Why doesn't my mom care ?

Question

i suffer with anorexia. Its not that bad, i'm still overweight, but i don't eat any more then 500 cals per day and when i do eat i get severely depressed. I finally had the courage last night to tell my mom about my problem and that its been going on for the past 4 years. she seemed very supportive. Or that's what i thought.. I really want help and my mom said that she would find me a therapist of some sort to help me through this. So I went to bed and this morning i asked her to please call around for me and she was like "I don't have time for this right now madi i have to call about your brothers dentist apt. and then I'm going to lunch with my friends" I just feel so hurt because i finally got the courage to tell someone and I'm so scared about getting help but I know its whats best.. i just feel so horrible now because my mom like doesn't even care! Also I asked her not to tell my dad because its very private and i don't want him knowing and she was like "sorry but I can't do that, I have to tell him" I just feel like she's not taking this seriously..? UGH help.

Answer 1

your mom might not think its really anorexia since you r still overweight. she might not feel its that important right now because she might not no it is affecting your health. has she seen you recently? and y cant you call around? you cant rely on your mom to do everything for you. it sounds like you r grown up and have your own place because i think she would have noticed b4 if you have not been eating

Answer 2

So what is stopping YOU from calling around?  YOU are the one with the eating disorder and if YOU want to get healthy YOU need to take the initiative and make the calls.  You're on line now obviously just google eating disorder therapists in your area and start calling.

Answer 3

yuo say you are overweight but how much do you weigh actually? It was probably a shock to your mom when you told her and that was her way of dealing with it at the time. Give her some time and see what happens. Until then, try not to be depressed and find something to occupy your time rather than worrying so much. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Madi,

Your Mom sounds like she is afraid to deal with this. That is unfortunate as you are the child and she is the adult. You should not be punished for what you are going through. Remember that anorexia is a disease, and you can fight it. Maybe it is not such a bad thing if your Dad finds out. Maybe he can offer you more strength than your Mom can. How they didn't see this for 4 years is truly ignorant of them. You seem like a smart girl and if your Mom or Dad won't make those calls for you, you can do it yourself. Hang in there sweetie, you are beautiful and maybe someday you will learn that food feeds the soul.  

Answer 5

she probably thinks your just being a hypochondriac, you need to bring it up with her again and see what happens the second time.  

Answer 6

Ok for the person that told you that you are not suffering from anorexia....wrong!!!!  Anorexics starve themselves, however, they do have to eat something.  I suffered from anorexia when I was a teenager and I did eat...just not much....which put me in the hospital!!!  If your mom is not taking this seriously....I know it is hard....but you really need to get help from somewhere.  Try a school counselor or one of your friends parents...someone that you feel safe speaking with.  Good luck and if you ever need someone to talk to, you can email me anytime.

Answer 7

So wait let me get this straight....You want help.....but you EXPECT your mom to get you the help just because you told and ask her? If you want help get it yourself ok? I know it sounds mean but your mom isn't going to be there forever so take care of yourself and your dad is family, he has a right to know. It's better that she tells him than one of her friends. If YOU want the help, then YOU get the help.  

Answer 8

I used to get mad when my mom would tell private things to my dad, but now that I am a little older, and have been in a serious relationship with a man, I get it. If my boyfriend and I had a child, I would never keep anything away from him. Your dad loves you, and they're a team. They have to be supportive of each other, to help support you! I understand you are upset but your mom probably made a mistake, she is supportive. Just try talking to her at a better time when she doesn't look so busy she was probably just overwhelmed!

Answer 9

Okay, first of all you do not suffer with anorexia if you are overweight and you are still eating. Anorexics don't eat anything, and they are severely underweight, usually have their ribs poking out.  

Well I think your mom was just a little stressed out today to deal with calling around for help for you.  Just ask her again tomorrow in a pleasant, kind, gentle voice... when she's not worrying about anything else.  Make sure she is calm,and make sure you are calm as well.  And I would explain to your mom, while asking about her calling around, that you really don't want your dad to know.  She should understand how you're feeling, since she's a mother.  If she tells your dad though, I think it's her way of coping with your condition... and I think that it actually shows that she cares about you and doesn't want you hurt.  Just don't get to mad with her, or your relationship will worsen and you don't want that.  

HoPe i CoUlD help!!! (:

Answer 10

I'm going to ask some questions and make some comments that I hope you will understand are not meant to be mean.

When you say that you are overweight, are you clinically overweight (as in 200lbs or more?) If so, are you certain it isn't muscle (muscle is heavier than fat.) If you are saying you are overweight and only weigh about 150lbs or less, you need to know and acknowledge that you are at a healthy weight. You also need to eat more than 500 calories a day. Just make healthier choices like juice instead of soda, frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, nut/fruit mixes instead of chips (assuming you aren't allergic to nuts, of course.)

Now you expressed concern regarding how your mother feels about this. I understand what it's like when a parent doesn't seem concerned (my father can be very apathetic.) The fact that your mother said she has to tell your father is proof that she cares. If she didn't, she wouldn't involve others. Her response the following day tells me that she is still shocked by your confession, and on top of other concerns such as your brother, she is now trying to figure out where to start so she can help you.

Now I must agree with some of the previous posts. If you are truly concerned with your problem, you will also try to help yourself. Speak to a school counsellor or visit a youth help organization where you can get information and guidance on where to find help. It will help both you and your parents, and help you learn how to find help in the future for other problems.

I hope that everything works out for you, and remember that there is more to being healthy and beautiful than being skin and bones.

Answer 11

tell here