Why is anyone AGAINST opening adoption records?

Question

Especially those who have no connection to the adoption triad (birthparent, adoptee, adopter)? Who are people trying to protect?

I believe that adoptees should have access to their original birth certificate and records so that they can search if they choose to. I believe that the birthparents should have access to the same info for the same reason.

Why would anyone be against this????

Answer 1

My biological parents told everyone I died at birth as a cover story for relinquishing me for adoption.  Then, they spent years using that false story to get sympathy from their family and to scare others who were expecting, telling them:  "Be careful.  You could lose your baby just like we did."  As you can imagine, they were very upset when I had my records opened and found them.  They complained bitterly about being embarrassed when the truth became known throughout the family .  

Therefore, in my experience:

These are the sorts of people who want records sealed for ever.  And these are the reasons for wanting records to remain sealed.

Answer 2

Because when an adoptee finds their parents there is joy, but there is also trauma on both sides.  Memories come back. You never find what you are expecting.  Etc.   If one party is not emotionally stable it causes a lot of damage.

Also people give up babies so they can move on.  If the baby surfaces after they married someone who thinks they were a virgin at marriage, well, it's just a little akward.

Answer 3

I think the reasons for people being against open records varies.

The politicians and lawmakers who are most vehemently against open records probably are trying to protect themselves...they probably have a "dirty little secret" that they don't want popping out of the woodwork to destroy their political career.

Same with the church's stance, I really believe that they have something to hide.

The AP's who don't want them opened are probably looking out for their own best interests; making sure little adoptling only has ONE SET of parents...the adopters.  It's fear and insecurity that keeps AP's on the closed-record agenda.

Adoptees who are against it, are probably the adoptees who deep down are very very hurt by being given up, and angry at their natural parents, or they feel the "thou shalt be grateful" to the extreme and will do anything to "protect" their adopters.  I know quite a few fellow adoptees who have this attitude, and it is really sad.

Of course adoption agencies don't want them opened, because then the truth will come out about the lies and abuses that were perpetrated onto the natural mothers...and the coercion to get that baby.

Then there are the people who are in no way connected with adoption...I think it's really simple ignorance.  People really do believe in all the hype about "promised anonymity" and the ongoing belief in the big magical dumpster that all of us adoptees were saved from.  They think natural mothers are these cold, unfeeling, selfish people who either A) were all to happy to get rid of their little inconvenience or B) were actually able to forget all about being pregnant for 9 months and pushing a 7 - 8 pound infant out of her v****a after 20 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing.

But I think us women who have had children know, that is something you just don't "Forget".

There are lots of reasons, but I think the underlying current is fear, ignorance, and protection of their own self-interests.

What most people DON'T know is, however, that n-mothers have never been guaranteed any privacy.  Have you ever seen a relinquishment agreement?  I have, and nowhere on it does it say anything about anonymity or privacy.  This whole "privacy promise" thing is a myth.

Answer 4

I also agree that adoptee's should have access.

But birth moms are allowed options that can deny this to their child placed for adoption. Some just don't want to be found.I also think some adoptive parents prefer this as well so not to ever feel threatend.

Sadly, the person most effected by this is the adoptee. I personally don't think either party has the right to deny information from any adoptee. For better or worse everyone deserves the right to know where they came from.

Answer 5

The people most against opening adoption records are adopting parents and agencies.  It is not the birthparents, although it is true that some do not want to be found.  As far as the rest, I can't fathom how they can have an opinion when most have never spent any time learning anything about the subject one way or the other.

Answer 6

Some people who place a child for adoption want to remain anonymous.  If they are giving the ultimate gift of placing the baby with someone who they think can support the baby better, then why not allow them the anonymity?

The reason those outside of the adoption triad have an opinion is that you never know when you might find yourself within it.  Perhaps me or my family member is raped - adoption instead of abortion is chosen - she wants to move on with her life.  Then 18 years later a reminder of that tragedy knocks on her door.  

When we enter into any agreement - we should be bound by it.

Answer 7

Adoption records in Australia have been opened since the early 90's.

There has NOT been an increase in abortions.

There has NOT been anyone harassed or hurt - by an adoptee or a first mother.

In the US - records are closed and remain closed simply because the NCFA lobby heavily - on behalf of adoptive parents and adoption agencies - to keep them closed.

It only benefits THEM.

Answer 8

to protect the privacy of the birth parents.

Answer 9

Why would anyone be against this? because they don't understand the laws, their origin, and how they came to be sealed.

they don' t understand that opening our records isn't about reunion, its about restoring our rights as citizens of this country. That treating us like criminal children for our entire lives, is nothing short of discrimination.

Contact preference forms can be entered into files to let us know if our families lost by adoption want to be contacted or not.

