Why have I done this to myself?

Question

I have allowed myself to become depressed and addicted to comfort eating. I know weigh 17st and I am only 5"4. I am so angry and disgusted with myself yet I still carry on. I have always had problems with my body and how I look even when I was a size 10. I have always had horrible chunky legs with cankles and a fat bum that sticks out which I was bullied relentlessly for at school. I hate my body and always have. I know even if I lost weight I would still hate myself. I have stopped eating so much now and sometimes go 3 or four days without food and just drink water but a soon give in when I get too hungry. I have never looked normal, like everyone else looks. Clothes have always looked wrong on me and my family always tell me how gigantic my a!rse is. I get so angry I actually eat to punish myself. I just can't accept this body belongs to me I don't want it. I hate my body it's disgusting.

Answer 1

define normal?

Answer 2

hey, I know how you feel! I usta do that too. And I felt the same way, exactly, and I to have to been teased, bullied about my weight. And I'm telling you now starving yourself for that long doesn't help it makes it worse. What I did was go on a diet. Not those dumb ones. But a balenced one. I didn't allow snacks in my day (because then I wouldn't stop eating) and then I'd have at least one thing from each food group on my plate for dinner at least. And I always ate breakfast. It actually helps! and when you eat, take a break after like 5 bites then realize how "full" you are. then I'd make sure I did some sort of activity that I enjoyed and was a heavy kinda excersize. one example would be pilaties, I love it. Most importantly though.. you have to except your body, for what it is. If you lower your stress, body weight goes down too.  So don't make a huge deal about it, even if it is. Do you get what I'm saying? And don't trust scales, they'll make you feel worse. Muscle is said to be heavier then fat. You should measure how much weight you lost my the way your clothes fit. One last thing, don't excpect to lose tons of weight over night... or weeks. it takes work and dedication, but you can do it with disipline and determination. Just remember, Don't eat a lot, but have a balance, excersize(hard-core), and be happy with what you are. Depression I know for a fact don't help that at all, but all it's about it aditude. You can do it! (and for a punishment do push ups or something, thats what I did) I hope this works for you as good as it did me.  

Answer 3

If you would like to talk about this with someone who knows how you feel, you can email me directly @ [e-mail].  There is NOTHING wrong with you and you can make it thru this!

Answer 4

Everybodys different in there own little way. I'm obese for my age and height, and i comfert eat alot! If you are getting sick of it, see a docter cause they help a real lot. I hate my body too because im fat and flabby and its just horrible, dont starve yourself though. You need to eat!! everybody does. Maybe you could see a pycharitrist because they will found out how you got depressed in the first place, wich will help you alot too.

Answer 5

There is no way in the world you could look as bad as you describe. Please consider the possiblity that the mirror is lying to you. Look up body dysmorphic disorder. This is a sad condition but it can be treated.

In the meantime, strive to be as healthy as you can be. Health is powerfully attractive. Eat lots of whole grain brown rice, oatmeal, and fresh vegetables. All other foods just have in moderation. Take a vitamin each day. Exercise every other day and get plenty of sleep. If you do these things, your weight will take care of itself.

I am so sorry you were bullied. That actually says more about the people picking on you than it does about you. They should be ashamed.

There is nothing wrong with having a womanly healthy rear end. There are people out there having surgery to have the butt that you were born with! Don't worry so much!! Play up your voluptuous look. It's a good thing, not a bad one!

I hope you are soon feeling better. There is no good reason at all for you to hate yourself. Dress yourself up, step out in confidence, and anyone who doesn't like the way you look can go to He**. But I am betting you will look awesome.

Answer 6

I went through this myself... you have to realize that people come in different shapes and sizes... none better than the other. Your body doesn't define you. You are who you are for a reason. Concentrate on the reasons you overeat and then you will come to realize that it's not your fault so you have no reason to feel guilty. Going days without eating will also make you gain weight. Eat everyday in a healthy way... eat a salad for lunch and a light dinner. You will see results I promise

Answer 7

in this F***** up world we're made to believe that beauty is a thin, rib revealing botoxed stick princess who trowels on her bulls*** anti-ageing wrinkle cream and lives her life off some fad diet. Are they really happy though? they have the money and the supposed "good looks". Media has a lot to answer for, it's pumping us full of nonsense as to what beauty is, and it's making a devasting impression on young girls and boys and women and men alike. we are becoming obsessed with trying to make ourselves look younger and bodies "perfect". i have no idea what perfection is and don't believe it exists. it's the imperfections that make someone beautiful and i'm not just talking about the body, the person too. how boring would it be if we all looked the same and had the same personality.

