Why is everyone i read about with Asperger Syndrome married?

Question

Every book or youtube video on someone with Asperger's......"i have AS but i have met a wonderful partner....blah blah....oh, and i am a teacher.....lots of hobbies"

In short, they are quite successful, and i am jealous because i have been dxed with AS, but my outcome is very poor. i have almost no friends, no family, and i frequently get depressed. i also come across as quite icy when i don't mean to. i don't know how to interact with people, and people are rather unfriendly towards me. (i think things are going great with someone & it turns out they dont like me)

Answer 1

Something important to remember is that ASD is a spectrum disorder and many people are self-diagnosed. There are also rumors about Bill Gates and Albert Einstein being on the spectrum but to my knowledge, these are all false. If you feel you lack in social skills and would like to improve in this area, you could contact your local autism societies and join social groups for your age. These groups will connect you with others with ASD and you will work on improving your skills together.

There are also books for adults and teens with Aspergers to help guide you through and better understand social situations.

You could also look into RDI therapy. This is an approach to improving relationship abilities.

I understand your resentment. We often feel that all people with ASD should be able to do the same thing. But its not like that, the spectrum is so multifaceted, . Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Try to focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

They're maybe trying to cheer you up, give you hope that you have a possible shot of blah, blah, blah yourself.   Maybe they are being unreasonable--don't let it get to you, either way.  You are you, and whether or not you marry is not the biggest thing in your life--just do the very best you can, and don't worry.

Answer 3

The syndrome manifests itself in different ways.  Their affectations are different than yours, maybe.  

Also there are different levels of Aspergers, all the way from mild to SEVERE.  Bill Gates, of Microsoft, for instance, suffers mildly.

Finally, it may not be entirely YOUr fault.  It might also be some of the people you meet.

Another thing, Apsergers people cope better as they age.  If you are very young, you may still be trying to fit in to your skin.

I think you need to really look at yourself, and at your surroundings.  Look at your qualities and your flaws.  And look also at the qualities and flaws of the people who rejected you in the past.  It might have been a blessing in disguise.

BUT, finally:  If you want friends and/or a partner, then YOU have to go out and find such.  And you have to make yourself as attractive as you can, so that you will be desired.

Answer 4

There are many groups for adults who need social skills, but you have to find them, get to them and honestly want to change.

I'm sorry that you're having issues, but there are many more people with aspergers who do have issues, than those who don't. They just don't get online to complain as much as people get on to brag.

To be honest, you might want to reassess yourself. You describe yourself as 'broken brain', you believe firmly that your outcome is poor, and that comes across to people more than you could know. Try daily to list the positives about yourself. Try to discover some interests and join clubs there. Often intense interests excuse a lot in terms of behaviors in those clubs.

Good luck.