Why is it in relationships I’ve been in, I’ve found that she has a different understanding of money?

Question

It is usually my earnings/nest egg that she considerers as our money, where as her money is a private matter, what is that?

Do you understand this?

Answer 1

I think maybe you having been going out with the wrong type of girls! My boyfriend and I both put a set amount away into a joint account each month for bills\mortgage and then whatever is left from our individual salaries is our own to do with as we please (for example I save some of mine) although I did pay the deposit on our flat as I already had a flat and made some money from it and my boyfriend didn't have any to put down. However if we were to split I would get my deposit money back before we split the difference in half.

Get a woman who can support herself without having to even consider your earnings and I think that'll sort your problem :-)

EDIT: Also I'd feel really guilty if my boyfriend paid for everything all the time!

He's hoping that I'm going to earn loads in the future so we can get a small holding and he can stay at home and look after the animals all day (for look after the animals read play on the Xbox!) :-)

Answer 2

yes it seems a womans view on money is that it has to be "put away" or spent before he can god knows go bowling or something

Answer 3

It's called 'What is yours is mine and what's mine is mine'.

A common female symptom - usually cured by hiding your money in another bank account that she doesn't know about.

TRUST ME on that one

Answer 4

no i dont understand it and im a woman. I have been in a relationship like that except it was my earnings that were used & I got fed up of it. Its a give and take situation , both should share the responsibilities not just one. She prob just wants to use it to buy shoes and make up.  Either she starts to use her own money or if the strain is on you all the time it will come to the point of breaking , something has got to give.

Answer 5

h**l, I wish I could find a man like you. My ex-husband lives in one of my houses and I pay all the bills. I would be satisfy with him paying half. However, the only reason I settle for paying the bills is because he keeps the kids when I'm out of town. I'm a general contractor and is out of state a lot.

In my other house, my boyfriend do try to help however he's not legal in this country. He helps whenever he can. Sometimes he makes a lot of money and sometimes he don't. Again, I pay all the bills and he owes me so much money from me buying him a truck. I bought 5 trucks and now he want me to sale the one I bought for him and he wants to buy one of the other one. Crazy Mexican or I'm a crazy puertoricana.

Now my other boyfriend, he always tell me that he is going to help me but he don't. He lives with his cousin and doesn't have anything but his car.

They are all in different states. I'm still searching for my real soulmate one who believe that the woman should take care of the money and the kids however, I will never stop working.

Now in answering your question, many women feel that they should take care of the money because when you and the kids need something the money is there and/or when you leave her she won't be left broke.

Even if she wants to keep her money private since you do share your money with her, whenever you need money she needs to come through for you. There's no need to let her use you either.

Answer 6

most women value money above all else

but it's US who are shallow

Answer 7

That's what being an independent women means. I blame Destineys Child personally.

Answer 8

There's too many good women out there to put up with a bad one for even 5 minutes.

I would lose a woman like that so fast it would take a week for it to sink in.  I believe in the "two way street" theory for most things in life.  That means the rules apply equally, no one sided BS.

If any woman seriously thought we would share my money, especially a nest egg I had created before the relationship,  and hers was a private matter I would begin putting her stuff out on the street immediately and call her mommy to come get her because she obviously still needs to be taken care of like a baby.

Answer 9

well this is understandable only once you are married...you as the man are the food and habitat provider therefore your money is our money...

...now if the wife decides to work additionally to looking after you and your home and earns money ... that is her money....lol...

ok...this is as per Islam...lol...

now for real...

...we just testing our boundaries...see if we can get away with this kind of logic...

...usually we can if we are very pretty...s**y...and most of all good with our tongue...lol...

...take the last one literally or figuratively...dont mind...lol...

Answer 10

as long as the money is used for the betterment of the family it does not matter as long as ur together

Answer 11

It's not a woman thing, it's a selfish people thing.

Some women are selfish, some men are selfish.

I've been in relationships before where he thought "what's yours is mine, what's mine is mine". My current partner earns significantly more than I do, but I certainly wouldn't let him pay for everything. We pay equally for everything. .

Answer 12

I've usually made more money than my partner-so its usually our money since they don't have very much to work with.

Answer 13

Thats not how it should be. Tilly is right, perhaps you are going out with the wrong type of girls. An independent woman knows how to respect her money as well as someone else's so the girls you are going out with are not independent and have nothing in common with Destiny's Child!

I think some people just find it easier to spend someone else's money and not always just woman!

Answer 14

She may be under the impression that you are the soul provider in your relationship. In my relationships he pays the bills and my money is my money, and he never had a problem with it. However, this is something you need to discuss with her.

Answer 15

This is coming from a women, and this is what I believe it to be.  Even though us women have more oppritunities to make money and do for ourselves than our grandmothers, great grandmothers, (depending on the age of anyone reading this) has had, society still expects the man to take care of the women.  MEn still make more, women are still expected to be the ones to take care of the children, take off of quit their jobs because of the children and so forth.  Because of this, I believe many women feel that what they make is theirs and it's usually less than the husbands/boyfriend and the women usually have breaks inbetween their jobs.  When I have worked, my money usually went towards things like daycare, clothing for the kids, groceries, my things, while his money went towards the rent, electricity, water, car, ect.  But then again, he's always made more than me.