I know you feel depressed right now and your self-esteem is probably quite low. what you really need to do is get a good counsellor and start tackling the underlying issues. the over-eating is just a symptom. i think that once you start to feel a little bit more positive about yourself you will naturally start looking after yourself a bit better, by eating a more balanced diet and you may even start to enjoy some gentle excerise. it's all baby steps, everyday you have to try and a live the good life you deserve, it's too short to wallow in misery...good luck

Answer 8

Whats normal??  How does everyone else look?  Stop comparing yourself to the tall skinny chics.  Your problem is not how you look, it's how you see yourself.  Your lack of self confidence is what's going to make you unattractive, not a big ****.  You hit the nail on the head when you said, even if you lost weight you'd still hate yourself.  Yes, you will because it's not your weight, it's your perception of yourself.  

People always think the grass is greaner on the other side.  It's not.  "If I had this then my life would be better, if I was skinnier or richer or had longer hair, or this and that, then my life would be better."  It's simply not true.  Some girls probably wish they had an **** like yours.  I always wished I had a bigger butt and that I was more shapely.  You gotta just let it go.  No one sees you how you see yourself.  

You say people pick on you in school?  Join the club.  They're not picking on you for your weight.  They pick on you because they can, because you let them, and because you are weaker than them.  If you didn't have a weight problem, they'd find other reasons to pick on you.  They'd make shiit up.  I know, I was bullied in high school.  I'm very petite and I think I'm pretty.  They picked on me for all sorts of things.  Big nose (which I don't have at all), small b***s (my b***s are just fine), freckles, the way I dressed (we were poor), and my accent.

Trust me when I say none of that matters when you become an adult.  All that c**p in high school is so petty and insignificant.  Those people picked on me because I was so shy and they made me cry which made them feel better about themselves.

I really like what rock star said!!  d**n right!!

Answer 9

I think you are a beautiful woman but the way you see yourself doesn't portrait as such. Comfort eating is sort of a spiralling loop, You eat cos you feel bad, which makes you feel worse and therefore you eat some more. Every woman feels bad about some parts of their body which is why we comfort eat in the first place. But one thing you need to remember is that even the most beautiful people have flaws (i.e madonna has a saggy ****, angelina jolie has bonny knees). Another thing is don't starve yourself because when you start eating you'll only eat more  which will imbalance your metabolism. Darling I have a gigantic **** that's been fitting in a size 14 since the age of 15, I've learned to love it. Give it some time, focus on the positive, there must be something. Beautiful eyes, nice smile, or the way you laugh.  Try thinking bout those things. That's one of the ways to get out of that vicious loop.

Answer 10

"I once complained about my shoes until I met a man with no feet",maybe you should think about unfortunate people who have lost their legs, and wonder if they would mind having chunky legs, you need to realize that everybody has a different shape, the important thing is to be healthy, make peace with your body, it is a vehicle that will carry you through this brief life, so stop wasting your time trying to be a size 0, which I find to be just as ugly as obesity, eat healthy, get out and go walk walks, because, whether you like your body or not, it's what you have, so take care of it, if you don't , who will?

Answer 11

hello, i think you have depression that has nothing to do with your looks, this is just a cover to somthing more that mad you feel the way you do about you,lots of things can make us hate our self...for egsampel...guilt, being bullied, feeling unlove and uncared about,...i was always told to "blow my own trumpit,because   no will blow it for you".... we all have good points that we can focause on....for me its my eyes,my hair and my bust...i use these to my best advantage...also i like to think i have a nice personality and try to be nice and a good person. its amazing how a new hair style can change you, a little make up...as for clothes...i have goks how to look good naked book witch help you find the right clothes for your body shape,i know depression is a horribel to live with ,go see your doctor and get a little help with this,and try a few of my tips...i wish you happinessxxx

Answer 12

Don't starve yourself. By not eating for 3 or 4 days your body goes into starvation mode and actually starts storing fat.  Get yourself into a healthy habit of eating and exercising.  I know...not easy to do.  I've had weight issues my entire life.  I know.  I had the lapband surgery two years ago, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself.  It's not for everyone, but it was the right decision for me.  You have to accept yourself at some point.  Whether you're thin or not, you have to find a point where YOU can be happy with yourself.  Figure out where that is, and embrace it.  

Answer 13

We all get stuck in ruts sometimes and end up in places where we don't want to be but luckily for you your problem can be sorted.  As for a fat ****, look at Kim Kardashians ****, its huge and all the blokes love it!  Having a big bum is not a bad thing, J.Lo has one and Beyonce.  Your problem can be solved.  You can loose weight and be the size you want to be.  Have you thought about going to the gym?  You can work out and change nearly any part of your body there.  There are even face exercises that can be done to give you a natural face lift and get rid of lies, etc.  Obesity is one of the biggest probs facing society in todays times so you are not alone.  Try not to hate yourself, just because you are fat doesn't mean you are not a nice person.  Too much emphasis is put on looks and material things nowadays.  Love yourself regardless of weight but as it doesn't  make you happy carrying that much weight make an effort to exercise and eat healthily.  Channel that anger and hate into doing something about it. Get the book You Can heal Your Life by Louise hay it will help you to see things differently and to love yourself again.