Why has chivalry declined so rapidly?

Question

I was visiting some guys friends recently, and when they did things like open the door for me, I didn't even know how to react! I really liked it, but I'm not used to it. Please don't be offended guys, because I know some are still chivarlous, but it seems like most guys only do that kind of thing on first dates or when they want to impress you. I don't really expect chivarly these days, but I'm still so shocked when a guy will let me drag my huge things of luggage up 3 flights of stairs without offering to help.

Answer 1

feminazis. feminism is fine and it has its place, but girls have killed chivalry.  independence has its place but our society has taught that girls can handle themselves and should do so. guys should mind their own business and make way for the girls, blah  blah blah.  needless to say there are still guys left who will girls the way they should be treated, with respect.  I make my best effort to do the little things and the big things too for my girlfriend, and, in return, she accepts it like a lady.

Answer 2

this is whats wrong with girls like you.  They want to be EQUALS to men, yet they wanted to still be treated more than that.  I never open doors for my guy friends.  Why should i open a door for my girlfriend?  She iis perfectly capable of operating her arms herself. You want to be equals in the work place, yet you dont want to be drafted into a war.  when men try and treat you as equals, we are filed for sexual harrasment or called un-chivalrous.  Chivalry is dead, and women killed it.

Answer 3

Gender politics shifted seismically in the 1960s and 1970s, and were reframed by women as a conflict between the sexes. Middle Class women now in their 60s and 70s shaped the Political debate to engineered-out the systemic legal and cultural bias in favour of men.

The legal changes were accompanied by a body of Critical Theory about Gender. Theoretical Feminism critiqued and revoked the volatile, subtle, voluntary, interesting, culturally resonant, old-fashioned "contract" between men and women (encapsulated in "Chivalry").

The casualty of this Revolution was the interaction between the sexes, which was no longer mediated by any "contract". For 30 years, a Cold War existed between men and women. The generation of men who could not see a problem with the Status Quo are now old. Their sons (any man under 45) have been brought up by women who are a product of Feminism. Feminism is the new Staus Quo.

Chivalry was Pragmatic; the guaranteed level of protection by men, in return for a limit on the maximum level of achievement. "Women and Children first" was the gift from Powerful Men to Powerless Women. It was justified by extreme cases.

Feminism is Systematic; it is globally more fair, enabling, and liberating. "Men, Women, and Children Together" is gender neutral, which liberates Women. It is justified by normal cases.

Feminism guarantees that young, attractive, physically strong, educated, empowered Women in normal circumstances are not limited. Chivalry guaranteed that old, ugly, physically weak, ill-educated, powerless Women in extraordinary circumstances would be safe.

Unfortunately, men now lack a role. The culture (films, stories, etc.) gave boys role models who looked after Women. Our mothers taught us differently, being hostile to (our) Masculinity.

If (my) Masculinity is deemed wrong, and I am denied the outlet of caring for Women, how am I to contribute? While very vocal elsewhere, Feminist Critical Theory is silent on this issue.

Answer 4

because women gave up being lady like,

Answer 5

I think chivalry has declined because you have women more and more that are not willing to stand up for themselves and say I should be respected. Personally, I preach what I practice. However, I am also a more modern woman so I'll also hold the door for a male or offer to help with something. I just think it needs to go both ways.

Answer 6

look in the trash bin filled with bras, lol ;)

Answer 7

No, it hasn't but some women don't give them a chance to do so.

Answer 8

Well, between NOW, lawyers, and the media, I figured if you want to get in the car you can do it yourself.  And if you want to pack that much, you can certainly carry it.  

I miss chivalry too.  But I ran into too many women taking offense to it.  By the way, let's do lunch...you pay.

Yes...this is a bitter topic for me.

Response to poster's additional details:

I know a LOT of women who would disagree with your new statement.  Example: last Wednesday I told a lady my wife and I painted our master bedroom.  Her response was, "do you now call the 'mistress' bedroom?"

  The problem is, we can't diffrentiate between the feminazis and ladies like you...especially when most women (and I do mean most) can't make up their minds about what they want.  

The lines for chivalry have been erased...by women.  And they have not been replaced.  That's true for a lot of things today.  So, I understand your frustration; I'm frustrated too.  If you figure out a way to fix it, I'd love to hear your opinion.

Response to poster's additional additional details:

Ok...I'm on the same page with you now.  I think you're referring to that amazingly male trait known as being a jerk (that's my nice word for it).  I don't know what that's about.  At that point....seriously...you might just want to find an elevator...or another guy.  :)

Answer 9

Men often try too hard to please women, and part of that has meant to drop the old customs.  Believe it or not there are women out there, and especially back in the 70's, that hate what you call chivalry.  They hated it, so men stopped doing it.

Anyway, there could be reasons why someone's not helping you with your luggage.  I was in a car accident.  One day I saw some girls lugging luggage up a set of stairs in the apartment building I lived in.  They gave me this sort of look like I was worthless for not helping them.  They couldn't tell that my arm was screwed up, so they just assumed I wasn't being nice enough to them.

Answer 10

I think chivalry is OK as long as it's not done as a condescending kind of thing (like I need to do this for her or protect her because she's too weak or stupid to do it herself).  What I really think, though, is that chivalry is unnecessary as such because everybody ought to be doing things like holding doors for each other, regardless of s*x.  That's just called being polite and courteous.

I don't expect or want my husband to go and open my car door for me (unless I've got my hands full or something).  But if he's ahead of me when we get to a door, I expect him to hold the door for me.  If I'm there first, I hold it for him.

Unfortunately, in the past, women were "taken care of" because they were viewed as incapable of taking care of themselves.

Answer 11

Because parents aren't teaching their little boys to be polite. I wish guys were still chivalrous!