Why is he IGNORING me???

Question

Me and my college sweetheart have recently started back seeing each other though we live 4 hours apart. He loss his job 2 weeks ago and had to move in with his cousin. We just started back talking about 3 months ago. (we met at 18) And we had been talking/texting atleast 3-4 times a day now. Well this weekend I went to visit him so we could iron out the details of how we wanted to proceed (we haven't officially comitted to a relationship) but some things were brought up that he thought I had been dishonest about pertaining to my PAST and an ex and he threw a hissy fit and his whole demeanor changed towards me for the duration of the visit. Now I am back home, and he hasn't called, or texted me since I sent him a heartfelt email telling him how I felt. I know he's stressed being unemployed. But he d**n near chewed my head off about 2 weeks ago for not contacting him 2 consecutive days in a row and I haven't heard from him since SUNDAY afternoon.Whats up with him? Is he giving me the hint that he is done dealing with me? And I refuse to contact him---after I already texted/called/emailed him on Monday. We are BOTH 25 y/o? How should I take this?

Answer 1

I would say hes writing you off. 4 hours is a long distance too, it would be easy to write that off if it was me.

Answer 2

Distance is a real killer in a relationship......

Answer 3

Sounds like a lot of different types of frustrations going on.  Don't take it personal.  The best thing to do IS to call him and if he doesn't answer, leave a message and say "I'm sorry things went a little crazy on my visit, but I still want things to work out between us, but don't want to smother you, so call me when you are ready to talk."

If he doesn't return your call, and if you two are not able to civilly discuss issues without a big blow up, then maybe it wasn't meant to be.  And it might be very hard to deal with, but know that there is someone else out there that will be perfect for you!

Good luck!

Answer 4

he might be with another woman and you dont need him if he is going to be like that you can find someone better then that

Answer 5

Look for a new boyfriend.

Answer 6

he has shown you what his true nature is like, how you choose to proceed is up to you, but dont move any further with him if you arent prepared to deal with this in the future... this is who he is, people rarely change that.  

Answer 7

Move on.  If he can't deal with your past, or get over things in the past he won't ever.

It's OK for him to not contact you, but when you don't he goes nuts?  Not a great situation there.  

Seems he might be over-possesive, controling and self-centered.

Find someone else.

Answer 8

He sounds really immature and is clearly upset by something in your past. If he's not willing to move on and not focus on things that happened a long time ago, then it's time for YOU to move out. Anyway, do not contact him again and just assume the two of you are over. I know he will reach out to you as soon as you stop initiating contact, so see how that goes. I would write him off though - doesn't sound like he's ready for any type of relationship, especially long distance.

Answer 9

It sounds as though whatever news you gave him, he didn't like.  I would give him time to figure out if he really wants to be with you, sounds like he may already have it set in his mind that you are not going to be together.  Best of luck!!

Answer 10

I think he is writing you off.

He jumped on you because he was looking for an out and used what you told him to his advantage.

Let him pursue you if he wants to and if he does I would not jump to go see him. He had no right treating you like that after you made so much effort.

  Take care and good luck!.

Answer 11

I think that sometime when you are free you should go and talk to him again, and tell him how you honestly feel, and that you love and care about him, and say "if you want to breakup then that's your choice, but it was the PAST and i was being honest"(if you were actually being honest). If you weren't being honest then say "The reason I didn't tell you about this is because I was embarrassed".(or however you feel) I hope everything works out between you two. Good Luck! :)

Answer 12

i would say that he is done.  i would let him contact you if he wants to have an adult conversation about all of this.

Answer 13

He might be chronologically 25, but he's acting like he's about 12...and you have to stop and think about whether or not you want to be involved with someone that is THAT immature!

If it were me personally, I'd write this guy off.  He's giving very clear signals that he's a control freak at best...an abuser more likely.  Is that REALLY the type of relationship you want to be in??  There are far better people in the world, believe me!

PS - Ex's are ex's for a reason, you know.

Answer 14

Uh maybe he is not ready to change his entire life for a LIAR?!?!

I know, crazy as it sounds.....it might make sense.

Answer 15

i would say that this is pretty much doomed from the start.  1.  it's long distance.  4 hours is a long way and it would get old for me to be travelling that much to see a significant other.  it sounds terrible, but a lot of people would feel that way.  2.  he seems immature and not in touch with his feelings.  do you want to deal with emotional unavailability?  3.  he sounds like loosing his job hit him hard.  do you want to be his "whipping girl" because of it.  i would leave him alone right now.  as an encore, neither of you communicate particularly well and you have denigrated down into the "i refuse to call, make him/her call first" game.  what are you getting positive out of this?  doesn't sound like a lot.  i would find someone closer to home.

Answer 16

I would say "Hes just not that into you" and cut your losses..

Answer 17

I would not contact him again. you did what you could and now the ball is in his hands. he sounds a little out of control. I hope he never got violent towards you. if he did then run away from him like fire and find someone else. why is it his business what you did with your ex? did you cheat or do something wrong? if you didn't he shouldn't care about your ex and if he does and gets all jealous it is a very bad sign for future abusive behavior.