Why don't women want to sign prenuptial agreements?

Question

A hypothetical question for the women:

Suppose you're in love with a man and the two of you are considering marriage. As you're getting close to committing, he tells you that he'd like you to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. The agreement states:

1. If the marriage results in children, he will stay home to care for them or take a lesser career move to be more free to care for them.

2. You (the wife) will be primarily financially responsible for the support of the family - even if he's working.

3. If the marriage ends in divorce, he will retain custody of the children. You may see them four days per month.

4. You will pay him (at least) 40% of your take home pay every month if the marriage results in divorce. This amount will be set as a dollar amount and will remain in effect regardless of any change in your personal financial circumstances.

Would you sign that, or would you judge that to be a bad deal? Because basically, ALL men in the Western world are signing that pre-nup when they get married.

Answer 1

AMEN!!! Finally, someone who understands. Men in this country get made a fool of by gold diggers and the courts in this country.

A woman would never sign that because it renders their ability to whine to the court and get alimoney, child support, etc from the man.

I agree 100%. It just goes to prove that the courts pretty much ALWAYS side with the woman in the situation, it's sick.

Answer 2

Because a prenupt ruins their plans of taking a guy to the cleaners if it doesn't work out! The TRUTH!!

Answer 3

I dont agree with pre-nups cause its like saying you expecting to divorce and have no trust in the other person.

Neither my husband or i had anything when we got married so there was no reason to have one and neither one of us would have signed 1 anyways   if the other had money cause we were not that negative to think of divorce when just getting married.

Answer 4

I would sign a prenuptial agreement, but he would also have to agree to some of my terms.  I would not sign that agreement above however because it is very unrealistic. I think that things should be equal and just like a man doesn't want to be taken through the ringer in a divorce neither does a woman.  I think that women aren't particular on signing prenuptial agreements because it is like setting yourself up for failure.  It also makes us feel like you as a future spouse don't trust us and plans on leaving the marriage in some other way than death.  I think that most of the time these agreements are just another way for men to cover their a#$ after doing wrong.  Using this prenuptial agreement that you created honestly think about how fair this is.  A woman is sooooo in love with her future husband that she signs this agreement thinking that they will never part.  Years later they have three children.  She is still adhering to the prenup and being the perfect wife.  The husband has an affair and ask for a divorce so he can be with the other women.  Because she signed this agreement the wife loses custody of her children, even though her body was hijacked and she carried them each nine months. Then on top of that she gives him almost half of what she's making aaaannnddd has to pay child support while another  woman sleeps with her husband and raises her children.  Come on really take a second .... think about it....

Answer 5

Is this a marriage or a business transaction. I would never sign a pre-nup and would never ask anyone else to. And I would never give up my kids or agree to be the breadwinner. Its a partnership- that's equal. And If the guys isn't willing to do that he can take a hike!

Answer 6

I wouldn't sign that, nor would I expect my husband to sign such a thing. My husband and I didn't bother with a pre-nup, because we married young when we both had nothing. But I have 2 friends who just got married, and they both signed a pre-nup pretty much saying, "Anything you put in, you get back, no alimony." That sounds fair to me. And, if my hubby and I divorce (God Forbid!), I'd hope we could just do that too. I don't need his money, and he doesn't need mine.

As for the kid thing, that's pretty lame. I'm a fan of 50/50 custody agreement. But, we aren't having kids, so I really don't care.

Answer 7

ALL men, really?  I always thought that since I have a Master's degree and he has an Associates, since I earn five times what he does, since I work full-time and he works part-time, that he would be the one taking care of the children and I would be the one paying child support if we got a divorce.  I had no idea I was getting such a great deal from being married.  Thanks for letting me know. :-)

Answer 8

The answer is NO. Sounds like a business arrangement rather than a marriage. The man is a Scumbag and a woman who would sign that a Dumb Jackass.

Answer 9

I am not at all against pre nups- my fiancee and I already have one.

1 is fine, we have agreed the same thing anyway

2 no way jose if he is working its a 50/50 split

3 no way jose it will be whatever the children chose if they are old enough otherwise it will be a joint custody arrangement til they are old enough to decide

4 no way full stop.

Answer 10

Well, the prenup actually makes  you think of an insurance policy and a commitment shouldn't have a need for that kind of insurance policy!

As for your idiocy, as a woman I'm offended that you think I would give up my career to shoot out some crotch droppings and expect my husband to be financially responsible for me regardless of my status as an adult. The custody thing is c**p, most divorces end with shared custody agreements and parents tend to see their children a lot more these days. The bias towards mothers is lessening. As for the 40% pay c**p, well if you marry a wife who has no professional drive or any desire to be a responsible role model for your children and actually have a career, then you may be paying up a lot of spousal and child support, but if you were smart you'd marry a woman who earns close to what you do, if not more and shows your children, if you two choose to have them (and not all women want them), what a strong and responsible woman is like rather than some silly stay at home type. If you marry a leech, don't complain when you're running low on blood. Guess what too? If a woman was financially supporting her husband and they were to divorce, he would be getting spousal support. It is a dollars and cents thing, not a gender thing. Don't marry a loser.

Answer 11

sounds like you need a partner.. not a wife....lol

maybe its good for you to get maid instead...

BTW, if I know a guy like that.. and tell me about this agreement.. I will walk away ..

Answer 12

I guess you had better not get married then. Women give up a lot for marriage. Most women still do the majority of the housework, grocery shopping,cooking, then many still work outside the home as well. If children are conceived, she carries them in her body, with them pushing on all of her internal organs, then births them, by the way if she breastfed

eds add in all of that, she stays exhausted , meanwhile the man starts whining that he is not getting enough attention. If she has been a supportive loving, wife then he should be grateful to have her be his help mate instead of wondering why it costs $ to run a household.

Answer 13

Thats not realistic because men do not bear the children, nor do most men WANT the responsiblity of caring for the children primarily, most would prefer to work, and men usually make a bigger income than women in the exact same line of work for whatever reason. So this is not really a prenup that makes any sense at all.  

Answer 14

Well, let's see....he quit working when our daughter was 6 months old and never held another job until he re-joined the military 2 years later. He didn't bother to figure out if we could manage on one income, or even discuss it..he quit.  

Not only wasn't he even contributing to the household in child care of house work, but he wasn't even financially contributing to his own support...oh...wait...he didn't think he should even do his OWN laundry.

The only reason he didn't get spousal support was he decided to go back in the military...at which point I was supposed to give up a job which paid twice as much, and move to some god-awful Army base.  I think not.  Oh..and I could always get a job working in the base store at minimum wage....lucky me.

However, I couldn't divorce him in the state we lived in, because I could have NEVER left the state with the minor child.  So, I got to leave a great job, and move somewhere without that stupid rule.

And child support...let's see...I asked for none, the state required me to take the minimum amount...$200 a month...which he didn't pay for 7 of the first 8 years.  The only reason he started paying was because the state went after him for it all.  

So, you'll excuse me if your little "oh the poor men..they get such a raw deal"  doesn't impress me.  The women I know never got this "great deal" that you like to spout on about.  Mostly they ended up struggling trying to raise children on their own, doing everything, and you know what...they did it well...

Now, to be fair, I've known some men who seriously got screwed by a divorce.  Of course, I've known women who've gotten seriously screwed in the divorce.  Mostly..it's the kids who suffer.  

IN your case, I'd recommend NOT getting married.  I'm at least smart enough to know ALL men aren't like the one I got rid of.