Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

Question

no one would score

Answer 1

The gear they'd wear wouldn't comply with the new pad size regulations.

I think b******e's new rule is 38 inches tall, not 38 inches wide (per leg)

Ice would crack and melt. Stainless steel doesn't glide very well on concrete ditto vulcanised rubber.

As a visual: Imagine the PA announcer shout "What a FLAB save by Fat So"

Answer 2

Good one!

Here's one: Hire deaf people to help out at rock concerts!

Answer 3

lol Good question!!  I guess because they don't have enough money to pay him to compensate for his food budget or for transportation and meals while on the road!

Answer 4

becuase that would be embaressing, the only reason they were accepted to the team is becuase they were fat.  How the h**l is a fat person supposed to get to the bench for the extra attacker?

Answer 5

Thats what I wanna know,

Answer 6

what a stupid question.  Maybe he doenst like hockey?

Answer 7

Then he could just sit in front of the net without having to worry about the other team getting the puck in the net, and that would be boring.

Answer 8

Takes much more then that. Goalies have to move around, be athletic, drop to their knees and asses to stop pucks. If someone like Brett Hull were to fire a shot so fast, and the fat goalie would be knocked over after stopping it, you're gonna need a forklift to pick his Big Mac eating @ss up. Also, there are always openings, no large mass of flesh can cover every empty space, and snipers like Ilya Kovalchuk could easily find those opening and capitalize.

Answer 9

Because he would have a heart attack if he moved out of bed.  

Answer 10

Because it would take him a year to get to and from the bench. And it would take FOREVER to put on all the pads and stuff.

But lol, good question. Star for you!

Answer 11

their to fat to even move to get out of bed

Answer 12

He would actually be a terrible goalie. He wont be able to take up the entire goal, and wouldnt be able to block shots aimed for the holes he creates. How does that make sense? Plus, he wouldnt fit in hockey skates and his ankles would probably break.

Answer 13

because not everyone in the world is a complete idiot like you

think about it

if he was that fat, then how would he get pads that fit

or how would he be able to skate

even if he made it out there, it's my destiny to kill all obese people and therefore I would take my bull-pup sniper rifle and he'd never see another sunrise.

Answer 14

He is unable to stand or walk and is bedridden.  He wouldn't be able to get there.

Answer 15

lol

Answer 16

Nom Nom Nom...Because I am too busy eating...Nom Nom Nom

Answer 17

Well you would need someone at least 6' tall and 4 feet wide if they were to lie down and do it. And They probably wouldn't be able to lie there for an hour each period without moving. Also anyone big enough probably wouldn't have energy to leave there house

Answer 18

Because if they used a fat man as a goalie i think they would concider it as cheating!

Answer 19

lol idk lol

Answer 20

hahah are you the fattest man in the world....just wondering , your name makes me wonder!

Answer 21

You sir, are a genius.

Answer 22

Try getting some goalie pads on that guy!

NO THANKS!

Answer 23

because the ice would crack

Answer 24

yeah he might crack the ice  

Answer 25

Simple. The NHL has a minimum fitness requirement that the average person would never pass. The fattest man in the world is not likely to pass it either.

Answer 26

a super fat guy? You can barely get a super fat guy to move much less put him on skates and slide him into a hockey rink! And i also think it would sort of be cheating. nice idea though!  

Answer 27

he'd eat all the puks that come at him

Answer 28

becuase though he would take up most of the net, there would still be holes. all u have 2 do is deke and he cant move. plus i dont think he could stand up that long

Answer 29

The moment he steps on the ice he would loose energy.