Why does my skinny friend talk badly about fat people to me, and I'M fat?

Question

My guy friend is always talking badly about fat people. In a very despising manner, he says they have very little values and self-discipline. He is a vegetarian and is very particular with nutrition and fitness. When he does this, I usually sit there and just react with a "Really?" or "Mm-hmm..." because I feel awkward how I am obese and he is saying these things about people like me, right in front of my face! Why do you think he does that, and is he aware of how I may feel?

Answer 1

perhaps he is trying to be a true friend and share this life saving information with you and it appears that it is being ignored...

if the brakes were out in your car and he informed you of that fact would you also brush it off?

Answer 2

The guy is a clod...he's so busy patting himself on the back he has no idea what he is doing to you or he just doesn't care.  Maybe he thinks that you're so busy wishing you were him instead of yourself that you won't notice the things he says.  I would find another friend who is a nicer person.  Even if you weren't obese it would be wrong of him to think that way.

Answer 3

It is quite simple. He is a skinny, thoughtless moron with a fat brain!  And why would you remain friends with such a Village Idiot?

Answer 4

He's clueless, or his attitudes about fat people are just really superficial.  Maybe you should say "Why are you saying that, don't you see that I'm obese?"  Confront him about it, because it's making you uncomfortable and its rude.  Talking **** about a group of people is trashy and inappropriate.

Answer 5

I'd say " Hey, I'm overweight. Do you feel that way about me, too?" Then sit back, look him in the eyes and wait for his answer.  He obviously has some hidden feelings about people that just seem to pop out, but he seems to like you as a friend, but just can't keep his foot out of his mouth. Whew! If you confronted him in a nice way, I bet he'd straighten up real fast and think twice before speaking. Good luck.

Answer 6

He is not your friend.I would dump him,no need to feel upset and bad everyday because he has a problem and it is him not you.It is acceptable to say something once or twice after that it is a harrassment on his part.Real freinds like you the way you are.While hanging with him you are losing oppertunies elsewhere.

Answer 7

Why don't you just confront him on the matter, and while you're at it, you can educated him a little.

Most people who are heavy are not compulsive eaters or even particularly lazy. At one point in their life they consumed more calories than they needed for a particular period of time. It's entirely plausible that they could have been vegetarians or vegans at the time as well. The average caloric requirement of an a person is stated to be 2,000 calories a day. Men typically need between 2,000 and 2,300 and women typically need between 1500 and 1900, however, some people have very slow metabolisms and high levels of hormones which attribute to the storage of fat and might need as little as 1200 calories a day.

Answer 8

While it may be true that your friend may be, awkwardly, trying to suggest you try a healthier lifestyle, it doesn't change the fact that what he is doing is being rude, by pushing his lifestyle on you. My question to you is, why are you still friends with him? If he doesn't know how you feel, you should tell him, politely, that you are not interested in his vegetarian/etc lifestyle, and that you feel his comments are hurtful toward you. If after that, he continues, then I suggest you find a new friend.  

Answer 9

He may be trying to give you a hint to try and get healthier. He sounds like a bit of a prick but that may be his indirect way of trying to get you to try and lose some weight. You said you are obese not just overweight so I am assuming you are quite large.  

Answer 10

Well if that the way he talked about overweight people, you bet he talking about you behind your back etc.

Ask yourself do you need friends like that?

If he was a true friend he like you and respect you if your either fat, skinny etc

Some on this have said maybe your so called friend is trying to give you a hint about your weight. If so that none of his business and it quite hurtful

Answer 11

Carlos, Your friend is giving you a hint...get off your fat *** and lose some of that ***.