Why in the world would he move on to someone else when?

Question

Hi,

My ex and I had a 5 yr relationship, it ended about 6 months ago... it ended because of commitment issues on his part, I was ready to marry him and he always went back and forth on the marriage thing, at times he would tell me he loves me and wants to marry me and at times he would tell me he doesn't know what he wants and he likes the single life but loves me, so because of that he doesn't know what to do... plenty of times I caught him lying to me about things he did, girls he talked to ...etc. The relationship ended because of these, I ended it... I felt as though I was his doormat. Soo... I cut off all contact, 4 months later I hear that he started to date another girl, actually they became boyfriend/girlfriend, not just dating. My question is... if we were together for so long like 5 yrs, and if he loved me like he said he did then why couldn't he commit to me?? but right after we break up he starts calling someone else his girlfriend... I'm crushed and confused, and the thing is, this girl is nothing like me, I'm going to be a doctor in 2011 - almost done!! and we had a great relationship besides the commitment issues and this girl works at hooters/drinks/parties and is a "dancer" on the side... what is going on??

Answer 1

u know all i can say i guess is that u seem like a great girl. but after 5 years with someone, usually people start to become different and drift apart. maybe he wanted a change, and maybe in a bit he will realize he misses u. but im sure he did love u, 5 years is a long time to be with someone.  besides u dont wanna be with someone anyway if they lie all the time.

Answer 2

He has commitment issues. You weren't okay with it.

This new girl doesn't have issues with it like you did. She's probably quite similar to him, actually.

Answer 3

Can you say Rebound? Do not feel like there is anything this girl has that you don't. She was easy pickings and he obviously needs someone to be with, even though he didn't want to commit. Don't go back to him though because if he really thought you were worth it, he would have made a commitment.

Answer 4

Some people need to be needed.

You sound solid and in truth didn't need him.

This other girl, however, sounds like she can use some help.

Answer 5

Why would you want to be with someone like that anyway. Go marry another doctor, my husbands friends married someone else medical and it works better because you will understand each other.  

Answer 6

5 years is an extremely long period of time to be with someone. Don't be upset, though, because he's not worth it. If he said he loves you, and then lies to you, and isn't being honest, hes totally not a person you'd want to spend your entire life with.

Maybe he decided 5 years is enough time, and wanted to move on, and explore and date other people. I don't know the age of you two, but maybe he felt he wasn't old enough to get married. It could be that he does love you, but he just doesn't feel that he would want to be committed to you in that way.

I hope I helped!

Answer 7

It sounds like he wasn't ready for marriage yet. He still wants to see what's out there and play the field. Don't worry about him and move on. Get your degree and in ten years, I'm sure you'll be living life to the fullest while he's still partying.  

Answer 8

You represent stability and she on the other hand represents wild fun crazy nights. You had to know what kind of man he was and what he was up to when you were doing all that studying to be a doctor. Your EX just wants to be foot loose and fancy free and any woman who gets stuck with him is in for one h**l of a life.

Answer 9

You are the kind of girl who is respectable and worthy of a commitment that he is unable to give at this time. The kind of girl you described sounds like one who would not expect much from him or herself.   You are guilty of nothing but having standards.  I know it is hard, but try to not dwell on this issue.  What is meant to be will be.  Study hard, I know you are going to be very successful in Love and Life one day.  xox

Answer 10

You answered your own question...

it ended 6 months ago.  I know it's hard, but it seriously wasn't meant to be, so the best thing to do for yourself is move on.  You sound like a wonderful person.  Who wouldn't want you?  Your ex doesn't and is an idiot.  You're better off moving forward with your life while he is being immature and not wanting to commit.  Focus on your school. Keep busy.  Keep your head up.  Or at least try... :(

Answer 11

She might be a rebound girl or he like her carefree personality (no pressure into getting married, her way of living) or he just wasn't into you.

Just because you are a doctor to be and she works in hooters and a dancer doesn't make you better or a better gf material. You shouldn't look down on people, maybe that's why he left you.

Answer 12

don't worry, he wasn't the one for you dr.

Answer 13

He's a loser.

Keep your eyes open for a hunky doctor that will love and respect you the way you deserve.

