Why don't people ever treat you the way you treat them?

Question

I am having a hard time with my best friend lately. I always go above and beyond for her. Everytime she is going through something I am there for her and sacrifice my needs to take care of her. And when it comes to me and my feelings she could care less. She gets very defensive with me and is like oh well, I am grown its my life, I don't get it. Basically wanting me to get over stuff. I don't understand it. i would never treat her that way. What do I do about this? Change who I am? But I am genuinely a nice and caring person by nature

Answer 1

u have nothing 2 change its ur friend that needs 2 change u sound like an awesome person n i would love 2 have a friend like u!! oh 1 thing u should change is ur friend

Answer 2

Life is like that....

You r not alone ,

me too

in the same camp

Answer 3

I think I might have been like that. Then I understood I shouldn't treat my friends like trash because they really care about me and are always there. I'll tell you why she acts like that, she thinks it's all about her. Tell her that you two can't be friends unless she get her act to get and starts treating you like a friend. You don't need her, sounds like you can find different, better friends

Answer 4

Basically, there are givers and users in this life. Unfortunately, the users are excellent at finding the givers and taking advantage of their good nature.

You need to remind this "friend" of all of the times that you have held her hand when she needed it and tell her that, when you are hurting you want the same sympathetic response. If she tells you you're wrong, it doesn't happen that way, or you should just get over it, you need to find a new best friend. This one is using you.

.

Answer 5

I know how you feel. I'm in a similar position as well but I'm trying to move on. Has your best friend always been like this? Is she the kind of girl that wants to be popular? If your best friend isn't always like this ask her what's up. If she is always like this and not helping you, she's just using you for her own benefit. If she doesn't want to listen to how you feel but you listen to how she feels it's only a one way friendship. Try finding more friends you treat you the same way. You don't have to change who you are. With your best friend reduce your niceness to her. Don't feel guilty about it, if she isn't helping you then why should you. You're the bigger person, you help her whenever she needs it but she doesn't. You don't deserve to be treated like this.  

Answer 6

Well she is right in a way, if you're grown, you need to toughen up and take things in stride. I understand everyone gets upset, but when you're older, friends have their own lives to worry about. On the other hand, she doesn't deserve you pampering her when she's upset either.

Answer 7

i thought i was the only one to feel this way right now. im having the same issue but with the opposite s*x. me and my ex aggreed to work things out slowly but i feel how you feel. why do i give 100 and get only 7 back

i dont feel like im askin for much

nothing financial. just to know i matter in his world and i cant even get that. why is it so hard to let go  

Answer 8

dont change urself for others vho care least 4 u.  try to make her understand ur value....move back from her a little....she vil come to u .