Why does my nine year old act up every night when it is a holiday after everything has died down?

Question

My nine year old acts up every night when a major holiday comes around. I can pretty much predict it no matter how much I try to deter this behavior. I am a single mother and her father is not involved too much. I am so frustrated. I dread the holidays when all the family leaves and its just us at home with her sister due to the pending moodiness and rude behavior I will encounter. I set firm limits and do not allow this in my home, so there ends up being a punishment and I hate that because it is no longer quality time on a holiday. For example; she is sitting in a time out now because she has refused to do what was asked of her. So frustrating!

Answer 1

Maybe because (s)he is over tired, excited about the day, and wants to keep it going.  Sometimes i find that if you try talking to them abput the excitement of the day and all the fun they had, it helps calm them down.  I personally think they get this way becasue they enjoy the gathering so much they feel kinda saddened to see it end, which i think we can all relate to at some point.

Be patient momma, everything will go back to normal

Answer 2

People have said it, and hit it right on the head: she's excited about the day, and the excitement wears her out. Maybe the excitement of the holiday even keeps her up late that night. It's pretty normal. So normal, in fact, that I (an adult!) am moody at the end of the day! Perhaps it's that you're both moody? It's only 3 or 4 times a year, and the next day, you'll both be back to your old selves. :)

Answer 3

My son acts like this as soon as everyone gets together... We went to church this morning, happy, did the egg thing- happy, hung out around the house - happy, played a board game- great..... then went to my mothers, on the way there it started in the car.  

Hold Grammas basket please and leave the candy in it for her, we've had enough and can share....- he took some right after and then told me, then at her house everything he was asked to do or not do -- he did the opposite.    We had a preplanned sleepover happening also and I think (this time) he really believes that because his cousin was already coming, he didn't have to behave.

He hadn't been in trouble in like 2 weeks.  This happens every holiday that other people are involved.  And you are right... what happens to the quality time?   I actually wish he waited till we were home alone. At least then you can read a story and put him to bed.

Sorry you are frusterated, that stinks, I understand.

Answer 4

Maybe the day was been soon full of excitement, that when it comes to a end she wants to continue having fun or being fussed about. During the day have her to take a nap or something. Let that be the que between the two of you that she will have to start winding down when the company starts to leave and if she shows a better attitude the she won't have to take naps during the day.

Answer 5

I agree with most... its holiday let down.  Its just like when you were in high school and you would get that little melancholy feeling on a Sunday night.  Since you can predict it will happen, and holidays don't come along all that often, you may want to consider trimming back on what you ask of her on those nights.  Get the homework done, chores, etc., before the holiday, so that night she can just be.  Maybe she could even have a special thing to look forward to on holiday nights... a special TV show, a game with you.  Also, give her a little transition time... its hard to go from playing and enjoying the holiday to "right to bed".  Limits are great, but sometimes you have to loosen them up a little for special circumstances.

Answer 6

Too much stimulation for one day. Everyone is around and there isn't the regular schedule.

Answer 7

my 6 year old daughter is the same way...its the excitement. even when things die down they still have so much energy to burn down. it will pass as she gets older.

Answer 8

over tired

over excited

a bit upset its all over

try and stay calm or she might get even more upset, sometimes the holidays all get a bit to much for them

Answer 9

she is probably wishing alot of people is still there and she is probably overwhelemed from all the commotion on a big day

Answer 10

She's on holiday overload.  My mother gets the same thing...  she almost always has a temper tantrum after the rest of the family leaves.  I need to give my own mother a lengthy time out!  All the excitement causes her brain to short circuit and then she gets crabby.  So, here I am, 27 years old and I am having to send my own mother to her room...  I'd much rather just go home to my own house, lol!  

Some people, especially kids, have a hard time when there is a break in their routine.  I'm sure you have some sort of regular routine that goes on in your home.  When that routine is disrupted, she just blows a gasket.  Not to mention the fact that YOU are probably over-tired and stressed and your child is feeding off of your own frustrated energy.  Make sense?  

Best thing is to send her to her room for some quiet time.  Have her watch a video, or anything she will do to just chill and relax.  She will probably grow out of it, but this is an important step in her ability to deal with conflict resolution, so you may just have to weather the storm.

Answer 11

My daughter is just like this. She's 7.

Give her things to do to help, but not like chores. Once that dies out, park her in front of the computer or TV. Let her stay up late (to have some quiet time). If she refuses to do anything, like help clean, just let her be. I usually regret it, but most of our house stays messy and just gets cleaned the next day when everyone is in a better mood. If any cleaning does get done, the kids are no where to be found. I think that's fine. The day after they're more than happy to help make the house decent again.

My daughter starts getting hyper right after we eat and things are starting to wind down. She's gets an attitude and starts getting mad at everyone. I send her off to play on the computer and if she comes back, she's happier. If she doesn't come back, she needs the quiet time. She is not forced to sit with adults to eat, nor does she have to say bye to anyone (she's usually too wound up by then). My 3 year old son is the same way. As soon as he starts getting mad at anyone he is sent back outside to relax.

(They both have autism so yes they get plenty of space and understanding from me)

Answer 12

he's normal.  spend more time with him.