FORGET THIS GUY by then, and never give him a second thought around hunky doctor...

You are way too good for this.  Don't stress it.  He just wants "it" and doesn't care where he gets "it".  

Answer 14

He didn't want you. Thats the truth of the matter, you may have seemed perfect but to him, you just aren't what he wanted.

It's nothing to beat yourself up over. You guys just weren't meant to be, which means, You are meant for someone else.  

Answer 15

she's a rebound. yeah they are boyfriend/girlfriend but he is trying to replace something he's lost. they aren't going to last though, once he has had his fun he'll toss her out and move on to something new and exciting. he's in a phase, i don't think he's even thinking about long term with her at this point. you need to go out with your girls for some drinks and some flirting and get some phone numbers too!!!

Answer 16

hi ms. doctor ...

you guys had a long relationship and probably serious. i think that he probably felt that he needed to try things before he got committed. guys are dumb like that anyways now that he has his new girl it wont be long till he figures out that you were the perfect girl for him. you have a great future coming your way. don't let him stop you from going on. keep your head up, smile and go out n meet new ppl. good luck..

have fun =]

Answer 17

most guys look for certain submissive personality traits.......he probably dumped you for her because she will let him lead her around by the nose

Answer 18

He doesn't want to grow up. He just wants to play and have fun. That's why he's with a girl who works at Hooters. You're too smart for him. You're serious, educated, have goals and a real future. This guy isn't good enough for you and he knows it. You are going to pass him by and leave him behind and you should. Do you, a woman who is going to become a doctor in three years, want to be married to a guy who can't grow up, make a commitment, and doesn't want to give up the party life and hanging around strippers? Come on, you have worked too hard to get where you are today and you have a great future ahead of you. Don't mess that all up by dating some loser. Don't you see it! You deserve soooo much better! Forget that jerk and find yourself a winner.

Answer 19

he just wants s*x.....really sounds like a jerk...u shouldnt care WHAT hes doing...don't worry tho, that relationship wont last.

Answer 20

Sounds like you got lucky girl! You found out exactly what kind of a guy he was before you got in any deeper. While I know his betrayal hurts, you are obviously a very intelligent person, and he really did you a favor. I was engaged 2 x s before I got married and was very thankful later, that I didn't marry either guy. It will hurt for a while, but you will be more careful next time I am sure. There are a lot of guys around like him but there are a select few decent guys that deserve you and are really are looking for someone like you. Set high standards and keep them even when you feel desperate and just think you are never to going find someone. Get to know yourself better. You will change a lot and develop more professionally and intellectually in the next few years and what seems important now will probably be much different in a few years. Hold your head up high and focus on reaching those goals you have set for yourself.

Answer 21

he obviously isn't right for you if he doesnt want to commit, he would rather be with someone he can throw away and start a new with another time, he doesnt deserve you, best of luck and bravo with the doctor thing! hope it all works out for you!!!!!

Answer 22

maybe he was scared you werent lose and S****y enough

:) IM HAPPY FOR YOU  

you sound way to good for that jerk

Answer 23

well you look like you talk.........ALLOT and thats fine but that makes most guys feel uncomfortable and maybe he really didn't know what he wanted .

Answer 24

I think that you shouldn't put too much relevance in how he has moved on. Put the value into yourself and what you need in your life. The fact that he has moved on in no way reflects on you as a person. It reflects on who he is and what he wants from life. Obviously this is a good outcome that he has moved on because it shows how much he was really committed to the relationship. Love is not about what you say so much as what you do. You can say you love someone, but like they say words are cheap. When you really love someone the commitment does not waver.  

Answer 25

to me it sounds like he is a putz and only wants to party

it sounds like you are getting your life together, maybe he needs to grow up

i think you may be out of his league at this point, so my advice is if he is going to be a childish partying putz all his life move on now and save the time and tears on someone worth the bother

Answer 26

i would stay away from him and find yourself someone more deserving

it sucks getting crushed but it needed to happen if you wanted to commit and he wasnt serious find someone who is more like you are perhaps an honest person

Answer 27

Its because hes def. not ready to settle down. This type of girl isn't one who is serious. I would try and move on hun because hes not looking for anything serious right now