Why don't you want children?

Question

My husband and I have been talking lately about having children. I can't imagine life without them, and he has no desire to partake saying that not everyone wants to have children. I wanted to ask the general public what you think the pros and cons of having children are. I'm just curious to hear what you all have to say- Thanks!

Answer 1

i can't really imagine a pro, because the pro's are usually some sense of satisfaction that people who want children get.  i don't want children because i don't see a compelling reason TO have them.  i feel about kids the same way i feel about dogs and cats.  i actually like cats.  but i much rather have the freedom not having a cat offers; vacations without worrying about were to put the cat, having to feed the cat, change it's litter.  worrying about the cat when it sneaks out of the house.  knowing cats usually don't live past 7-13 years and it will die soon, having to play with the cat, pet it even when i don't want to, etc.

children are extremely selfish needy creatures by nature.  if you're the type who likes being depended on i imagine nothing can be greater.  but if you like independence and hate the feeling that if you're gone nothing can get done then having kids isn't so great.

*edit:  also am happy with just the two of us/ my husband and i.  don't really want a third wheel.  never hear about a child making a marriage happier, people usually are just as happy or less happy when the stress of a child it entered into a relationship.

Answer 2

I don't want kids because I really have no tolerance for them. Having kids is not one of my life accomplishments.

My dating pool is pretty shallow. I don't date girls who has or wants kids, of if they're undecided. I only date 100% childfree women.

I have no opinion of pros and cons.

Answer 3

its all good

Answer 4

To me the biggest con is when you yourself grow old. You will miss children graduating, getting married, having grandchildren. To me having a child is the best experience I've ever had in my life!! I have a one year old and I'd love to have 3 more. Children are a blessing and enrich your life! My daughter makes my husband and I laugh everyday. Now that we have her, we can't imagine life without her!

Answer 5

pros -- the big picture:  a chance to nuture and care for someone other than yourself and experience love at a level you've never felt before

cons -- the day-to-day things:  expense, lack of time to yourself, messy house, tantrums, whining, diapers, etc.

the pros far far far outweigh the cons for me.  but i can see that it might not be that way for everyone.

Answer 6

Pros: Caring for them, watching them grow (inside the womb and outside), seeing them smile, hearing them say your name, feeling them kick at the touch of your hand (while pregnant), seeing their faces light up at the sight of you.

Cons: I had my kids young so I didn't get to go to college, you have to give up time for yourself, it's more expensive, the crying, the late nights.

The pros far out weigh the cons for me and I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in the world.

Answer 7

First of all, that was a conversation you should have had with your husband before marrying. However, most of the people I know who don't have children, don't have them because of infertility and either do not want to adopt or are unable to adopt.

My sister chose not to have children because she is bipolar.  Not only would a child have a higher chance of inheriting the disorder, assuming it is inherited, but she has been through several hospitalizations and continues to have problems that would have made it difficult, if not impossible, to raise children in a healthy manner.  

My soon to be BIL chose not to have children because he chose his career.  The two were pretty much mutually exclusive.  He is marrying a gal who also does not want children because it would interfere with her career (she's a medical specialist).  

I have two friends who never wanted children because they didn't want the responsibility.  They adore their nieces and nephews, spoil them, and then give them back to their parents.  They participate substantially in the community and prefer that far more than a home life.  I guess if you want to remain a party person, maybe that's a good idea to not have kids.

My one scrapbooking friend lost all 3 of her children during their infancy and then had her tubes tied because she couldn't go through it again. They have chosen not to adopt.