Why don't parents teach their children proper respectful behavior?

Question

Last night the 2 neighbor kids, ages 10 and 8, came over, invited themselves in and wanted to play Boggle. So I played with them and the older one started taking the Lord's name in vain. I don't care what he does outside my apartment, but I have rules of conduct inside of mine. When I asked him to stop both kids laughed at me. He kept calling his sister stupid, and I asked him not to do that, another word I don't allow. On the third warning I sent them back outside. It was after 8:30, so probably almost their bedtime anyway. When I was a kid I would never have just barged into another adults home, and I certainly would not disobey any of their rules once made aware of them.

Is it acceptable for kids to behave this way?

Answer 1

Most kids behave that way because they were never taught.  It is acceptable in their home for them to talk like that so therefore they think it's ok to talk like that elsewhere.

Answer 2

Not at all.  The was they were talking is wrong.  I have a child like this in my neighborhood as well.  He is very disrespectful and I have finally told my son he isn't allowed to play with him anymore.  I wouldn't want my child to behave liek that and if they did there would be severe consiquences.

Answer 3

no if there in your house they need to respect your wish

Answer 4

No I dont think its acceptable either, but you have clearly been taught to respect God and your elders and to speak politely to others. These kids have clearly NOT received any such guidance...probably because their parents received poor parenting themselves. If you have any kids i would just explain to them that "some children havent been taught the right way to behave, so they dont know any better" and to try to accept them but not imitate their behaviour.

a) i think how you handled the situation was good

b) except for the part about separating church and state, i agree with cutetrio

Answer 5

I agree with the other posters, especially a lot of the statements made by Cute.  It is definitely NOT acceptable for kids to act this way.  Certainly not MY kids.  We may not go to church as often as others, but respect is a moral and value that is extremely enforced in our home!  There are so many outside influences like television and peers that make younger children believe it is ok to act this way.  Most of their parents are not nipping it in the bud when it starts, so they continue to act that way around others.

I think it's wonderful that despite their "barging" into your home uninvited, you took the time to spend some quality time with them.  It's rather obvious they are missing out on that somewhere.  You stood up for your beliefs and morals and rules in your household.  You gave them warnings and followed through by sending them on their merry way when they chose not to respect you or your rules.  Laughing at you was another sign of disrespect and they should consider themselves lucky you let that slide and gave them another chance.  Great job on your part!!!

It's sad that more parents out there do not teach their children respect for self and others.  Unfortunately they are the parents who were most likely disrespected or disrespectful themselves growing up and the cycle repeats itself with their future generations.

At least there are still plenty of us out there who will not tolerate this type of behavior.  While I usually have a constant struggle on my hands encouraging and teaching positive behavior  and respect to my children, I know that somewhere down the line it will "click" or "set in" and all of my efforts will be appreciated, if not now, then in the future.  I live by the "treat other people the way you would like to be treated" mantra, and continue to practice what I preach when teaching my kids and will correct them when they choose not to do so.  

Kudos to you and all the others who refuse to expect less and will stand up and say something when treated with disrespect!!!

Answer 6

I think that you need to modify your question to ask: "Why don't my neighbors teach their children proper respectful behavior?"  Just because those two children don't know how to be polite doesn't mean that all parents are neglecting that lesson in their child's life.

Answer 7

If you allowed the children to "barge in" on you, then you bear the responsibility for this behavior.  You are teaching the kids that barging in uninvited is acceptable behavior.

Don't blame the children for the fact that you communicate such behavior is acceptable.

It is not in any way rude to ask a guest who violates your house rules to leave.  On the contrary, it shows your guests that you (1) have standards and (2) are not a doormat.

As long as you worry about being "rude" for having rules that must be followed within your home, you will have problems - with kids and adults.

Answer 8

no its not. did their parents know were they where at in the first pace

Answer 9

I totally DO NOT agree with this one!!!  I have an 8 yr. old daughter and when some of her friends come over, lets stay after school to play the Webkidz on the computer. Just minutes into the game I'm listening where I'm not noticed and all I here is potty mouth and using they name of the Lord in vain too.

In order to show people and their sibbling around them respect, they first must be taught and also shown by having it lived in the home as well as your own. You may want to start by saying something to the parents. And let them know what is and what isn't aloud in YOUR home. Wishing you the best of luck!! Good Luck, kids may listen better than the parents, but altleast you gaver your best try!

Answer 10

Unfortunately that seems to be the trend. I believe it started when this country did three things: we separated church and state, we decided to stop disciplining children and started "reasoning" with them and we decided that having it all was more important then spending time with our kids. Children need discipline and it needs to be more than a time out and a talking to. If you have no real consequences for your actions of course you are going to misbehave. People also seem to think that letting their kids "be themselves" is they way to go. Let's not teach them manners, they should be able to express themselves and explore who they are without boundries.  And if parents don't take the time to be with their kids and teach them right from wrong they are going to be more vunerable to outside influences. Lastly, I think we have gotten away from the life lessons that a foundation in spirituality brings. I respect the right to worship however you see fit, just do it! Christian, Jewish or whatever, most religions have good firm teachings about what is right and wrong and how to treat others. Just worship with your kids and let them know there is a higher power that they have to answer to. Now some kids don't get that anywhere, at home or at school. It's sad, I'm afraid what the next generation is going to bring. I spend time with my kids, take them to church and spank their fannies if I think it's needed. They are well behaved, respectful and loving.