Why is a never married woman "independent", but a never married man "flawed"?

Question

When a woman has never married, she is celebrated as being strong and independent and too good for a man. When a man has never married, he is weird and afraid of commitment and a serial killer.

Why the double-standard?

Answer 1

The cycles have change again, not for the better.  The prevailing wisdom used to be that an unmarried woman was a spinster and an unmarried man, a swinger.  SO the pendulum has swung again.

Answer 2

i don't know man, have you ever seen desperate 35-to-45-yr old women? when their bio clock starts to run out, they end up runnign after every man 40 to 50 years old, but the men at that age are the men who are either too messed up to marry or happily single, so they are kinda screwed. and to make it worse, they are in a hurry now so they push, push, push the man they meet, which is NOT what you wanna do, ever.

are you thinking of s*x and the city perhaps when you ask this question? i don't know about you, but for me, that show makes me think "settle! settle! settle!" because if you don't, you're gonna end up like *those* women. that show portrays them as independant, but that's not how women in that position in life see themselelves. that's probably why the show is so popular: "i may be a looser, but look, i'm independant and i have my girl-friends! who-hoo!"

when was the last time you saw a 70 year old women who was strong an independant -- and not totally alone and rejected by society watching operah in the daytime? when have you ever seen an old single hold out as well as say... ron paul or mccain?

because of their own goals (to have kids) women are much worse off. men can have kids at any age (it gradually gets worse and worse for them, but does not shut down) but for women, it abruptly shuts down, and the lady ends up with a lot of cats.

she's nto strong and independant now, she is the crazy cat lady.

a single 30yr odl is strong and idependant.

a sigle 40yr old is sad and desperate.

a sigle 50+ year old is a crazy cat lady

Answer 3

Who cares, marriage is a state of institution in which she is a liability.

Answer 4

The opposite is true. I see unmarried men as SMART and unmarried women as "Princess complex, overly high standards, selfish, unrealistic, etc"

The opposite

Answer 5

I haven't noticed that. Now the OPPOSITE  used to be true, which was unfair. But now I think we as a society are pretty fair about evaluating both genders in that situation.

Answer 6

Never-married men are weird serial killers?

Wow...I had no idea. Anybody tell George Clooney that?

Answer 7

I've heard a never married woman is ugly and stupid (sometimes weird and/or crazy) so independent is a big step up. I've heard men who never married never found the right one or were independent or were afraid of commitment or weird-so sounds about the same as what they say about single women. Haven't heard the serial killer insult. I wonder why they never say women are afraid of commitment-and that is why they never married? Double-standard?

Answer 8

The way I see it, it's the exact opposite: never-married women are frigid old hags, and never-married men are smart not to give up any part of their freedom.

Answer 9

i have to echo tracey, eleanor b, and rio in this instance.

Answer 10

I disagree. Bachelor sounds independent and is associated with learning.  Spinister sounds old and bitter :-)

Answer 11

I think men judge men harder.  I have a lot of never married friends and I don't consider them to be strong and independent or weird commitment phobia serial killers.  I just always think that if their not married they haven't found the person that made them want to get married.

Answer 12

these stereotypes are new to me

whered u get 'em?

Answer 13

I believe that these women you speak of, still harbor a secret desire for happily ever after, irregardless of the fact that she can make the payment on her mansion by herself.

As for a man who doesn't commit, I think that society might view him as a man who refuses to dance. The double standard comes from society that expects him to procreate, to find a beautiful woman to nest with and leave his mark on the world, his legacy.

I believe in love.

Answer 14

Same reason a woman who sleeps around is a s**t, but a man who does, well, hes "THE MAN"

Answer 15

I guess all interpretations are different.  Where I come from, women who never marry are 'unlovable' in one way or another, and are called spinsters.  Men who are not married, however, are clever.

Answer 16

Great point!

It's amusing to see the way men are guilted and shamed in this situation, but women are flattered and praised for the same exact thing.

That is indeed a double standard despite what some of these women refuse to admit.

You're trying to undo 40 years of "only women are victims" so it's not really that surprising.

Answer 17

Yeah, you have it exactly backwards dude.