Why does my wife have trouble dealing with finances?

Question

I'm so thankful my wife works hard for our family. She works full time as an adoption specialist and she's the wonderful mother of my son. We had issues with her work providing funding for her travel, so we were put in a jam. We've moved on, but she is still getting nsf charges...She's just not keeping up with the balance. When we were first married, I was dealing with everything...For her to be more involved I gave her the stressful task of managing money. It's been 3 years, and probably more than 1000 dollars lost to her struggling with paying bills. Do I give up and take over? I've tried to share the burden but she feels she has her own way. I try to keep her accountable...any ideas?

Answer 1

One of the wonderful aspects of relationships is that your skills and talents can compliment your spouse's skills and talents. Not everyone is good at everything and being honest about what you are and are not good at is very important. You gave your wife a very stressful task on top of her other responsibilities that she may or may not have a particular talent at managing. Given the track record, I would suspect she has other talents and the two of you as a couple should decide where your individual talents and abilities lie and use them to your best advantage. She is not an idiot. She is not lazy. This may be something she is simply not good at. She may find help with talking to a financial planner to get suggestions and strategies to be better organized. It seems more likely that she has a full-time job, is a full-time mother, is a full-time wife, and she has little to no time or attention to devote to bills.

Answer 2

Cause she is an idiot.

Answer 3

talk to her about it.  she might hate paying bills, and be grateful that you want to take over.  If thats not the case, you need to sit down and make a budget, so you know exactly how much you earn a month, the exact bill that have to be paid, and how much you have left over for food/car/misc.  Doing this together, and being positive about the whole situation will be your best bet.  Try not to seem mad about the situation.  

Answer 4

Both of you should be handling the household finances.  You should sit down every month and make a budget.  Sit down weekly and pay bills together and review how well you're doing at staying on budget.  You should each be there to encourage one another and to hold one another accountable to the budget that you've made together.  It just plain doesn't work as well when both of you aren't fully aware of what's going on with your finances.  Frequent reviews of your current situation helps to prevent big surprises... or at least makes it easier to head them off.

Answer 5

Take over. Put your foot down. Family first.

Answer 6

Some people just aren't good with finances. Congrat's, you married someone who isn't. You really have to take charge and do it. Have her take over something else that causes you stress if it's that big of a deal.

Answer 7

why not work on your finances together as a team

Answer 8

I had this problem once. I told my wife she was a moron and found a new one.

Granted this new wife can't handle finances either, but d**n she has a nice body.

Answer 9

Assuming she's failing because of inattention, rather than lack of funds - she's likely not really happy with your marriage.

Answer 10

You need to do the finances because you are more inclined to doing it. That's what is great about being a couple, you balance eachother out. Bedsides her job is very stressfull, this could be a way she has one less thing on her plate...

Answer 11

take over and explain that you want to and need to because you want to save for a trip just the two of you and i am sure she will let you take over