Why have we been isolated for doing the right thing?

Question

My sister-in-law has 2 children by a convicted paedophile but this was kept secret from the family until 3/4 years ago. After we found out, there was repeated court appearances and Social services ruled she is to have no contact with him and his family. She continued to do so and i reported her anonymously.

Last year she told us social services said it's ok for her to talk to him and his family as he's appealling and Social Services case will be closed before Easter. I found out this was a lie and decided to keep an eye on what she was doing. Her partner moved to Spain with his family and we all thought that would be it, but then she told us she's taking her kids to stay with him for 2 weeks along with her parents for 1 week. I decided enough was enough and i had to stop her taking her kids to stay with him. I contacted social services again and gave a statement along with my husband. It went to court and they ruled she can't leave country with the kids.

It's now going to court again soon and we have to go and give evidence about everything she's been doing that she shouldn't. Because of this my in-laws hate us and have cut all contact. I wouldn't be bothered if i didn't have an 11month old son that they haven't seen for months. My mother and father in-law stroll in and out of his life whenever the mood takes them.

Why have we been made to feel like the bad guys when all we did is protect 2 innocent children?? Am i wrong to tell Mum and dad-in-law that since they can't be be consistently in my sons life not to be in it at all?? I can't help thinking i should've buried my head in the sand like rest of family and not done anything but i know i couldn't live with myself knowing what could've happened if they went to Spain.

Answer 1

Hey!

Many times in my life I have gotten the c**p end of the deal because I did the right thing. even recently. You know you saved the kids from being taken out of the country so you succeeded in what you thought and knew was right. God will bless you for your efforts. Right is right no matter what we have to suffer for doing it. Thank you on behalf of two innocent kids. Your intervention has likely saved them a lot of heart ache and a life time of turmoil

Answer 2

You have to wonder this:  If this woman's parents are angry at you and your husband for trying to protect HER grandchildren, you really don't want them in your child's life.  Would your child be safe with them?  If your sister-in-law continues to see this man your child could come in contact with him.  No way!!!!!! Nail the door up and don't let them anywhere near your child.  They don't have the kids best interest at heart.  Low Lifes .... that's what they are, almost as bad as the monster himself.

Answer 3

Your in-laws are bullies.  You and your husband didn't toe the family line; you acted like human beings instead of kids keeping secrets.  Really, it suggests that they have something to hide, too.

You absolutely did the right thing.  Their mother won't protect these two children and you were right to step in.  I think your in-laws will never see it this way and maybe being cut off from them isn't such a bad thing.

Answer 4

i'm a survivor of severe childhood abuse, which my mom always said was 2 b "our secret." i'd eventually had 2 make a life or death choice 2 tell or die. i'd learned thru all this that "secrets" MUST B told. if "secrets" r kept, those "secrets" can become life-threatening, & can kill victims. knowing my end was near, i wanted SOME 1 2 know the REAL truth. i spoke 2 a school counselor, & opened up about the "secrets." additionally, I told them that IF 1 day i don't show up @ school that I was dead. this impelled the school 2 call childrens' services, & i was rescued.

u did the right thing by telling.  

Answer 5

You did the right thing. I would do the same if it was my sister or sister-in-law. You had to protect those children because obviously she wasn't going to.

If this is how your inlaws are going to treat you and your husband for doing the right thing, they are acting extremely childish and immature. And I don't blame you one bit for telling them to not be a part of your sons life.  

Answer 6

The children are innocent in all the drama people put them through.

Protect the children.

Answer 7

No, you're not wrong.  You were just thinking of the well being of her two children, you were trying to prevent this man from harming them.  I guess that's just how the world is.  Stubborn  

Answer 8

No, you were not wrong.   You put the children first and protected them.   Something that their mother and father actually have no concept of doing.   If your family cannot support you for the rightful decision you made, then tough.   Maybe it is time to consider moving away from this vicious family circle.  

I am not telling you to run from problems.   But it might be a good idea to put some very needed emotional distance between yourself and your family.   After all, haven't they tried to isolate you?   Maybe the time has come for you to isolate yourself from them?

Good Luck!

Answer 9

One thing I have learned about doing the right thing is that it doesn't always pay off like you think it should.  I know this part of life sucks.  When I'm in a situation like that I just remind my self would I rather the innocent kids pay consequences of what I didn't say or would I rather deal with the difficulties of what I did say.  I'm glad there is someone out there who is willing to protect them.  It's possible that no one ever appreciates you for it.  That's not why you did it tho right?  

and as for your in-laws if they don't want to be in your childrens life un conditionally then I think you did the right thing.