Why don't we have s*x anymore?

Question

My fiance & I have been together for 5 yrs. now. We have a wonderful loving relationship, & we used to have lots of great s*x. Well since the birth of our baby 9 months ago our s*x life has totally diminished. I just don't get it, we used to be inseperable!! It's not like we're too tired or anything, the baby is over that hump of crazy sleeping patterns. The worst thing is that it's mostly my fiance. If it were up to me we'd still be doing it like we were 5 years ago!! Has this happened to anyone else? Guys, can any of you tell me what he's thinking?

PS- Our relationship is as strong as ever & we are still totally in love.

So that can't be the reason.

Answer 1

Thats probably cuz you got frumpy?

Just a guess.

Answer 2

We had a friend where the husband didn't want to "go there" for almost a year.. some guys freak about the idea.. some are afraid of getting preg again.. then, there are others that have to almost beg for it.. everyone's different..

Answer 3

I have the opposite problem you do. Wife has no drive. I can't really say. My wife jsut made a good point about it about 15 minutes ago, maybe it's because you two havn't had time to your indavidual interests. You spend every waking moment together and there for there is nothing to "bring to the table" (as she put it) like there used to be.

Answer 4

Well talk to him and ask him was going on that you feel bad.

Answer 5

Maybe he is just stressed and exhausted. That was my cause. Waking up middle of night ( sometimes several times)  and taking care of our baby was for me stressful on top of full time job.

Answer 6

If you had the baby natraul I heard that guys tend to think that it is all just stretched out ooey gooey mess down there.  I had to get a c-section and my guy said he was glad I had to get one.

Answer 7

Did you get fat?

Answer 8

Maybe watching that 7 pound lizard slide out of you totally freaked him out- ever think of that?!

Answer 9

Think like a guy for a minute.  5 years ago, you were a lot hotter, now you've got stretch marks, packed on some pounds from a baby that he probably wasn't planning on.  In his mind the lack of s*x is the only form of birth control he can depend on, especially if the first kid was an "accident".  

Answer 10

Why are you asking us...when you should be asking him?

Answer 11

Guys can sometimes change once a baby is born.  They don't see you as just the s*x kitten but also as someone's mother.  Plus they go from being number one in your life to having another being to compete with, so to speak.  It happens in a lot of relationships.  

Make sure you schedule enough alone time with just the two of you. Get a sitter so there won't be any distractions.  This is something you should continue to do on a regular basis.  And spend as much time as you did before with "setting the stage."

Thinking about s*x can increase the desire.  The anticipation.  Leave him a naughty note in the morning where he'll see it before work.  Send a text during the day.  Slip notes in code that only you two understand (in case someone else leans over to read them).  If you can, make a short call during the day saying you can't wait for tonight.  

Think of things that may spice it up a bit. Tell him you read about a new position you want to try or something like that.  And make sure he's not too tired or stressed out as well.  It's great that you recognize the situation and want to do something about it!  

Answer 12

Thing will get better soon. Try to talk things over with him.

Answer 13

Is it "Insensitive Day" and no one told me?  It's not about whether she got fat or not!  Unreal.  There's a problem here if two people are not intimate.  Something is wrong within the relationship.  It's not about how fat someone is or if they have stretch marks.  Geez.

Answer 14

Some guys put up kind of a mental block before they get married that mothers are off-limits.  Sometimes that block stays in place even after they have children.  What you need to do is show him that you're still "in play" as it were.  Seduce him, be as romantic or S****y as you want, go to extremes to turn him on.  Attack!!!

Answer 15

Did you put on the pounds, neglect him, or stopped being the pre-baby hottie?  Have faith in yourself and your marriage, keep positive and work on the small things?  This dilemma seems too big to tackle all together and needs small improvements.  hang in there.

Answer 16

Well, honey, he has had house cleaner, cook, maid, extra income & s*x without any commitment. Now there is a object (baby) from his non committed s*x, he does not have the desire anymore,,,like the "fun" or "free" s*x is over,,,should have gotten married first,,,,

Answer 17

I dont know what the answer would be, but some men just dont need as much s*x anymore once they are happy and comfrtable. I am saying this b/c i am married for 5 yrs and have two kids. I am more into s*x then my hubby, but just liek you, we are totally happy in love and enjoy being together, but hes not really the horny type any more. we do have s*x, but not like crazy. i  guess w/ two kids you get kinda tired lol....

Answer 18

if u and ur hubby are young u should start checkin up how hes gettin' satisfied...cuz men dont go a long time without s*x....be the detective..it sounds fishy