Someone said that we need to stick by the laws we commit too, adoptees haven't commited to ANYTHING. We didn't chose to be adopted, we didn't go into any legal contract. We haven't signed any papers, it was done against our wills, as infants and small children.

Records weren't originally sealed from adoptees in the first place. They were sealed from the public first to protect the adoptees from the public shame and stigma of being an illegitimate child. Then they were sealed from the parents of the adoptees, and then eventually the adoptee after the pressure of Georgia Tann * a new book is out about her if anyone would like to read her horror onto adoptees * in short to hide coverups and illegal child trafficing.

Mothers were never promised secrecy majority of the time, I know this from my own mother, i've seen her records. There is nothing about secrecy on them, but the state says she was promised it. AMFOR also has a page of mothers that have signed a petition claiming they were never promised secrecy.

Harvard University did a study on mothers who have surrendered in Maryland, 100% of them wanted reunion.

And even if they WERE promised secrecy, an unlawful promise of secrecy to a human being over another human beings HUMAN rights, isn't justified. It can't be legally upheld and states are starting to recognize that.

Why would anyone be against opening records grump? Ignorance and hidden agendas.

Can you imagine the class action lawsuit adoptees could have once we DO get access to our records. How many adoptees will THEN finally be able to PROVE the outright LIES on our birth certificates? How many of us have different birthdates, times and places and parents of birth on our original ones? Records of birth haven't been denied to, and falsified to a group of people since America had slaves. Eventually they won their freedom back however and we will too.

Anyone who is against this imo has hidden agenda and must be profitting too much off of the industry to want adoptees to have the truth infront of them. If the millions of adoptees in America were able to access their records, see the truth and unite for the unethical practises of adoption, then how would it be allowed to continue? Opening our records threatens the 4 billion $$ a year profit.

Answer 10

For some, its easier to live a peaceful life, without access to that information or desire for that information.  If you know its inaccessable, you dont have to decide whether or not you should pursue it.  Sometimes, we just have too many choices.  Lets you focus on the present.

Answer 11

Hi,

There are no good reasons to permanently seal adoption records - only excuses.

Gershom & Lillie, great thoughts there!

Wanda - Why should adoptees be permanently “bound” to any agreement they never saw, never signed, and never agreed to? If arrangements were made on their behalf as infants, adoptees are adults now, no longer in need of any automatic protections from anyone.  I believe it is the agencies and some (not all) adoptive parents who really want to continue hiding behind sealed record laws.

“R” – If the problem is “the child might not know they are adopted,” then the answer is they need to know!  There should always be honesty!   If all the lies and secrecy surrounding adoption were eliminated, the things you mentioned would not be issues at all. The solution is open records for the adoptee. It works just fine in every other country & some US states. Suggesting it’s better to deny them the truth of their origins is morally wrong & detrimental to the adoptee on many levels. Adoptees are not dirty little secrets, they are humans worthy of the same dignity & rights that you & all others have. To your assertion that “many birthparents don’t want to be found,” you should read the statistics from adoption.com and my other links below!

"Rights to records" & "searching" are 2 separate issues. Unsealing records does not necessarily mean a search will be conducted nor a relationship will develop, as relationships always need to be mutual regardless of adoption status. However, adoptees DO have a right to know who they are & where they came from. If not everyone chooses to search, that's ok. They still deserve their info when/if they want it, once they are adults.  

Closed adoptions were forced not chosen because there was no other type of adoption then. Anonymity could not have been promised because adoptions aren’t even finalized until at least 6 months after relinquishments are signed. Not all children are adopted anyways.  Records are not sealed until an adoption is final so if one is not, then how could anyone guarantee that?  If in fact anyone did promise that, they would not have had the legal authority to do so, and it would have been unwanted in most cases.  Interestingly enough, in more than two decades of fighting against adoptee civil rights, not one single document promising “anonymity” has ever been submitted anywhere by sealed-records lobbyists. What natural moms DID sign were relinquishment of PARENTING rights.  They did not agree to not ever have any contact with their child. Most are overjoyed to later learn what became of their children lost to adoption.

For those who say it destroys the adopter’s bond w/the child they adopted, that child is a human being in his own right, not something to be owned & controlled forever.  That child grows up & doesn’t need or want decisions made on his behalf anymore. As adults, they are free to associate w/any other adults they choose.  Adoptive parents shouldn’t feel they need sealed records to assure them a place in the adoptee’s heart.  Love is not something that diminishes if you divide it among more people.  It’s the opposite, it grows.  Parents are capable of love for more than one child, people are capable of loving their in-laws or stepparents. Adoptees are also capable of loving many people.  Nobody should try to deny others the opportunity for additional love in their lives, nor should they deny them the truths about themselves. Searching is a personal quest & it's independent of the love that adoptees may feel from any other sources, it does not replace it.

