Why is it only my parents like this?

Question

the way in which my parents are different to others and as parents and our relationship plus other more serious issues and probs with my dad,they are not easy if impossible to talk to and tell about boyfriends,they don't take a interest and involvement nor include that person in our family,for what its worth,i also feel lots of things about a guy knowing them and being around them anyway especially my dad,so because of all this i also can't v=bring a guy home/around with me and feel affected/on edge doing all the other sorts of things too,everyone trys to be nice and offer me advice solutions,and i suppose theres no point in me sitting putting my life on hold thinking oh i wish they could be the way they should,but i find it very hard,because for what parents they are and what involvement we have together i feel they should know and i should want them to know and feel able to involve them av=bout things in my life,this is all made harder cause i live at home,and although when i move i am 28 by the way,it will release alot of the pressures and worry etc i have, they are still the same,and not much will change about me being able to involve them with a guy/s nor will they want to know and will still be hard for me to want a guy to know my dad and take him around with me,how do i deal with this.

some say regardless of living at home they should know and be involved and you should get on with it freely and have him/bring him round etc,and show you are a adult. But although i can get on with certain things,in regards to them taking part and me being able to have the guy around them at there home or other things is down to there approval and allowance,as it would cause alot of problems if i did those things when they are the way they are,also would bring me alot of anxiousness and embarrassment . Some say just get on with it and ,let things unfold in there own way,but i find it so hard when i look at all my mates,somewho even live down my street and still live at home,but i know there parents are completely diff people /parents and haver a diff relationship-better one with there sons/daughters,also don't have same probs. i do look around and know what makes other parents the way they are about things but then realise thats not a excuse for the way mine are,cause no matter all the differences between the parents in each family,even some whom have or had serious isues or problems there has all been on e thing in common all there daughters and sons have all wanted to and be able to involve and include there partners with there parents,parents wanted to too,and did all the usual stuff so it really is only me like this which males me very unhappy

Answer 1

you typed allot!

Answer 2

You should ask this advice at Jamrie.com

People on that website, should help you out.

I go on it all the time!

Answer 3

Look sweetie.  Post this question again.  break it down into sections and dont ramble.

It is impossible to answer this because its almost impossible to understand what you are saying.

Answer 4

Consult a relative about family problem, not on yahoo so that the family thing lives inside the family.

That's the advice you should use.  

Answer 5

i thought long and hard about your situation. there seems to be no easy answer. i would want to know why they are not the least bit interested in your companions (so i'd ask). however, regardless of the reason and if they did not choose to change their ways concerning this issue, i personally would ignore/avoid them in hopes they would finally take serious my pain. if they still chose not to change in taking interest in my other half, i would have to then continue on ignoring them and what's going on in their lives unless they did want to be part of my life/whole life.your going to have to put your foot down somewhere. i can tell you love your parents. perhaps they'll appreciate how strongly you feel about this. i wish you well in a remedy.

Answer 6

Whew, Ruby I don't know where to start. But first, if you have an old English textbook lying around, please look up the section about run-on sentences.

Anyway, 28 years old and still at home is kind of unusual. If you've brought several boyfriends home over that amount of time and they didn't work out, your parents may just be skeptical that the next one is worth getting to know.  I know when my daughter was dating it seemed to hurt us parents more than it hurt her when she broke up with a guy. I'm exaggerating of course, but it does hurt a lot. I have gone to the effort to get to know the guy and like him and suddenly he's gone as if he died. I can no longer have any contact with him without offending my daughter.  Maybe your parents are just playing it safe?

Another possibility is they don't want to intrude. As a parent I sometimes felt awkward involving myself in their time together. It depends a lot on the guy.  Some guys have been overly chatty trying to impress me. Others have made it clear by their body language that they wanted nothing to do with me.  It's not always easy for parents to figure out what to do.

It's also possible that your parents are just basically shy people and this is one aspect they can't change.

I'm betting when you meet "the one" they will eventually warm up to him.  Hang in there.