Why does the idea of being submissive appeal to me?

Question

I mean, for some reason in my previous relationships I've always had the desire to be submissive to my man, it just turns me on giving him control over things. Can anyone relate?

Answer 1

I feel like that also but only to someone who I am fiercely attracted to and who arouses that desire naturally in me. There are SOO MANY men who would never make me feel that way. Italian men are conduits of God for inducing my submissive side I am afraid

Answer 2

I think that you like to have a man who has a sense of control over his life, because then you don't feel lost in your own life when you're with him. You give him the wheel so to speak. That doesn't mean that he should be domineering or controlling, but rather that he is someone that you turn to when you're not sure of what to do. A lot of women feel that way. That's why it's important to choose a quality man to lead you and not a tyrant or a destructive man.

Answer 3

It appeals to me as well, I believe the reason it appeals to me is because I am a female, and that is the role that God has provided for me to play.

Answer 4

Sure, I can relate.  But it just means that that is your sexual nature.  It doesn't mean that you're a submissive person.  I'm far from a submissive person in my everyday life but I love to be a sub in the bedroom.  That's just individual choices or desires.

One of these days I would love to see a study done on dominant women in the work force who are submissive in the bedroom and try to find out WHY this is.  I hear that it happens a lot.

Answer 5

Can't say that I do.  I do however know when to stand down..but at the same time... I never give up control.  We just do what needs to be done with different situations.

I like for my man to feel like a man.  He knows Im capable of doing things he can..but at the same time..I don't rub it in.  Gots to let my man show his goods..and show me how much of a man he is.  Then he knows that when the going gets tough..I could kick a$$ if needed be.  Not his of course...but I could take care of what needed to be done.

Answer 6

Yes. I can definitely relate. I feel that way with my boyfriend too. I don't want to be the dominant one because I don't like to feel like the man. Being a guy just paints a picture of strength and masculinity. When you act tough and in charge, it takes that away from the guy. Plus, I'd rather receive than give. lol.

Answer 7

I think it's because of the fact that you have a type of security by a man.

Answer 8

I've always felt that way myself, though the feeling was, until just a few years ago, more or less suppressed.  I regarded it as just a bedroom game.  Realising that I really wanted my husband to be in charge out of the bedroom as well as in and admitting it to him really helped to improve our relationship.

A pity we couldn't have sorted it out twenty years ago, but better late than never, eh?

And I totally disagree with the person who said it is about never taking responsibility for anything, that is not how it should work in a healthy relationship.  What it should do, and what it has done for us, is lead to more open communication and more understanding of each other, rather than less.

And it's true, as another comment says, that there are a lot of high-powered women who like to be submissive in the bedroom.  But there are also a lot of high-powered women who yearn to be submissive in their personal life, not just in the bedroom but out of it too.  There are loads of them on Taken In Hand.

Answer 9

i can't relate but if that's your preference there's nothing wrong with it.

Answer 10

I'm the same.

It's just an aspect of your sexuality, nothing to be worried or ashamed about.

Answer 11

Hi , my names Molly, and I can relate!  LOL  If you're anything like me, it feels completely natural. Besides, nothing makes a man more masculine than a feminine woman. HOT!

Answer 12

Being submissive is easy.  Effortless, in fact.  You never have to worry about being held accountable for anything that goes wrong, hahahaha...!

You don't even need to bother engaging your brain:  all you need to learn to say is "I don't know" or "whatever you say dear" or "its up to you", etc., etc.  Just a few key phrases and you're all set.  Remember,  the less thinking you do - especially out loud - the better.  But there comes a time when you're not happy with who you have become. You subjugate yourself, sacrifice yourself for the sake of a relationship that isn't even satisfying.  This alienation is a gradual process, how long the process takes varies between individuals.  I used to tune my ex out with "yayayayaya...".  It would just trail off.  It took him ages to catch on, one day a lightbulb turned on in his head: "heyyyy...???!"  

Anyway, when something happens you can bark to your significant other: "this is all YOUR fault!"

and you would be right 100% of the time!

Answer 13

Almost everyone-- male and female-- likes to be able to just take it easy and have someone else do the work every once in a while. It's a little bit thrilling, I think, to let go of responsibility and let someone take charge. I can definitely relate, and so can my boyfriend, lol.