Why doesn't my 12 month old not understand or fear falling - she will crawl right off a step?

Question

My 12 1/2 month old crawls all over the place like a girl on a mission, so that's great. I know she has decent depth perception, because she can pick up small things with some accuracy (Cheerios, etc.). However, I noticed yesterday that she was crawling form the kitchen into our living room and wasn't going to bother slowing down or stopping at the step we have going Down into the living room. I really feel that she would have just missed the step and taken a tumble onto the floor below. I mean she has tried to crawl up a step and fallen on her bottom before, so I know she has felt the effects of poor coordination - like when she pulls up on the couch, lets go and then falls on her rear end. And it's not just that step, I can see similar disregard for heights when I have her on our bed. I have to be right on the edge of the bed, playing goalie to make sure she doesn't crawl along the edge and fall off (not that I think a baby should be able to be left unattended, just that I would expect her to stop at the edge and turn to lower herself feet first). For a baby that doesn't know how to walk yet, am I expecting too much? Does anyone know when their baby started to recognize that they need to stop at a step or lower themselves off of higher surfaces? I would appreciate any information!

Oh - one last note: she is already in the Early On program for our school district (she had bad relux and was physically delayed since we couldn't give her tummy time until after 3 motnhs). She's a little slow on the language side, but otherwise they think she's doing well (they don't feel that she has autism or anything).

Answer 1

I'm guessing she's your first child.  Your concerns are perfectly natural and your daughters behavior is more than likely a learning process.  Unfortunately sometimes toddlers have to learn on their own.  I remember one time when my first born was just beginning to walk.  We had space heaters in the house and no matter how many times there was a brisk NO NO or picking her up and moving her....she had to learn it the hard way.  She was reaching for the heater one day...to pull herself up.  My wife was out of distance to "save her" so she hollard at my daughter.  My daughter reached for the heater anyway before my wife could get to her.  My daughter just looked at my wife while she reached for the heater.  She only got a very minor blister on her finger.  Very small...but after that she never got within 6 feet of our space heaters... ever again.  EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT!!!  She will learn.  Her "lack of fear" can be shaped into a good quality.   It can be used as a confidence builder for her.  It's not necessarily a bad thing.  There's pros and cons to every facet of behavior.  You sound like my wife was with our first one.  She wanted to protect her from everything.  I bet your a very good mother and trust me....she will learn.  This age is all about exploring and learning.  

I suggest security gates.  Especially if you have a second story or basement.  Just until she learns a fear of falling.  It will come with time and you will just have to do the best you can until it does.

Keep up the good work!

Answer 2

Yes you are expecting to much from her.  If you were to hold her up in the air with nothing around her she would feel the fear of heights.  But a step or a bed isn't high enough for her to understand or feel that fear.  She will learn as she goes along, so don't worry.  

Answer 3

if its just one step then let her fall once. she'll realize that it hurts and will learn the fear of falling

Answer 4

Different children experience different traits, such as fear, courage, social, things like that... not every child has the same trait, so it is normal to see a child doing something that you think is unusual.  Something might happen later on that will change the traits of a child... I used to be a shy, quiet child, and now I am hyper and outgoing.  My brother used to be the hyper maniac, but now he has calmed down. This normally happens from something that happened in their life.  Your child may not be afraid or experience fear yet, but it is possible that those results can change one day.

Answer 5

it's natural for you to be worried because she is your daughter but fear is a learned response and some kids learn it sooner then others. when my daughter was that age she would act the same way until one day when she was at her grandma's house and she hurt her self on the end of the coffee table she banged her head lesson learned she slowed down  her crawling and was more careful around table and stairs your daughter is just exploring her world and she will learn. I think you are expecting to much because she is only a baby she will learn eventually just give her time.

Answer 6

Fear is a learned response. As she gets hurt, and she will, she will learn to fear falling. But kids are very resilient and they heal very quickly, so don't worry about it, and let her fall a bit, she'll learn.

Answer 7

kids don't no that there's going 2 b a step there they just think everything is one level u have 2 b more patient with ur daughter evey time u see her near the step turn her legs around so she gos backwards she will soon learn this is how its done