Why don't some parents understand this your child not theirs and you will do things your way?

Question

I see it on here time and time again pushy mother in law or mothers. I have it on both sides myself and in my life my dads mom was not pushy but my moms mom did tell my mom a few times that what she was doing was wrong. You raised your kids now let it go. Advice is one thing but telling and trying to force your views is something else

I hope i am not like that when my kids have kids

Answer 1

Some people with a lot of good intentions try to "help" by telling you how to raise your children, thinking that what worked for them will work for you. Others are just pushy. What they don't realize is that their children are way different than your children, and the old ways don't work the same now. And yet, there are some grandmas who seem to think that nobody can raise kids right but them.

Lucky for you that you don't have single, childless people telling you what to do with your kids.

Answer 2

I ran into this some with my mother (I was a teenager when my oldest was born), but from the beginning my mother in law always respected the boundaries.  

I think it almost has more to do with how easy a mother(in law) recognizes that her son/daughter is an adult.  Some parents have a hard time with that.  

Now, I've got great relationships with both my mother and my mother in law.  With Mom, it took time, as well as setting and maintaining the boundaries.  

Though sometimes I STILL don't think she sees "her baby" as a grown-up.

Answer 3

You will be.

Parenting has changed, the way we were parented, our parents were and so forth, people are just set in their ways and ours ways are different.

How things were done back then isn't how things are done now, most of those people are just trying to help though it seems very pushy.

Being a parents means people will always try to change how you do things and as long as you believe what you are doing is right, it shouldn't get to you.

You never know, you might do it to your kids if you see them doing something we've been told not to.

Like with the oatmeal in a bottle, my grandma gave that to my 6 month old and said she shouldn't be using a bottle at all, she should only be eating solids and nothing else.

Back when she had kids, that was a norm, today we know its potentially harmful.

Answer 4

Sometimes I feel like parents mean well.  But certain things that worked for them may not work for you or your child.  Others, I believe, do it to try and possibly do it right the second time.  Meaning they may feel a sense of guilt that they weren't always there or feel shame for causing some sort of pain that they either did consciously or unconsciously.  And maybe if they seem something resembling the beginning of a mistake, they may try to stop it before it begins.  Then there are those that try to overcompensate for being or feeling inadequate as a parent themselves.  So they either coddle or punish excessively without even knowing they're doing it.