me i dont like it at all '  good luck hun

she has no right to treat you like that. it reminds me of the story cinderella

Answer 3

i think this is how most of moms seem to be.. mine was so too..but now after we were separated because i am married now every thing changed..even we miss each other..so ...it will gonna change for sure..don't be sad

Answer 4

just agree with her. keep your opinions to yourself, and dont go to her for advice. I had the same problem.

Answer 5

If she keeps mistreating you this way, then when it comes to a healthy, happy life, there's nothing for it but to stop talking to her.  It will hurt, of course, to know that you can't talk to your mother anymore, but she is clearly a verbal abuser to you and you need to get away from her in order to be happy.  Just cut her out of your life, go on living, and eventually your wound (where you removed her from your life) will heal.  I wish you luck, and hope that my advice works for you and helps you to feel better as soon as possible.

Answer 6

Unfortunately people like this DON'T change. So you pretty much have 1 of 3 options. One, you can cut off all contact from her and tell her it's because you don't feel like she treats you the way you deserve to be treated. 2 You could try talking to her, although I doubt it will do any good. Or 3, you could keep your conversations with her very basic and not share your personal thoughts or feelings anymore. I can somewhat understand how you feel. When I share certain things with my mom she always has to disagree but the way she disagrees makes it seem like she's right or has better taste and I'm wrong. If it's something as simple as a song, I could say "I like this song" and if she doesn't like it she'll say "you like this....why eww I dk why"

Answer 7

If I were in your position, I would build up some courage and say: "Mom, I really don't like the way that you treat me, and I am not going to talk to you until you have to listen to what I have to say." and that is true, but be sure that your mom knows that she has to hear you out, and not interrupt. Moms do that...  I think that she just wants you to feel bad about yourself so that with her insecurity, she feels better... I hope that this helps!

Answer 8

Think about this rationally.

You are with someone who treats you like c**p, always makes you unhappy, she makes fun of your feelings and she herself is a very unhappy person.

I don't want to be around someone like that.  You shouldn't either.

You can't change her.  You either accept her or leave her.  You can't accept her as she is.

Answer 9

if you are 21 year old move out there  do you have dad  talk to him see if you move in is place your spend night with friends you need to get apatment yourself get out her place stay away from her in get out there soon get your place good luck?