Why does my son whine so much?

Question

My son is so whiny and sensitive! He gets his feelings hurt really easily. Lately he has been on this whiny kick and its causing alot of turmoil in our home. My boyfriend is my sons "stepdad" since his dad isnt around. He has two teenage girls of his own that visit. Most of the time they hide out in their room as teenagers do but my son takes it as them ignoring him. Ive tried to explain thats what girls do, but he doesnt understand. Plus anytime anything about the girls come up my boyfriend gets in a huff. So then my son has his so called Dad yelling at him because he's defending his girls and I just dont think it helps. I keep saying that its a faze and I dont think yelling at him will fix the problem, I feel like it will get worse. Worse yet he has started the nobody loves me or the nobody likes me deal. He started having probs the end of the school year and due to my surgery he hasnt been around many other kids this summer. Is this a faze? How can I get my sons self esteem back? :(

Answer 1

well i am the stepdad to a son to and i have a little girl the same age. the boy whines alot and cries about everything is it a phase i don't think so.. he cries because he has been spoiled buy his dad and everyone on his side of his family. whining is away of getting things , anything from attention to something to drink. if you want to cure it just don't listen to it. make him leave the room with the whining and never give them what they are asking for while they are whining..my daughter is starting this too because her mom gives in to the whining and so she brings it to my house also. it causes alot of arguing in the house because its always easier to see the other kid doing it but maybe you should not argue with the boyfriend but sit down and come to a solution for the problem. a set of rules and to make sure you do not give into the whining and without being mean at the same time...we are trying this too... hope it helps

Answer 2

I think the problem is with how your boyfriend treats him, not how your son is behaving.  Sorry.  It sounds like your boyfriend is yelling at him for dumb things.  This will crush a small child's spirit in a heartbeat when done too often.

Answer 3

sounds like you need to put him in like boxing soccer martial arts something that will make him enteract with other kids

Answer 4

your son probably needs to toughen up....

the world isn't u get what u want place.....

give him a set of weights and say 'get used to it, cuz that's what's in store for you' Be strict and in time he'll learn life is a journey which he has to drive all the way through no matter how hard it gets.

Or take his mind of things by converting him to the books. He'll soon become absorbed into fanatasy and fiction he'll resort to that to escape the pressures of life.

I was a pansy when i was 8 but my mum explained to me the troubles she had as a kid and how she resolved them...

Heck i'd come home with bruises all over the place!!! Toughen him up emotionally and mentally

Let him do club sports for socialising. Send him to martial arts. Turn him towards studies and books. Watever works

Best of luck with the family!! =)

Answer 5

I think your son just feels unwanted and unloved. What you should do is spend some quality time with him, just the 2 of you. Go to the park, play some sports together, have a picnic, go to the beach. I remmebr goign through that faze, and it really feels awful because you feel alone and isolated, like no one cares. In his eyes, his stepfather and sisters don't care about him enough to want to spend time with him and to make things worse, his mom takes his stepfathers side. Just show him that you love him, and that you'll always be there for him, no matter what and I'm sure he'll get back to his usual self. Btw, he might also be afraid to lose you, after your surgery and all, jsut talk to him and I'm sure he'll tell you what's wrong.

Answer 6

Don't take this the wrong way, but take a big look at yourself! What has your son been going on this long being a winner? Did this happen after the divorces? Was there something that the real father provided while he was with you. Or was your son the same way when his father was around. Maybe after the father left, (I'm JUST GUESSING), you babied your son and spoiled him, giving him everything he wanted or all the attention he wanted to try and make up for his father. Or maybe you did not step up to the plate and become the dual roled parent who give off both a mother and a father figure presence. Maybe you got together with the boyfriend to soon and this was too much, to fast for the boy. Does he have some uncles, grandfathers or any other related man to spend time with him. How often does his father come to see him, (IF HE DOES). And if so, is the father spoiling him when he comes to visit or maybe the father is telling him bad things that you and the boyfriend love the girls more than you love him. There could be a number of reasons as to why your son is being so sensitive. If you really think that this is becoming a problem, seek out a good counselor, but don't let him prescribe any medicines for a sensitive, winny kid because many kids go through this phase.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Talk to your son about why he's feeling so down. Tell him it's going to be okay, and that your there for him.

Answer 8

How long has the step dad been in his life? Was it just you and the little boy before the step dad and sisters?

Maybe he misses the one on one time the two of had. Maybe he wishes his dad was around. Maybe he just needs some attention from everyone.

What your sharing could cause a lot of damage to your son("developmental" how he sees the world, how he treats women, etc....). I'm pretty sure your son is your heart, and sometimes we have to choose our heart over everything else.