Why does she criticise me so much?

Question

MIL again, has been doing this for a while but to make a long story short she came around today 1st time in 6 weeks she has bothered to come around and see her gran daughter- anyway as she was leaving she walked over to my daughter and said " tell your mother to feed you and cover you up" and what sort of a mother lets her child sit on a bouncer uncovered.

now for starters

my daughter was just happily sitting there not crying or anything

did not need to be fed

the heater was on

she had winter clothes on beanie and mittens the lot

plus 2 blankets around her. she would have been warm if anything.

look i may just be a bit touchy when it comes to her commenting on my mothering skills, but she got me steamed up a bit.

but when she comments she looks so smug it just pi** es me off a little. and if i say something ill be the worst in the world.

Answer 1

she hates you

Answer 2

don't let her talk to you like that ring her when your not mad and just say i don't want you making unnecessary comments if she goes to argue just say i didn't call to argue and hang up people only treat you how you let them so dont let her c**p on your parenting its hard enough as it is

Answer 3

Honey, I feel for you.  Speak your peace.  If you don't it will continue.  Before long, she is going to TELL you how to do everything.  I know, I have been there with my mother.  If this is the only grandchild, it is going to be VERY hard.  Do Not let her intimidate you.  You do the best you can and let it be at that.  The grands ALWAYS think they can do better.  Also, talk to your spouse about this matter and ask him to speak to her.  Tell her if she wants a baby to raise she needs to have one and let you raise your own.  Good Luck, I will be thinking about you.........

Answer 4

Kill the s***k.

Answer 5

next time kindly say to her "if you have a problem with my parenting, i'd appreciate you talking to me directly instead of talking to my daughter like that".

Answer 6

My MIL just came to visit her grandaughter for the first time, we live 11 hours away & my husband is deployed. She left 5 days early because she disagreed with how I'm doing things. It was ridiculous...some people just dont' learn. Just be confident in your ability as a mother, you know what is best for your child. It's hard to deal with people like that, but unfortunately, some of us didn't get lucky in the MIL selection!!  

Answer 7

oh you dont know me i always answer those ones . like with a smile i would just say ' oh my mommy knows when to feed me , she does when i am hungry and right now i am the happiest child in the world , my mommy is the best " i would say that to her while i am  gently shaking my daughter fingers or touching her face , not even looking at her .Some MIL just need to hear it . and if it bothers you way too much let your hubby know . just dont go and put all the blame on her cause if he is my hubby he will try to stick up for her .

    I am married to her oldest and favourite son so i get lotf oh those comments . at first i would be quiet and try to please her but heck she was never satisfied . she isnt even in the same state so she calls soso so  often . sometimes she even do it regarding her son . have you guys had dinner yet ?or what did you guys eat today . for christ sakes we are adults

Answer 8

OMG i hate how my MIL talks to me via my daughter!! she'll say "your mummy is glaring at me!" in this frigging condescending voice and it drives me up the wall. I tried to confront the situation and it blew up in my face. I don't know many people that get along with their MIL.

I completely understand where you are coming from, and to this day am unsure on how this will ever end. Good luck hon, i think you'll need it!

Answer 9

She sounds like a passive aggressive cow.

Either way, it should be your partner who deals with this and not you. She is his mother. Tell him how upset you are about her comments and let him sort it out with her.  

Answer 10

Babies should be wearing whatever you are plus 1 layer.

Tell your MIL that you are following the advice of your child's doctor, but that you will bring up your MIL's concerns at her next appointment.

Doctors trump MILs, so it should shut her up.

Other than that, just remember, she's really only trying to help by sharing her opinions based on her experiences, which might be wrong, but how would you feel if in 30 years, someone told you that everything you did as a mother was wrong.

Try to keep your cool, and enjoy your new baby! Congratulations!  

Answer 11

mils, mothers, grandmothers...the way their generation raised us is completely different now and most of them (not all) can't accept it. my family was the same way and i politely told them "i feed her, change her, and love her- and that's all you need to be concerned with".  

Answer 12

Next time:

"Tell your grandmother to mind her own &*^%ing business."

Oh, come on - you know you want to. :)