Those who make a living off of the adoption industry are the ones fighting the hardest to keep adoptees away from their records. They also fight to keep unethical practices hidden. It's obviously a very lucrative business, and right or wrong, they are not about to give that up easily. They claim to speak for the natural moms, when in fact, it's their own interests they are trying to preserve. Natural moms overwhelmingly tell a different story.

julie

reunited adult adoptee

& rights  activist

“ The law must be consonant with life. It cannot and should not ignore broad historical currents of history. Mankind is possessed of no greater urge than to try to understand the age-old questions: “Who am I” “Why am I?” Even now the sands and ashes of the continents are being sifted to find where we made our first step as man. Religions of mankind often include ancestor worship in one way or another. For many the future is blind without a sight of the past. Those emotions and anxieties that generate our thirst to know the past are not superficial and whimsical. They are real and they are “good cause” under the law of man and God.”

The petition is conditionally granted.

IT IS SO ORDERED

April 9, 1979

[Signed]

WADE S. WEATHERFORD, JR.

Resident Judge, Seventh Judicial

Circuit Court, South Carolina

Read at least  # 60-65 Oregon ruling on privacy http://biotech.law.lsu.edu/cases/privacy...

"A birth is simultaneously an intimate occasion and a public event--the government has long kept records of when, where and by whom babies are born. Such records have myriad purposes, such as furthering the interest of children in knowing the circumstances of their birth. The Tennessee legislature has resolved a conflict between that interest and the competing interest of some parents in concealing the circumstances of a birth."

"Neither a birth nor an adoption may be carried out in the absolute cloak of secrecy that may surround a contraception or the early termination of a pregnancy. A birth is an event that requires the generation of an accurate vital record that preserves certain data, including the name of the birth mother. That the state has a legitimate interest in preserving such data is not disputed here. We recognize that a birth mother may well have a legitimate interest in keeping secret the circumstances of a birth that is followed by an adoption and also that an adoptee may have a legitimate interest in discovering the identity of his or her birth mother. Legitimate interests, however, do not necessarily equate with fundamental rights. The state may make policy choices to accommodate such competing interests, just as the state has done with the passage of Measure 58. We conclude that the state legitimately may choose to disseminate such data to the child whose birth is recorded on such a birth certificate without infringing on any fundamental right to privacy of the birth mother who does not desire contact with the child."

Answer 12

First adoptee access is not about foster care.  Adoptee access is for infant adoption.  Foster care adoptees are usually allowed access to their records.  

In two state courts, the privacy issue was thrown out on its ugly rear end because in adoption, natural moms are giving up their rights to include familial privacy.  Also in adoption another human being is born with the same rights as everyone else in this.  It has been statistically proven that 99% of natural mothers and fathers want contact from their children in five states now going onto six.  

The reasons why adoptees' records are sealed is to protect both adoptive parents and agencies.  Adoption agencies treated our mothers horribly.  They continue to shame and humiliate them.  Do not answer for the mothers.  They will speak for themselves.  They have spoken overwhelmingly clear on this issue.  It is not them that impedes adoptee access.  Why are adoptees treated as criminals all because of the status of our birth?  Agencies don't want us comparing notes.  My adoptive parents paid good money.  I paid good money and my own natural mother paid good money.  How about following the money trail in adoption?  You will find the corruption follows the buck.

Answer 13

i think you are right.,..if i was adopted i would want to know. i have the right to.. it is my business to know.. if my birthparent dont want to be found.. i really wouldnt want to look for him or her. but would like to at least know their name

Answer 14

Hello I am an adoptee!!!

I think the only reason is some birthmothers feel shamed.  Maybe it is a lifelong secret from all.  That would be hard to hold in by yourself.

Answer 15

There is no reason to be against this if the adoptee is old enough and wants it, and the birth parents are not against it.  

However, the birth parents have a right to remain anonymous.  This may be difficult for the adoptee to understand, and it may be painful.  I honestly hope that this is not a situation that I will need to deal with.

Answer 16

I think if it is a closed adoption and the birth parents do not want to be found then the records should be sealed. Maybe the birth mother was raped and doesn't want to re-live the event, or some other catastrophic event. Some children are bitter towards their birth parents for giving them up for adoption, even though they could have just as easily gotten an abortion, or kept them and lived in poverty.

Answer 17

The problem is many birth parents don't want to be found so if you open it up they can be found and the child can interupt their life.  The same for the opposite. the child may not know they are adopted or they do and don't want to meet their birth parent then her comes this lady one day saying i am your mom.

