Why does my teenage daughters attitude STINK?

Question

I dont know how to deal with my 13 year old daughter anymore. Everyone in our family gets along but we can never enjoy ourselves if my daughter is around. She has something bad to say about everything. We are growing further and further apart because she is not interested in anything the family is doing. If we are not blowing money on her like the rest of her friends (which I dont), then she is pissed off about it. SHe seems angry all the time. When I ask her why, she says she is mad because she doesnt like anybody telling her what to do. Is this normal? I dont remember acting this way with my mother at her age and I wasnt a saint myself. She goes as far as to walk separated from us whenever we go out and always makes fun of my hair, my weight gain, etc. I just had a baby. I just feel like I dont like her most of the time because she is so mean to everyone. Is there anything I can do to change this?

Answer 1

spank her over ur knee skirtt up panties down spank her little bare butt red

Answer 2

This is totally normal, I went through it with my parents 10 years ago and it lasts a while. Teenage girls think they are smarter and cooler than everyone on the planet and every word that comes out of their mouths seems to be dripping with disdain. You must have fun evenif she is unpleasant, otherwise you will be miserable waiting for her to grow out of it.

Answer 3

Short answer, because she's a teenager. I know you probably were not as intense as a teen, but you didn't have to live in a world, where rumors  fly quickly through half her friends via email, text message, or finding one your embarrassing moments downloaded on You-tube for the whole world to see. She is living in a different world, so of course you can't understand.

You also mentioned that she is only happy when you are blowing money on her. Does she understand money? She may not. Maybe you can come up with a creative way to teach her?

You also mentioned that you just had a baby. Is she jealous of the baby? Maybe you are not as patience with her as you were before because taking care of a new baby is A LOT of work.

I know it will be difficult, but talk to her. Call her out when she says something mean...why did she say that? She has to be getting some kind of reward for being mean...what is it? If she continues with this unacceptable behavior, then punish her...grounded, taking away privileges, etc & stick to it!  

Good Luck!! *Big HUGS**

Answer 4

hi. this is not the answer you were prob looking for but i am a 15 year old and i act mean towards my parents all the time. why? i dont know.  i think  it is the fact that i want everything i put my eyes on.i  hate when i act this way. i do try changing but like i feel i know so much about everything and i dont need my parents help anymore.  but i really do.   and like another reason why me and my mom fight is because she always tells me i do nothing around the house.  i am always trying but i would rather be with friends.  idk  but if you have any more questions dont be afraid to ask =]  [e-mail]

Answer 5

There is a thing called "hormones". look it up

Answer 6

its just her being a teen we girls get like that just leave her alone. yea shes p.o ed all the time thats how teens are and if she makes fun of how fat u are slap her if she crys about u not spending money on her and all her friends tell that spoiled brat to get over it. im 15 my mom just had a baby 7 months ago and she doesnt hav money to spend on me shoot she already told me shes not gonna be able to spend alot of money on my birthday but i got over it. all u can do is confront her about her sucky attitude and tell her to stop acting like such a witch aand get over herself.

Answer 7

First, she's a 13-year-old girl, and she's acting like one.

But, second, she might also be feeling a little left out lately. So, rather than dealing with those feelings, she's lashing out at you. This makes you angry, and you don't really want to be around her all that much because she's lashing out -- and then you validate her feelings about being left out. See how that works? It's a vicious cycle.

Buying her things isn't going to solve the problem, so don't fall into that trap. She needs time and attention. Give her some responsibility -- ask for her advice about family outings; take her along the next time you get your hair cut, and let her tell the stylist what to do with you; give her money and take her to the mall to pick out a new top for each of you (she picks yours, too); let her help with the baby, but don't demand it ... You can see where I'm going. Just treat her like the young woman you want her to be (and that you know she is, somewhere in there). And tell her you love her, every morning, every night, every time you think of it, no matter what.

Answer 8

Well, we don't quite know, since you have been raising her!

However, sounds like she needs some guidelines and discipline (I don't mean punishment) - she's pretty much crying out for it - that's what the 'angry' is all about, she's lost. She is being horribly disrespectful to you, which should not be tolerated one iota.

