Why is being a housewife looked down upon?

Question

I am a 22 yr old stay at home mom & Navy wife. I cook, clean, and spend my day playing with my 2 1/2 yr old & 1 yr old. So why when I tell my family that we want another baby in a year or so, and that I'm only going to get an occupational therapist assistant degree online, they get all mad and say I'm going nowhere in life?

Since I was a kid my goal was to be a housewife & have kids. I love it! I have a high IQ and could do more but this is what I WANT. My husband is re-enlisting in the Navy soon so we know we will be provided for & we are not on welfare or anything. I don't ask my parents for money, my babies are taken care of and loved. My daughter is a genius and my son is such a great baby.

So why do people make it seem like I am worthless?

Answer 1

I too have been a housewife for 11 years now and I totally understand what you mean. The Lord has given us all a place in this world.  We are to do our jobs in such a way that it glorifies the Lord.  We are also to be content with the place that the Lord has put us.  I have 4 kids and every time that I was pregnant  I would hear of how I was messing up, but the Lord put me here to be the mother of these four wonderful children. Also in the Bible it does state that a home maker is one of the highest callings of the Lord. It takes a special women to take on this role, and just think your lucky enough to be one of them.

Answer 2

They forget how important being a housewife is.  Actually it is one of the most important jobs a woman can have.  I am very blessed to be a stay at home mommy.  I love every minute with my child.  I do make sacrifices but every one of them is worth it.  Do what your husband and you want and don't care what they think.  God Bless!

Answer 3

i think they might be jerks, my family was really pushing for me to be a stay at home mom, i guess it depends on where peoples priorities lie. my father loves money, he wants me to go to work,. my mom loves family, she wants my kids to grow up with mom around. i think alot of the problems with youth is because no one is at home... i am not trying to bag at double working families, i just think it would be nice if everyone was fortunate enough to have a stay at home parent if that is what they wanted to do

Answer 4

I hate it when people say things like that.  They act like you need to go to school right away.  Like it's going anywhere?  I am a stay at home mom too and people just assume we sit around all day watching tv and eating icecream.  I wake up before my husband does, make him coffee and lunch, clean the house, take care of my baby, run errands, make home cooked meals, clean up again after my baby is done playing and taking a nap. And  on top of that, I am pregnant with number two, have morning sickness so bad that I am throwing up constantly.  It really is a hectic job.  It IS a job.  As for your family bugging you about school, well tell them you ahve plenty of time.  IT will always be there.  When I was in college I saw plenty of older people there.  Besdies older people usuallyknow what they want, rather then people fresh out of high school getting degrees for things they dont want to do just to get it over with.  We aren't worthless.  Our families would nto function without us.  Honestly

Answer 5

Blame women's liberation in the 70's.  Back then, women fought very hard to have the right for "equal pay for equal work", and to be able to work as they wished.

Unfortunately, the message got twisted a bit.  It was supposed to be a woman's right to be able to choose whether or not she wanted to work outside the home.  The "choice" part gets overlooked, and the expectation developd that, if a woman had the brains and ability, they were "wasted" at home.

Having been in the work force for 12 years, I left a VERY lucrative job (six figures in the 1980s) to stay at home to raise my family.  I have sometimes regretted the lack of the money, but I NEVER regretted being able to spend those years with my children.  Those are years you never get back.  

If someone looks down on you, just smile. Their opinion is worthless and uninformed.

Answer 6

I'm SO sad that your family isn't supportive of your choices.

(By the way, you are MORE than a housewife, you are a MOM and a homemaker - I think that first word bothers some people...)

I'm a SAHM too, and was teaching before, and have two degrees. My mom was especially supportive, and two out of my three sisters. The third one didn't even want to stay home longer than three weeks after she gave birth, before she wanted to go back to work, so that shows you where she's coming from.

Actually, a lot seems to depend upon where you are from and who is surrounding you. We moved to a big city when our son was 4, and when he began school, there were SO many of us SAHMs, it was really wonderful! We did a lot with the kids, and spent tons of hours volunteering at the school.

