Question:

Why is he "stringing me along" when it would be EASIER if he just dumped me completely?

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My 16-year-old friend was sent to "intensive outpatient" drug rehab for 4 weeks for marijuana addiction. He was also sent into foster care at the same time for 3 months.

He "gets out" of foster care in 3 weeks on sept 19th.

He says his foster mom is "very anal" and wont let him hang out or call me since im in my late 20's.

However, he started dating a 23-year-old 'recovering' crystal-meth addict whom he found from his drug-rehab group therapy sessions. His foster mom allows that relationship (sleepovers/s*x intercourse) but not my relationship with him.

I've always been clean and sober.

A wise man once said: "Even prisoners are allowed to make-and-receive phone calls"; however, he says hes not allowed to see/call me until after foster care.

Why doesnt he just end it and dump me instead of playing games? The longer he throws out "hope" the more agonizing it is and it's breaking my heart.

What hurts the most is that he's allowed to hang out with other friends (his age) and I know that he could easily use one of their cell phones to call me if he really wanted to.

Again, so why doesnt he just dump me as a friend and remove me from his myspace?

I sent him an email on myspace this afternoon; however, when he logged on he added some new friends but didnt even bother to open up and read my email. So I know he saw my email that I sent and he made a conscious decison not to open it.

Maybe he will read it the next time he logs on, but obviouisly I'm no longer the priority I used to be.

I know that he's bi-polar, but he's taking meds to treat it, so he should still show me respect. He also has ADD, anxiety, fear of failure, and is a high school dropout, his parents never married and are split up, and he now works at mcdonalds.

When I went to see him at his work he basically acknowldged my presence for 5 seconds and then wouldnt come out to talk to me. He basically went in the back hiding.

My question is: Why doesnt he just tell me the truth about why he's AVOIDING me and making himself distant? Why not just dump me as a friend so I dont go through all this heart brokenness?

Obviously, I care about him very much and he's not giving 2 s*** anymore about how I feel.

He use to call ALL the time before he went to court-ordered rehab (they treatened him with jail) and foster care.

Do you think he will contact me when he "gets out of foster care" next month, or is he blowing me off because he has a new bf or some other reason?

He responded to my email last month, in capital letters, saying he "MISSES ME" and that we should "hang out when he gets out of foster care."

Why is he stringing me along? I cant take it.

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6 ANSWERS


  1. leave him to it .he will contact you when he is ready. he might be needing some space


  2. And whats wrong with you just ending it? I mean if your clean you had to of known he was into the drugs before you started dating or whatever..

    I'd say if your not dating someone else from the same clinic then maybe you need to stop TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD and pick up your standards. just my thoughts

  3. just forget about him, hes obviously not worth it, you can do better..

    I'm really sorry but i think he's just not that into you.. you have to move on with your life

  4. ok idk mayb he just really need a friend and is afraid that h**l lose u or something ---but dang u write some long *** **** no afense --    o.0

  5. friends are like waves, let them go but let them come back if it happens in the future, i had a friend that would go off and do crazy things, i just waited and got on with my life at the same time, otherwise you will go nuts. its not all or nothing, things happen in waves.  

  6. What is wrong with you people?  Is it just me or don't you find it a bit odd that a man in his late 20's is worrying about his 16 year old 'friend'.   If I was that lads foster mother I wouldn't let you anywhere near him and would be questioning your motives. Mate you should just stop going after this child and find some friends your own age before you find yourself in some real trouble.  

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