Why is he playing with my head?

Question

I'm a sophomore and he's a junior. He's been like my best friend for 1 1/2 years. I can tell him anything. We are really flirty with each other and a lot of times people think we are going out. I do like him, but I could never go out with him because I am too afraid of losing my best friend. Lately, he has kinda been pushing me away and pulling me back, like one day he will be like "Let's hang out, I miss you" and the next I'll say "Let's hang out" and he'll say, "I don't know, maybe." I know it doesn't sound like much, but there is more.

What the heck?

Answer 1

I remember this age, people go through alot of changes and ups, downs, etc etc.  Maybe you should draw the line, and cut out the flirting. Maybe he is confused and thats why he does the pulling back. Give him his space~!  Dont over analyse everything..Im thinking the flirting aspect confuses the relationship.  If you want my opinion, dating can ruin the relationship, Ive seen it happen...

Youre right there is something going on with him though..just be his friend!  Perhaps he will open up to you

Answer 2

Based on what you wrote his action is typical of normal human behavior. Maybe if you had indicated the rest of  his actions, it would have made it easier to assess it and give you a more rational and sound response. Since you said you do not want to date him romantically, why don't you simply ask him why he seems to be sending you mixed signals about doing things together.Plus you guys have to re- evaluate the flirty actions;it is possible it is going too far and giving the wrong signals too. Talk to him.

Answer 3

Okay, this is from my previous experience with a girl. There is a good chance you won't loose a guy as a friend from asking him out unless, not kidding, your ugly. If you're somewhere between okay and hott and you think he likes you then go for it. Even if he turns you down, he's still going to like it that you like him.

Answer 4

That's definitely a downside to being a female, having to deal with behavior like that.  It's great that you've started a foundation on friendship.  That makes everything so much easier and as hard as it may be to believe, it's true.  But, that's typical guy behavior.  I know confrontation isn't easy, but it's the most direct way to find out his true feelings.  Maybe try talking to him about feelings just as friends.  It sounds like you two have quite the developed bond.  That's really something special.  If you prefer not to talk to him about that though, try finding another one of his close friends who might know the key to getting him to open up or just one who knows what's going on with him.  He may feel the same way, but doesn't want to put your relationship as friends at risk.  That wouldn't be uncommon.  You really shouldn't have to deal with this confusion, but that's life and that's all I can tell you.  Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

I think he only wants to hang out when its conveinent for him. Idk mayber you should look for a different guy and just stay friends with this one

Answer 6

Well sounds like he really just wants to be friends.. but then again.. he could feel the same way you do. (:

so ask him to a movie and just make a move.

if you both dont like it.. pretend it never happened and move on.

if your into it.. maybe it was meant to be.  

Answer 7

maybe he's indecisive about your relationship. like he wants to be friends and knows you want to be friends, so he'll hang out. but then sometimes he feels more, doesnt know what to do knowing that you want to be friends, and tries to stay away hoping your effect on him will wear off.

Answer 8

From what little you related, it sounds as though he: a) wants to remain friends but has no romantic feelings, yet he senses that you might. b) has deeper feelings for you but like you, is afraid of damaging or losing your friendship. c) would like to be more than friends, but is unsure how you feel, plus had ambivalent feelings of his own because of b).

Since you said you two are flirty, I would venture to say it is either b) or c).  

You will have to gage what is going on and maybe listen to your woman's intuition on this one. Good luck to you!