Why has my 9 year old son taken to lying and stealing all of a sudden?

Question

My 9 year old son has been taking things, from home, school and the local playcentre, but he swears blind he doesn't do it, even though i know he does! He took a pair of glasses from the school and i found them in his pocket, but he says he doesn't know how they got there!

He even blames other innocent children and doesn't care if he gets them in trouble.

I am at the end of my tether as i am a very honest person and do not condone stealing, i'm getting fed up returning everything.

Has anyone got any ideas what do do with him?

Answer 1

Usually a cry for attention more than anything..counseling would be a very good thing to try and get to the root cause..good luck!

Also HE needs to return things (With you going with him) Don't do this for him. This is his responsibility to right things, and this is a perfect age to learn this lesson in life. He needs to approach the ones he stole from, apologize and then eithe return or pay for the item.

Answer 2

Having fun, calling 4 attention, bad genes

Answer 3

Honey I don't know if this is the answer or not, but did you see on the news where the mother made her son hold a sign and they stood on the street together? The sign said he was stealing things. Things like this will only get worse if not taken care of now.

Answer 4

I would start using spanking all of a sudden.

Answer 5

I guess you don't remember going through puberty?

Answer 6

It sounds like a classic case of your child testing boundaries.  Children go through phases during various years to test how far they can push.  The key is to push back... HARD.  Always be consistent in your punishment and never be afraid to reward for good behaviour as well as punish for bad.

Answer 7

It's not abnormal, but a good way of dealing with this is having HIM return the objects, and HIM going to people and apologizing every time he lies. Let him suffer the consequences and let him learn that it's embarrassing. Pretty soon he should stop.

Answer 8

Attention!  He wants it from you or his dad.  You may not think so because your there, but that's not enough.

First: ground him, for real and take away the things he loves most.  Don't give them back for nothing, in tell he get his act right.  Kids can not go long with out there stuff.

Two: Hang out with him at home, read with him, do homework with him, play kick ball with him, don't let his friends come over to play with you guys.... Just you and him or dad.

Talk to him, don't yell... Ask him why he stole and listen!

He wants Attention!

Doing this for about a week or two, he will get his act together.....

Answer 9

Have there been any big changes in his life? Death in the family? Divorce? New school? A good friend moved away? A new adult in his life?

Before I started in too harshly with the iron rod I'd have him seen by a child psychologist. This sounds like acting out to me rather than any inherent character flaw.

Answer 10

Is there peer pressure? What kind of shows does he watch or music that he listens to? Maybe he's just looking for attention or wanting to be like someone at school or be mr. macho.

Hope this helps,

Would rather be deer hunting

Answer 11

This is not unusual for a 9 year old.  They have a lot of bad examples showing them the way.  Patiently teach him there is a higher standard.  Love and patience will work better than punishment.  Reward him when he is honest.

Answer 12

there's a legal gambling age I think.  they're also a legal drinking age.

Answer 13

I think he is wanting attention also, stress to him that when he turns 13 he can go to jail. my nephew has been getting into alot of trouble within the last 3 yrs and because of his age he basically gets away with it. he is now 13 and he knows he could go to jail and we haven't heard any trouble his bday was Feb 14.sounds like he also needs a lesson of hurting others feelings by lieing about him,also sounds like maybe older kids might be putting him up to things out side of home. if he hears you say you are tired of returning things this might just prolong the prob he might think you will leave him alone after a while .