Why dues my 4 year old listen to her Dad and not me?

Question

My 4 year old Daughter listens to her Dad when ever he tells her to do something I tell her to do something she wont listen to me when its bed time she has her Routine at bed time take a bath brush her teeth puts on her pjs and we sit down and watch a movie then I read her a story give her a kiss say goodnight and tell her I love her tuck her in give her her thing to sleep with and some soft music but she will test me over and over again she comes out of her room and stands in the door way calls me says she needs to go to the bath room 5 min after she just went I also have a 4 month old baby and when I put my oldies down I need to put the baby down but cant because she wont let me I tried ignoring her when she calls and not talking to her and just garbing her by her arm and walking her to her room and leaving not saying a word but nothing works I take story away I try taking stuff away from her but It don't work but when DAD comes home he says go to bed she goes and no question ask

Answer 1

This could be due to a number of reasons. Most kids spend the majority of their time with their mothers during the day and tend to become quite ornery with their mother because they see them so much, especially if dad is the one at work all day long. Lots of kids also tend to see their fathers as a very authoritative figure in the house, if this is the case with your child, then they know that dads word is final. You should have your husband sit down and have a talk with your 4 year old and have him tell her that she needs to listen to her mommy just like she does her daddy.

Answer 2

Oedipus/Electra Complex.  Little girls are in love with their daddies/little boys are in love with their mommies. She'll grow out of it.

Also if you stay at home with her, she could be used to you and doesn't respect your authority as much as Dad who is not around as much.

Answer 3

maybe because she scared of her dad more than she's scared of you. ask your daughter if her dad has hit her b4 .

Answer 4

It is normal, if you are the one the is always with her she is going to test you more.  My little girl is the same way she will listen to her daddy and do what ever he says and i have to ask and ask.  Plus you have a new baby she may be acting out just because she knows that you are trying to take care of the baby.

Answer 5

Common/ Normal. Be consistent. Maybe she knows sometimes she can get away with certain tricks.

Answer 6

It sounds like you are a very patient person to set up such a caring bedtime routine.  If your daughter is 4, it is okay for you to tell her that you're feeling frustrated that she isn't going to bed like you've asked her to.  

When she tests you, try setting a reasonable consequence for her behavior -- once.  Then, follow through on what you said.  If you tell her good night and she gets out of bed, it is okay to say "No.  We've done your bedtime jobs.  It's time for sleep."

I have three children, and we do have times when they're hyped up or they talk to each other.  I will walk into the room (still dark) and say, "Okay.  I hear talking.  Now, who is ready for a consequence?"  Because my kids know I will follow through, I never even have to say what the consequence is.  (LOL, it's true though.)  They just adjust their behavior.

So, aside from the way she acts with her father, you need to establish the ground rules when she is with *you* and stick to them.

Good luck.  This can be really frustrating, but I'm sure it will work out for you.   :)

BTW, my kids are age 7, 5, and 2.

Answer 7

This is because since she sees you more, she knows how to test you. She is more "scared" of what will happen if she does not listen to your husband. Try getting your husband to talk to her. Get him to tell her that she needs to listen to her mom because that would be a big help as a big sister to the new baby. If just a talk does not work, get him to tell her that there will be consequences the next time that he hears that she did not listen to her mom, there will be consequences.

Best wishes and hope this helps!!!