Just be glad you are able to do what you have chosen, and what you and your husband agreed upon. Be polite to your negative family members, and just don't get into any disagreements, it's not worth it!

I hope it's worked out for you as it has for us - son is very happy, husband loves the arrangement, and our marriage has gotten stronger.

Answer 7

I have always wondered this myself, because the amount of work you have to do being a stay at home mom is a lot!  I was watching the Tyra Banks show a little while ago and she said that if stay at home mothers got paid, the average salary would be close to $100,000 a year because of all the work they do.  BUT THEY DO IT FOR FREE!  I have always wanted to be a stay at home mother for the simple reason that my mom was and I loved having her volunteer at my school and come on field trips with me, she was literally always there and I think that is why we are so close today.  Just don't listen to them, being a part of your children's lives is a great thing and just because you don't get paid for what you do doesn't make you worthless, you probably have the best job out there!

Answer 8

Basically...because they have NO idea how rewarding it is to stay home and care for your children.  I get that too.  But I think I am blessed to be able to see my children all the time and be the one to care for them.  I just tell people that I am doing what it is important to ME right now and I don't really care what they think of my life.  It is partially the feminist movement that has caused this upset...but partially just because people don't get what being a mother is all about.  Or at least the kind of mother you want to be.  Stand up for yourself and they will start to understand you don't need the lecture.

Answer 9

Here it is, you and hubby are active church members who don't believe in divorce but it happens. It happens a lot! Men and women just up and leave entire families. Being a 22 year old myself and a SAHM i have NEVER been looked down upon. I however have a BS in nursing. I accomplished and obtained my OWN wealth before just recently having a baby. I set high goals for myself. I want my children to be proud of me, not just see me as a SAHM.

Actually most people who aren't college educated are deemed worthless. Its not because your a SAHM but because all you have accomplished is having children. Any moron can do that.

Answer 10

I know exactly what you mean.  I am currently going to a university and have about sixteen months left before I graduate.  While it is important to me to graduate, my husband and I are not going to delay having kids just for that.  We got married 3 months ago, and will be thrilled to find out that we're pregnant, whenever it happens.

I think it's really sad that being a housewife is looked down upon these days.  I guess our culture assumes that if a woman isn't interested in pursuing a career, she must not be an intelligent person or a person who wants to contribute to society.  Now that women are equal to men, apparently they need to do exactly what men do.  While I do believe that men and women are completely equal, they have different roles in life.

What people apparently don't realize is that staying home is the most important thing that a woman can do.  A mother has an astronomical impact on her the lives of her children.  She is the one who will teach them values, morals, and will mostly determine the way that they turn out.  Because of that, I don't understand why we don't praise women who stay home with their children instead of handing them of to an unknown person at a daycare.  

I am so glad that there are still people out there who realize that staying home with children can be a very valuable and rewarding "career."  I hope that you remember that when people make you try to feel worthless.  They simply do not recognize the valuable service that you are performing for society.

Answer 11

Anyone who looks down on it is jealous. They either aren't able to or aren't willing to make the financial sacrifice to stay at home with their kids. Being a stay at home is the hardest, lowest paying, and most rewarding jobs out there! Good for you - your kids are better for it!

Answer 12

You're not worthless at all! Its the parents that abuse the system that bother me....they keep breeding and breeding while they are on welfare and living off of the tax payers money. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a housewife if your husband has a good job that brings in enough money to support the family. I think it would be a good idea to get that occupational therapist asst degree though. Its always good to have some sort of career to fall back on just in case life takes unexpected turns.

Answer 13

Im also 22 married (my husband works sometimes away bu mainly at home) i have worked since leaving school but then iv just had a child and decided to stay at home ...my family is fine and told me i should do whats best althou my hubbys family seem to think im letting him do all the work..(althou we both agreed)...Iv already said that il get a job hen my childs at school (during school hours) they keep saying il not as il be so used to not working and il just sit around!! This does get to me as im the one who does housework etc and my job as a mam is far more important. Even thou other ppl dont think good about it i dont care..as long as im happy, my hubbys happy and most of all my daughters happy then thats all that matters...Just ignore ppls comments if u cant just politly say im forfilling my childhood dream and were all happy

Answer 14

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about other people's thoughts or feelings on the subject. Being a housewife is a TON of work.  It's more than most women and men see it as, until they actually have to do it.

