Why is he "stringing me along" when it would hurt less if he would just DUMP me?

Question

My 17-year-old friend was sent to "intensive outpatient" drug rehab for 4 weeks for marijuana addiction. He was also sent into foster care at the same time for 3 months.

16 is age-of-consent in michigan.

He says his foster mom is "very anal" and wont let him hang out or call me since im in my late 20's.

However, he started dating a 23-year-old 'recovering' crystal-meth addict whom he found from his drug-rehab group therapy sessions. His foster mom allows that relationship (sleepovers/s*x intercourse) but not my relationship with him.

I've always been clean and sober. He said he "MISSES ME" in an email from last month, and that we should "still hang out when he gets out of foster care."

A wise man once said: "Even prisoners are allowed to make-and-receive phone calls"; however, he says hes not allowed to see/call me until after foster care.

Why doesnt he just end it and dump me instead of playing games? The longer he throws out "hope" the more agonizing it is and it's breaking my heart.

He's allowed to hang out with other friends (his age) and I know that he could easily use one of their cell phones to call me if he really wanted to.

So why doesnt he just dump me as a friend and remove me from his private myspace?

I sent him an email on myspace this afternoon; however, when he logged on he added some new friends but didnt even bother to open up and read my email.

He's bi-polar and also has ADD, anxiety, fear of failure, and is a high school dropout, his parents never married and are split up, and he now works at mcdonalds.

When I went to see him at his work , unannounced, he basically acknowldged my presence for 5 seconds and then wouldnt come out to talk to me. He basically went in the back hiding.

Why doesnt he just tell me the truth about why he's AVOIDING me and distancing himself?

Obviously, I care about him very much and he's not giving 2 s*** anymore about how I feel.

Is it over? Why is he blowing me off?

Why is he stringing me along?

Answer 1

It's called "having your cake and eating it"

He doesn't actually want you, but like any commodity, will not toss you away just in case some day you could be useful.

Answer 2

You've already asked this question and had many replies. Okay, we now know your relationship is not illegal in your state, but the fact is your 16 year old has many problems, and it seems he no longer wants you as part of the solution. He already has a new, younger boyfriend. He is too immature and strung out to discuss it with you one-to-one – at the moment, anyway. Accept that. Who knows, he may still contact you. Let him sort this out in his own way. You will achieve nothing by obsessing over it, except make yourself even more unhappy. But it really looks like your relationship if it is to survive, will be friendship only, and probably much less than you want.

You may get some sympathy here, but there's nothing any of us can do to help. It's ultimately between you and him.

I still recommend counseling for you. He's not the only one with mental issues.