Now i think adopted kids need to  have access to medical records and medical history of their birth parents and family but with no names

I think that if both the adoptive child and birth parent make an inquire then the records could be opened if only one makes  the inquiry then they should remain sealed

I know people on both ends of this and the birth parent i know even moved out of state they don't want to be found they don't want in 20 yrs for there to be a knock on there door that is why they gave the child up

Then i know birth children who are mad at their birth mom for whatever reason and would be pissed if she showed up

Answer 18

I do not think there are many places that have no way of opening adoption records. This is how some states allow open files and this to me seems to be a good compromise.

the adoptee, the adoptive parents and the biological parent all have the option of filing a form that says they grant permission for the files to be opened. As soon as these three (the only three that should be allowed to have a problem with it) have all sent in the proper permission to be contacted forms Social Services will send out the file and any updated information to all three parties. And truth be told 18 is probably a very good age limit to use because kids younger then that really do need to grow up first before they can properly handle this information. (of course some kids are ready sooner and some never are but 18 seems like a good age to argue in favor of from my stand point)

Answer 19

to protect someone involved.

Some birth parents don't want to be found.

Some adoptive parents have chosen not to let the child know.

I think a resolution should allow for the adoption agency to send a letter to the party at question asking if they want to contact the person looking for them. then open that record once permission is gained.

I'm not real convinced that it is the right thing to do to keep records closed. A person should have a right to their familial history. Esp with genetic health related issues so prominent in our society. Doesn't seem quite right does it.

Answer 20

sealing of adoption records denies adoptees and birth families of the same rights as other's.  It is wrong and groups like b******s.org need to be supported.

Answer 21

For whatever reason, some birth parents don't want to be found. I think there should be a go between to see if their feelings change later. As an adoptive mother, I made it my business to get medical info from the birth parents as well as a picture. I made it clear if the child chooses later on to meet them, then I will support him.

Answer 22

Thank you, Lillie. You deserve a standing ovation for that answer.

The official reasons are all c**p. We moms were never guaranteed privacy or anonymity. And most of us don't want it, either. Most of us WANT to be found. (Sorry LC, I'm too lazy to pull up the link to the stats, but the stats ARE out there... google it.)

And as for the abortion argument... the idea that if women don't have the option for confidential adoptions, that more will get abortions... this has been proved to be false in the states that are opening records. In fact abortion has DECREASED or stayed roughly static in open-records states.

So... I agree with what some previous posters have said: it all comes down to money for the agencies and the insecurity of some (not all) adoptive parents.

It's disgusting, and I am sooooo incredibly sick of people who are NOT natural moms talking all about us, our reasons for relinquishing, and our stance on open records.

Yes, there are a FEW moms out there who don't want to be found. However, I don't see why that should negate adoptee rights. There are some people I don't want to talk to, and you know what? If they contact me, I tell them "Sorry, don't want to have anything to do with you." Why can't the same happen in situations where the moms don't want a relationship? Or in situations where the moms contact the adoptees and the adoptees don't want a relationship?

This myth that we need the government to protect us from each other is so damaging and SO insulting.

Answer 23

First off I would like to point out that while I don't know the exact percentage of the women wanting to know the children they surrendered involved in the Harvard study, I do know it  was a study involving women only "In the decades between World War II and the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade decision" (a direct quote). There were a large number of women who didn't want to be involved in the study, so maybe its 100% of women who agreed to be involved. Anyway, that study has no relevance in today's society.

I feel adopted children should have full rights to their biological families medical history but giving them the rights to any other information against the wishes of the birthparents would be an infringement on their rights to privacy.

Some people don't want their pasts brought up and others, well, as cold as it may sound, just dont care to know.

Answer 24

I agree i am an adoptee an am 21 i was told once i turned 21 my records would be released to me WELL GUESS WHAT WRONG i came to find out they lied to me the whole time cause when i tried to get tehm i was told i could only have medical records an that it would cost money. Why on earth would they want me to pay for MY history ugh i think its wrong to hide the information,

Answer 25

I am completely for unsealing the birth/adoption records after the child turns 18.

I only say this because when you unseal adoption records, that also gives the birth parent access to the records, and sometimes birth parents aren't good people, and can be bad for the developing emotions of a child/teen.

In my experience, I was adopted by my grandmother. Until I was about 4, I thought my birth mom was my sister. THen she got mad at my mom and blurted out "She's not your real mom" to me, which hugely confused me. There is a right time, and a right place to tell a child that they are adopted, but not when they're 4 and just learning how to deal with emotions. I had contact with her until I turned 18. Then I got fed up with her lies and cut off all contact with her. She was very emotionally abusive my entire life.

I realize that not all adoptions have such circumstances, I just think that the ones that are, would be much safer if adoption records were sealed until the 18th birthday.