Why hasn't he ever bought me a gift?

Question

My husband and I just had our 3 year anniversary and he never gets me a gift, at all. Once for xmas I took him to the store and picked out two gifts and he paid for them. He doesn't even buy a card. I know thats him and how nost guys are, but I bend over backwards to do something special for him EVERYDAY and I feel like I deserve something atleast on a special day. What do I do?

Answer 1

Tell him. And I mean why, it is important. Different people need different affirmations. Some see gifts as objects of desire and love. Some see actions as more important.

He just might have his blinders on. Sometimes you have to turn your spouses head to get them to see the obvious.

Answer 2

Did he buy you things before you married him?  If not then you need to either talk to your husband on the importance of buying you nice things for your special days or accept it like it is.  If he use to buy you things and then stopped I would still talk to him and tell him you feel so unloved and unappreciated.  He should be buying you nice things it doesn't have to be expensive but something that shows he thinks of you.

Answer 3

Honey; Join life! That's just the way some guys are; they don't think in terms of gifts like girls do.

Take him out tell him what you would like, and get him to buy it for you. It's about as much training as he will accept. Don't be mad, it his upbringing!

Answer 4

I would talk to him about it. He should try harder. I had a man that never bought me anything and I bought him stuff all the time eventually I was drained emotionally and I left him. Then I met the man who is now my husband and he buys me thoughtful gifts for holidays and if he goes to the grocery store he'll buy me my favourite candies. It's really only natural if you love someone. But maybe he does not see it that way and so, since you are married, I would just let him know how much it would mean to you.

Answer 5

Appreciate the special things he does do. Does he work hard, take care of his chores, keep the garage clean, plan for the future, change your oil? Maybe he's not the gift-giving type (he probably has no clue what to give you), but if he's the type who takes care of the family day in and day out, it's better than any gift money could ever buy.

And if he's not - what are you doing with the guy, anyway?

Answer 6

It's not how most guys are, your husband is a cold not such an affectionate person. I think he doesn't love you. He might be cheating and buying presents for the other woman

Answer 7

That's not how most guys are, sorry to tell you, you may have heard that generalization on TV or something but I don't think I know any man that would actually do that, it's not considerate or respectful to your partner. Have you ever confronted him about it??

Answer 8

Is he a good man? Does he take care of you? Is he protective of you?

If he isn't, then you've got a bum. Not much to do about it I'm afraid.

But if you have a good man, then you might want to try the following.

1. Talk it out with him. Don't get emotional and don't get demanding. Just ask him to reciprocate once in awhile and thank him if and when he does.

2. Go out and get a good couples book. Anything by Dr. Laura is fine. But becareful of some of the books out there.

3. Religious? Church couseling is one of the best rememdies for these situations. They actually have a stake in perservering the marriage and can help give advice and spiritual strength.

Do Not:

1. Whine complain nag b-i-t-c-h moan cry mope or reject.

2. Poison his name with all your family and friends.

3. Start withholding things to make him "get it". It won't work and just confuse and anger him.

This is the kind of issue that all marriages face at some point or another. So this is not a huge emergency. But it will grow if left unchecked.

So go talk to your husband and ask him his opinion. Don't expect an overnight change, but work side-by-side with him for gradual improvement.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

You do deserve better.  This may be hard to hear, but your husband is a D I C K !!

by the way, most men are NOT like that.

Answer 10

His a tight ***

Answer 11

That's not how most guys are -- please don't fool yourself into thinking that.. you deserve better.  Your husband needs to show you that he loves and adores you.  It's not necessarily about the money.  If I'm guessing right, you wouldn't care if he gave you something free -- went down the street and picked you some wildflowers on his way home, etc.  Am I right?

The best thing you can do is sit down with your husband, and tell him that you love him very much, but you feel dissatisfied with something in your relationship.  Explain to him that you're feeling like he doesn't care for you in the same way you care for him, because he's not showing you enough.  Tell him that you wish he'd make more of an effort to show you that he loved and adored you.  Tell him that you would feel a lot more special if he would pick you up a special gift once in awhile -- or at least on special occasions.  Tell him that it means a lot to you.  If he knows how important this is to you, I'm sure he will respond in a loving manner, and agree to show you how he really feels more often. :)

Good luck!

Answer 12

My husband is the same way but most of the time its because we dont have the money to spend. But we both know that we love each other enuff that we dont need to buy each other gifts, thats just how our relationship is. I tend to be the one who buys the gifts more often but when I do buy I dont buy something just for him, I buy something for the both of us, something that we both want and use and give it to him as a gift, to show my love for him. He has no problem with me doing this and it works out for the best for both of us. Gifts are not a priority for us, its the verbal and physical way we show each other love for each other. Some guys just dont buy gifts, either they dont like to shop or they just dont know what to buy. Its not the gift that counts, its the love you have between the two of you.

We've been married 2 years and hes never bought me a gift, only a card and Im perfectly happy with that. I tell him that he is my gift that I recieve everyday and the best gift I've ever recieved was having him come into my life.

Answer 13

You have to admit that some women would have a problem with a $2 - $5 gift.  He might just think that it's not worth the effort to buy such a gift, even though you would appreciate it.  He just might not recognize small items as being gifts.  You should let him know that you think it would be special and that anything he would give you would be very much appreciated.  

The only way to do this is to communicate with him.  He also might not have much confidence in his gift buying abilitites.  

Answer 14

He sounds like one of those men that doesn't like to 'bother' with it. They are usually self centered and selfish. They won't buy gifts for any holiday, anniversary or birthday. One of their favorite lines is, "I shouldn't have to buy you a gift to show that I love you." Funny thing is they don't usually show it in any other way either. Have you ever discussed it with him? Explain to him how much it means to you and that you feel you're missing out. Do you buy him gifts for holidays, birthday, anniversary's? It's only fair he comply if you do. If he refuses, you'll need to ask yourself if you're willing to accept that for the rest of your life.  

Answer 15

A point that far too few people understand is that, when a person has such a habit, and you marry them anyway, that choice to marry them is a choice to *accept* that behavior. To demand that a person you claim to love now change for you, is nuts.

You picked him. If getting presents was so important to you, then it would have been something that you would have made clear had to be there in any guy you considered for marriage.

Its bait & switch to accept a guy the way that he is, in getting married, and to then demand that he change. IOW, its fraudulent.