Time for you two to step up and be Parents, not friends with her. Don't take any guff from her - and it would not hurt you to do some reading about Tough Love and incorporating some of the strategies.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I can't tell you what you can do about it except ride it out. I went through a very similar phase. I hate to tell you this, but it's probably going to get worse. I finally grew out of it around age 19. My  family went to therapist, it helped alleviate some of the problems. I just remember hating being seen with my parents, and having a complete disrespect for all authority/adults. On retrospect getting a job/responsibility may help( it kept my mind off my own problems, and kept me out of trouble). Make her earn respect, then she will learn to give it back.

GL.........Rich

Answer 10

My daughters, twins, put me thru that at the same age, two at a time! Your daughter may be more angry, etc., because of the new baby. She may need reassurance that you love her anyway. She may be testing you to see if you do. Find a neutral spot, like riding in the car, and ask her why she acts like she hates you, and listen to what she says.

Answer 11

It's normal.  And you writing this question confirms it for me.  I have a daughter that just turned 14 that sounds to act the same as yours (started at 13 yrs.) and makes me feel the same as you.  Feel comfort that you are not alone.  I do believe it's hormones gone wild!  My other daughter who is 12 yrs. and is usually so sweet is starting to show signs of the evil teenage attitude.  My father says it's time to just lock her in the closet and not let her out till she's 18 yrs. when it will be all over with lol  For now, just keep reminding yourself that she is a teenager and try not to let her words effect you, just walk away and breath.  As I'm sure you know, children grow up soo fast and before you know it this too shall pass and you'll both be able to look back and laugh.  Good luck to you!

Answer 12

shes a teen thats nomal

im 13 to but its really hard we feel as if you never leave us alone and we get no priacy

and remember were going through puberty, getting our period, growing hair, growing b***s

its not that hard for us we feel as if we want to be close to you and we try hard but its the hormones we get grumpy, and life does suk going to skool every day and we know you have it hard to but just remember we love you and we try hard!! dot take it to harshly

plz help:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 13

Kids stink, thank god im not a parent!

I think you should basically tell her what you just told us.  Dont do it when youre mad about something, but when things are calm and there is no issue going on, have a talk with her.  Tell her that you want to have a good relationship with her but she's ruining the relationship for the reasons you stated.  If she says she "cant stand to be told what to do", remind her that she's the kid, youre the mom, and its not like you ask her to crawl into the septic tank.  You ask her to do reasonable things and you dont see why that should be a problem.

Also, tell her that making fun of you has got to stop; that you want a positive relationship and you have too much self respect to like and enjoy the company of someone who belittles you.

Answer 14

Looks like you've got a lot of things goin on here. First of all she is a teenager and now is the time for so many changes in her body and hormones.  It is also the time that kids start to try and gain more and more independance.  Second there is a new baby to deal with, the family dynamic has changed.  You say she is happy when you spend money on her maybe this is her way of saying I need attention.  Acting out and making fun gets her negative attention but it is still attention.  Third I get the impression there may be a lack of discipline, I may be wrong though.  Because of all of the above, family counseling may be helpful.  If that is not something that is possible, then try to talk to her one on one.  Support some of her independance whil letting her know in no uncertain terms that YOU are the parent and she is the CHILD.  It is your job to tell her what to do and give her consequences for her actions.  Talking back to you and making fun of you are very disrespectful behaviors that need some negative consequences.  Good Luck!

Answer 15

She's 13!!! She's a teenager that's how they are and that's how we are. I've been there not too many years ago. I was so rude to my mother, not so much my father. My mother was the one who always asked how things were going, etc and I told her off for doing so. I do feel bad now, and when my younger brother is acting the same was I used now I calm him down. When I look back it makes me sad how I treated her. But, the best advice I can give you is if it irritates her, leave it alone, UNLESS it is a life or death situation or you believe she is in some SERIOUS trouble. Other than that, you should try what my mother did. Say you ask her why are you mad, how are things going, etc. and she gets mad, don't try getting it out. Look at her with kind eyes and just say ok, it's fine if you want to talk I'LL BE HERE for you and leave the room. If she continues just don't ask. After a while I felt alone and WENT to my mother to talk or just be with her, started asking her to go places with me, as long as she doesn't go asking questions, and little by little I started telling her things. Teenagers like the feeling of having control being alone, etc, but when it's given to them, they can't handle it MOST OF THE TIME and will go to you.

Answer 16

All she needs is a paddle applied to her bare bottom. It straightened me out at 13 every once in a while. That may even be what she wants.