Why does staring have such an impact on me?

Question

Someone whose a bully to me stares at me when she knows it makes me uncomfortable, sometimes with a grin on her face. I know she does it to make me feel intimidated, threatened or violated depending on the situation. I heard that staring is something primitive and it's our nature to feel threatened by it. Please explain why it has such an uncomfortable effect on me so I can be more prepared when she does it?

Thank you for any help and info.

Answer 1

Bully gain their power by making others feel intimidated and all the others you mentioned.  When you are not intimidated you are not under her power.

First you choose not to be a victim.  You set a goal of overcoming the fears in yourself in order to stand strong in the face of the bully's attacks.

Second, recognize what fears you hold and face them.

Third, understand that you cannot change the bully you can change your reactions to her.

When you feel secure in yourself, you can completely over look the rude and childish stupidity of a bully.  It takes work and you'll benefit from the support of teachers, counselors and parents; however, it is so worth the work.  Bullies ruin our existence by stealing our joy, peace.  take steps not to let her steal yours.

Answer 2

You need to kill this with kindness or goofiness.  Give her a goofy picture of yourself, and sign it "just for you sweetie" and when she looks at you wink at her.   You can also smile and make the stupidest look you can;  she will either laugh or give you a goofy look back and it will also take her by surprise.  If that does not work, ask her if you have dirt on your face, do something that makes her feel like her staring does not intimidate you, be silly.  You can also try it the other way, stare her down until she looks away or let her catch you staring at her.  If you don't like those idea, just ignore her, she is trying to get a reaction out of you. I assume you are in class, if she continues to stare at you and you feel threatened you can always talk to your teacher about it and have her move you to where she has to turn around and it will be obvious and perhaps the teacher will tell her to turn around and it will embarrass her in front of the classroom.

Answer 3

dogs do it to make their prey feel intimidated.

she's a dog

Answer 4

It has an uncomfortable effect on you because you are probably intimidated in some way.

Next time she does it just flash a grin back. A very big noticeable grin.

Then look away and don't look back.

Don't let her intimidate you. Also, pending on your age, if it gets to be a big problem report her to your school. (If that is where this is taking place.)

Good luck.

Answer 5

It brings all of your being into focus...all of your faults, imperfections ( real or imagined ) you will\would  feel very fragile ,venerable,particularly if the one staring is not your friend and yourself perception is a little shaky ...try seeing Her as a very weak , pitiful character,see that She needs help ..practice this on someone else ...generate a feeling of sadness for Her...try not to stare back

Answer 6

people bully u becaue they noe tht u r scared..........pretend to be brave and not be affected .......and they will stop ........smile at them  

Answer 7

Smile back.

It'll catch her off guard. Most people aren't expecting a smile in return for a stare.

Answer 8

have a staring contest! duh

or give a glare back at her

Answer 9

Stare back. Grin back at her. Give her the same treatment she gives you. Keep telling yourself she doesn't intimidate you. Keep on doing it, and eventually, it'll work. ;) Believe me, I've been there.  

Answer 10

mayb cuz ur are shy and scared deep down inside.

or u have always been quiet all the time and are not used to eyes staring a you

just try to ignore it and focus on sumthing else

i hate that too, cuz i can see their pupils eyeing on mine2

Answer 11

ok your so threatened yes staring someone right in the eye is quite intimidating i mean if a big tall ripped person or something stares at me id be scared well my tip for you is to show confidence as in when they stare at you grin or something make it look like your not threatened surely this will stop them... if not thenjust dont look at them ^.^  

Answer 12

cuz ur crazy