Why does porno my friend gave me make me feel so guilty?

Question

Im a guy in my 20's and i have never had a s*x life. All my mates have girlfriends and since ive been rejected by every girl ive ever liked ive stopped trying! I had s*x once when i was drunk at college with a girl i didnt really know i felt sick the next day. I was over my friends house as usual and he said lets watch a porno of mine, he put it on and i was going to leave but i couldnt stop watching. It was amazing ive never seen this stuff before and i dont agree with it! He gave us all a porno each and i keep masturbating to it even tho i think some of the bits i like are demeaning to women. Why do i keep getting aroused by these dominant graphic images? Is there something wrong with me? It makes me feel sick, but the women dont seem unhappy in the video but i dont think the guys in it can respect them. Why does it turn me on so much then and i cant stop it makes me feel sick. I am masturbating to different bits of the video 3-4 times daily now in my room. Why do i feel so guilty?

Answer 1

I don't think you should feel guilty at all. I'm a girl and I watch porno sometimes - I don't feel good about doing it but it's difficult to ignore and to not enjoy. Look, it's natural, as long as it doesn't get out of control and you find yourslf becoming obssessed with it.

Answer 2

I must of had this problem at 14 and got over it. Thinking it's wrong and horrible but the pleasure side took over me. If I were your age I'd go out clubbing with mates, and not try to get ladies let them come to you. It works with me and keep all good girl / friends.As girls talk and if they think your cool they'll share you with their mate a woman's word of mouth is very powerful.  

Answer 3

because your a guy...

I think its good that you feel like the guys should respect women, and I agree.

I dont really agree with porno, and i really wouldnt watch it myself, but men always go through a period were they are obsessed with it. maybe your just going through that period a bit late.

Sometimes things will arouse you even though you think that you would never do them in real life.

Its normal, all guys fantasize about various things, and just because you get aroused to it doesnt mean that your a bad guy.

i think that one day you will find the right girl, just wait for it.

Dont repress yourself for now, just go with it and do what you feel is right.

goodluck,

Answer 4

I know this seems out of left field but do you happen to be religious?  When i first got interested in s*x i thought it was a bad thing because my parents rarely talked to me about it.  There is nothing wrong with masturbation.  It is actually better to do that then have random s*x.  

Now for the demeaning images of women in pornos, i am sure that they don't have the appropriate respect for women in the pornos, but apparently that is a turn on for guys as i am sure you are not the only one watching these.  I don't think it is a big deal about watching them just make sure this demeaning and disrespectful attitude doesn't translate into your real life encounters.  

I think you are very ennamored with the videos because you know you can't get rejected by a video.  You need to get yourself back in the field and i think once you do your watching will go down and your real life will start.    

Answer 5

There's certainly nothing wrong with you - quite the opposite, I should think. Wait from some answers from other young guys on here - I think they will agree! I also don't think that you are alone in feeling guilty afterwards - it's pretty much a natural reaction. If p**n didn't exist, people would find other things to turn them on - and most people are curious about p**n anyway, even if they don't agree with it in principle!

I guess the only way to stop feeling guilty is to stop watching and focus on something else, or accept that you're not alone by any means.

And no, I don't agree with it either, but I know lots of people who find it arousing, and use it when they are both in and out of relationships.

You won't go on being rejected for ever - I'm a firm believer in 'there's someone for everyone out there' : - )

Answer 6

You're a guy...you're a human being...s*x is pleasurable...

I think that the guilt you feel is b/c unlike some of your friends, you actually want a relationship with a girl...a girl that you want to be intimate with in more than a sexual way...

Don't let rejection stop you from finding someone special...a caring, giving, understanding girl is hard to find...it takes some looking and searching.  Don't expect it to just fall onto your lap.

Answer 7

Well, it's normal, for a guy, to like porno because it gives them a lot of pleasure. I think the reason you feel guilty is because it is kinda gross and all the girls on there get paid to do all this weird, sexual stuff and they probably do feel really uncomfortable. Stop doing it if you feel guilty, it's better to trust your gut instinct then to regret it later!

Hope this helps!

xx <3

Answer 8

Probably because you have an underdeveloped sense of your own sexuality maybe.

About p**n, people make a real big emotional/psycholgial/social fuss about it, but the reality is p**n is really utilitarian. The p**n stars show up and do their thing because it's their job. They get paid for it, they get benefits and insurance blah blah, and they go home to their normal lives just like anyone else. They're just actors, being paid to create a scene for your enjoyment. So don't feel like it's being "demeaning" to women. The women choose that line of work, and before shooting the agree to the amount of things they're willing to do. If they agree to more hardcore stuff, they agreed to be paid more for it, like overtime. Besides, if anyone is getting hosed it's the men. They get paid only if they're lucky a couple of hundred and women get paid several hundred to thousands per scene.

Again, it's actors. And you don't need to feel guilty about "respect" in these films, it's like complaining that Rhett Butler was being disrspectful of Scarlet O'Hara in Gone With the wind when he essentially told her to go s***w herself. Doesn't mean Clark Gable is a jerk. It's a character.

Answer 9

3 or 4 times a day? I think you should take a break. I don't think you should feel guilty, guilt is such a screwed up concept. And it is just that, a concept, it is a western construction. You either mean you feel bad that you did or you mean you beat yourself up for doing it. Don't. I'm not saying you should go for it and I think you’re trying to distract yourself from some issue that you really should deal with. Enjoyment is very conditional. Sexual pleasure is very much dependant on hormone levels. You will enjoy your s*x so much more if you ease off. Quality not quantity. You will also find what you find arousing will shift also. You need to take it easy. Addictions control you. It will take over your life if you do nothing about it. Get your life back. Take a break. Don’t think you will stop over night but take it easy. Don’t feel guilty that will make things worse. Wean yourself off it slowly. You want a real life not a fantasy life.

On the confidence thing. Be accepting of yourself. Think about all your good qualities. Don’t focus on the negatives, we all have negative aspects. Spend some of the time you would have spent watching p**n thinking about what you’re good at. Like yourself and others will like you too.