The way I see it, there are tons of women that wish they could have that life, but don't, or can't afford to.  Some women may be jealous.  As long as you are 100% happy with your life and husband and children...why does it matter?

Your family probably just sees it as you are so young to be at home all of the time, however it's not up to your family.  You live your own life, and be happy!!

Good Luck with getting your degree online!  Which online college are you attending?  I'm interested in getting a degree online, possibly.

Answer 15

Well, you're family probably had a different idea and higher expectations, but guess what... their opinions don't matter.  Yes, they are family, and you love them, but you are doing what makes you happy. That is what is important. You, your husband, and your children being happy with your family dynamics.

Being a stay at home mom is a far more important job than most.

Answer 16

I wanted to be a housewife. Then I got to thinking about it. I thought about my friend Kylie who just started working. She has a 4,3, and 1 year old. She hates it. She hadn't worked since she had her oldest. Then I was thinking about it. (only like 10% of marriges work out right? that's the stats.) and ANYTHING can happen. So, if we did for some God foresaken reasons split up..I'd have NOTHING. I'm going to college in next fall. And I havea  job offer near my frt bragg were we will be living. I just don't want my schedule to be ...

Sleep, feed the kids, park, feed kids, exercise, nap, feed kids, park, grocery store if needed, laundry, dishes, then sleep...and anything else needed to be done...

I can't live my life doing JUST that. I think something else needs to be there. And with Modeling I don't have a schedule. I get job calls w/e they need me. (a couple times a week) and make At LEAST $600 a week...so it's not bad.

anyways

if thats wat u want

do it

but id get a couple degrees

or something

at real college

bc they give more credit for that

also ull have something to fall back on if he leaves u or u end up not working out :(

**no offense,...but EVERYONE says "its not an option"....it if this was true, why is the stats so wrong?

We do not believe we will seperate...but it happens...Even someone you love CAN hurt you...and if ur anything like me...if my hubby cheated on me...his *** would be out...

i dont get used or toyed with. like i said..u never know.

Answer 17

Some People think that now women have freedom to go out and provide for the family that they should.

Some see staying at home as lazy and making your man do all the work.

I personally respect housewives because i couldn't do their job.

It's hard work and some people don't see that.

They think if you are not working then you are scrounging.

Some may also see it as a bit old fashioned or like you are a woman trapped with no mind.

This is what you want though and i don't think everyone could do your job so don't worry.

Answer 18

I think for the older generation it's looked down upon because there was really no choice but to be a stay at home mom because there was a lot more difficukty finding jobs as women, and usually felt it was the womans role in life, the younger generation are maybe jealous because they can't but would like to stay at home . just my guess

Stay at home mom and daycare provider, mom of Aubrey 8 months

Answer 19

don't feel bad. try to ignore other peoples rude comments about it (i know its easier said than done). i'm also 22 and i have 2 kids and a 3rd one on the way and i'm a stay at home mom. my family likes to bring me down and belittle me about it also. i finally got sick of it and told everyone 'look we don't ask you guys or anyone else for money or favors and we don't dump our kids on you. this is our decision and we are happy with the way we are living our lives and if you don't like it then you don't have to see us or the kids ever again.'. they were kind of shocked that i blew up at them but it got them to back off of me. people just don't see stay at home moms here the same way they used to and its sad i think. if more women now were stay at home moms i think they would realize just how much work is involved in it and that its not just a 8-9 hour shift, its 24/7. kudos to you for all you do to keep your household going! i know how hard it is some days.

Answer 20

i am also a stay at home wife and mother...just turned 22. i have a 8 month old son and my husband works away from home. its kinda like the military life. and some people look down on me because he's not home all the time. just simply say. i dont want my child raised by a stranger. that's what i say and as long as you are happy taht's really all that matters. you arent depending on other people to help pay the bills. i wouldnt worry about it.