Why has the word thick and average for women (body wise) has been under abuse?

Question

Musica you are too right and so funny!! The larger they are the thinner you are lol and smart, but I tried online dating...for three days but didn't like how they asked for my weight...something no guy would do face to face..that is rude even if the person was underweight. Me am healthy 5'10 and weigh 129 pounds but I still don't like how they ask how much you weigh.

Answer 1

no

Answer 2

Yes, there are people who aren't entirely honest about body build/weight in personals.  I've seen people claim to be only 150 lbs when it is clear they are at least 50 lbs over that...but who can blame them for not wanting to give up the digits or calling themselves average or thick or curvy rather than overweight, fat or obese?  

The dating game is one that can be very rough and competitive at times...if not downright injurious to one's soul and spirit...and people oftentimes feel that they have to win "by any means necessary."  So people can...and often do...downplay negative aspects of themselves and play up more positive in the hopes a potential date will think the positive beats out the negative.

We live in a society with such a skewed image of what is normal body wise, and no one likes to be rejected strictly because they are perceived as "too fat."  So maybe they feel they're left with no other choice when the labels tend to pigeonhole people?

What's really sad here is that no matter what the woman says she weighs... there will ALWAYS be some man who will reject her for it. Why? Because some of those men have this arbitrary idea of what a woman's ideal weight should be...and oftentimes the ideal has nothing to do with reality.  There are some who would label all the women in those pictures as "fat" or even "obese" because they're not thin or bony like some size 0 wearing Hollywood stars or an anorexic supermodel.

I once saw a personal ad where the man insisted that any woman he dates MUST be a Christian and weigh between 95 and 110 lbs...but no height was mentioned. How many 5'7" or taller women realistically weigh that little? Of course, he kept using terms like thin, slender, skinny all through the ad...it was clear he was paranoid of a larger sized woman answering.  His ad stayed up a very long time, too lol...

When I ran personals, I remember I had men asking me right off the bat how much I weighed? It was ridiculous and just plain rude!  I felt like saying to them well, what's the length of your dingaling and how much is in your bank account? The longer and bigger you say they are, the less I weigh..."  

I can remember one guy whose ad I answered about 10 years ago. He said he wanted a woman of color.  Turned out what he wanted was a skinny Filipino woman,not a larger sized black woman!  He stood me up on the date. Well, I decided to wait a week, and then I took a chance and I stopped by his business (he owned a fitness center) and I asked him why.  Not because I wanted him to date me, but I wanted to maybe learn something so I can use it for future personals because to be honest at that time, I wasn't having a lot of luck with the personals and I was perplexed and tired of wondering "what's wrong with me?"

Well, he told me that he had been having doubts because I was black, but when I mentioned my honest weight over the phone he said "it made it a lot easier to say no."  Even worse? He looked me up and down and said, "Well, now I see you're not all that fat...you're muscular and shapely. I can tell you work out but I really need a woman who is really fit and thin!"  Of all the insulting things huh?  

Well, it took three more years, and several more rejections of this sort,  but I finally found the right man who loves me just as I am...and we've been together now 7 years! The kicker? When I met him, I was actually heavier than when I was rejected by the fitness center guy lol.

So....in short, yes, I think using such euphamisms can be abused...but it's really not the fault of the larger sized women. It's the fault of society for forcing them into such a position because of size prejudice...and people who are waaaaay picky and put looks over everything else.

I think it's best to be upfront about your body size so you don't have to waste your time getting rejected by the haters and getting your feelings hurt.  I'm living proof that there really IS a lid for every pot!  However, some don't see it that way. Oh well...

Oh, and for the record, MEN also lie in their personal ads...and they often lie more than women do.  What do they lie about?  MARITAL STATUS, height, income,age and yes, sometimes weight.

Answer 3

With that definition, I would have to pick thick...but with my luck I know I would end up with just average.

Answer 4

YES I agree!!!! Thank God someone put this up! There are girls in my school who are obease and wear things that do not support their body structure. Miniskirts that are too short and too tight shirts. All the girls call me a stick when I'm only a 4/5! That's normal.America is now 75% obease. No wonder those words are abused. Obease these days is like being on bed-bound. At 600-900 pounds when really obease is being too heavy for your height.

Answer 5

Well in fairness they are on dating sites so they're hardly going to put themselves down as morbidly obese.

Answer 6

I agree with you!

It seems that in order to be politically correct these days people are coming up with new and inventive words to describe being overweight.

Also, since more and more people are overweight than were say 20 yrs. ago, I suppose being 30 lbs. overweight is "average" now.

Answer 7

yes! the word "curvy" nowadays now means someone that is chubby. it used to mean a woman that had big b***s, small waist, and curvy hips.

our clothes sizes are getting bigger too. a size 4 now would've been a size 12 back in the day. clothing companies give bigger clothes small sizes and have been doing so gradually because it's easier to sell. if you were normally a size 6 and went into a store and found size 4 pants you can fit into, wouldn't you feel good and get it?