Why have I become so mellow?

Question

All right, a few years ago, maybe three or four I used to be a real hot-head. I'm 21 now, and now I seem to be really cool about things. I don't let people get to me like they used to. My Mom...she gets angry at people for the smallest things...or I think. For example:

Yesterday we were getting a salad at a Mcdonalds and I asked them if they could give me more dressing. They said that it would cost me an extra 20 cents. Of course, I wasn't planning on giving them 20 cents to pay for something you can usually get for free...like ketchup and mustard. So I just said, "Okay nevermind thank you." I took my salad and I drove off.

My Mom on the other hand seemed real pissed at them. I was like, "Hmmm, well it is kinda annoying." ........ long pause. Umm so yeah.

So what's this all about? I blow things off that people say to me. I got flamed on this one comment I made on a Youtube video. The guy said that I should go hang myself because I'm dummer that a guy with a beach umbrella. I found the reply amusing...but I didn't let it affect me.

So what? Big deal, people call you dumb, but it's nothing to get worked up over, especially in my case when I know I'm smart and I went through high school and got a 98 grade point average on all of my exams. 4.00 I think.

So are there other people out there like me? I'm not really around people that much anyway, but when I am...neeeeeeh. So what do you think?

Answer 1

I think you are doing the right thing. Some of us who learnt the wrong way from our parents just love to meet calm people like you. You are setting a good example. Everyone should be calm. It's stupid to not be.

But  it is infective. If one person panics everyone who goes near him panics. So you are sort of sane in a mad world. We have to be. And when one person is calm it also rubs off on others and helps them.

Like the answer from..Depp. It is not about caring about other's opinion actually. It is about caring about others. How they feel. I think that is nice. Nice in a world full of not nicers. But people are ignorant or foolish. Little drops of tolerance go a long way to help them. Keep it up.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you don't like confrontation much. You like to avoid these situations as much as possible. You actually care too much about what people think of you, there opinions mean more to you than your own.  It all starts with you though and not the other people around.I see that you could be comparing yourself with your mother all the while you are your own person. Work on accepting yourself for who you are, basically just being yourself.

Answer 3

I can totally relate.  My parents are both like ticking bombs.  Everything sets them off, and they're constantly yelling curses for the smallest things.  I used to be just as high tempered as them.

My mom, for example, gets furious when someone is walking to slow in front of her.  I'll just go around them or walk slower so they dont feel pressured to move to the side or walk faster.

Its weird, this year I've become a lot calmer.  Things other people do rarely bother me anymore.  I dont know why.  But I thought about it once, and just thought:  Why should I spend my life being angry?  Its not fun, and it looks stupid to get frustrated in public over insignificant things.  It's just easier, and a happier way to live, when I'm not worked up over anything.  I like to go out of my way to make others lives easier.  Like, when I'm crossing small streets with no traffic lights or cross walks, I'll go down the street and walk behind the line of cars so they dont have to wait for me to cross.  Maybe they're in a hurry, you know?

&& I try to smile at the people at Starbucks, and just relax as my coffee is made.  I mean, they take the time to smile at me, so why not smile back?  My mom gets insanely pissed off when it takes long to get her coffee, and she storms inside to get me.  Its a bit embarassing, actually.  I guess I dont want to be like her?

Its probably a bad thing that I try to live to please the rest of the world, and care too much about their opinions.  But its who I am.

I guess I just changed to make my life, and others lives, better.

Answer 4

then? thats a good thing...ur just more mature now, ya developed ur own personality different then others. some people just take things more seriously and get mad easily. i used to be the same way - i used to get mad over stupid things but now...well i just learned more bout life and got more mature, thas it

Answer 5

I think you have matured at a relatively young age.  Congratulations and keep in mind that some people never mature, so be prepared to meet some real morons as you go through life.