Why is it so bad to say it's MY baby?

Question

i posted a question and i kept saying my baby and i got heat for that. the father left us walked out on us, said he'll be there for the both of us even though we are not together. he now is with someone else. havent heard from him. said he'll be there once the baby is born.

so i carry this child, through 9 months... go through my pregnancy ALONE... while he's out having the time of his life.... and i'm wrong for saying it's my baby? how is it wrong? i know his fatherhood has yet to be proven but i still feel that this baby is more mine then his...

Answer 1

I can only speak for myself but I think that all women feel that way.  Deep down our children feel like they are more mine than his!  I have been happily married for almost 5 years and I am pregnant with our second child...he is a wonderful father and takes very good care of us, and I cannot help it, but I still feel like my children are more mine that his (:  They are a part of me, that I created, nurtured and care for and while I dont deny him any part of being a father, they will always be a part of me, that he could never understand.  Carrying a child, feeling them move inside of you, giving birth, breastfeeding and bonding...there is just no replacement to that.  I am not claiming that fathers cant love their children or dont bond with them, it is just not the same as a mothers bond.  Good Luck and stop listening to what other people say.  

Answer 2

I don't know why it's anyones business, I would never be rude enough or have big enough b*lls to tell anyone that they shouldn't say "My Baby"

Answer 3

It is your baby.  It's not 'your" baby, if he wanted that title maybe he should have stuck around even though you we're just pregnant.

And don't think of it as "he's having the time of his life" either.  That's going to create resentment for the child.  Sad but true.

Answer 4

Ignore ignorant people.  I'm happily married and still have the tendency to say "my baby" if someone specifically asks me a question.  I couldn't care less if they think its selfish or has deeper meaning.  Its just the context that I happen to be using at that moment.  Nothing more.  I mean, when people approach you, they don't say, "Awww.  How old is that baby that was created by two people?"  lol  Nope, they just say, "Awwww, How old is YOUR baby.".  You know what I mean?

Given your situation, you have every right and then some to refer to your child as YOUR child.  Like someone else said, at this point and time, your ex is nothing more than a sperm donor.

Many blessings to you and YOUR baby!  (I hope she/he really is born on Valentine's Day.  That's super cute.)

Answer 5

technically it is YOUR baby.  If he is just going to be a rude jerk about it then that's his fault.  You don't even have to have him in the delivery room if you don't want him to.

Answer 6

It is YOUR baby. Even if it's also HIS baby, it doesn't stop him/her from being YOURS as well. I refer to MY baby all the time, and his father is very much a part of this pregnancy.  People just need reasons to be critical of others. Don't sweat it. Good luck!  

Answer 7

My husband and I are married and I still tell him that I have to go pick up My kids or what ever!! He will look at me and go "your kids?"  I think I woman thinks of her child as hers weather she is with the father or not!  And it is your baby until he proves otherwise!  Remember, If you don't need his money, if you leave his name off the birth certificate and don't do everything to "prove" he is the father, it will be a lot easier to terminate his rights when you do find a man to stand by you. Don't deny him the chance to see his baby, but don't call and harass him about it either!! If you want more info on that, just e-mail me!!  

Answer 8

h**l yea that's your baby, your the one carrying it and going to deliver it. he for now has no part in the baby's life and probably never will. i say it's your baby and until he pays child support and gets into that baby's dad then it can be his too

Answer 9

depends on exactly what you said. I see nothing wrong with saying it's your baby but i didn't read the question your talking about either. the way it's worded can make all the difference.  

Answer 10

It is your baby there is nothing wrong with you saying that.

Answer 11

Nothing wrong with that.  No more different than raising an adopted child up from a little one onward.....you did the work, you should have the right to call it yours (and it calling you mom) as it has known no other.   What is a mother but the one who nutures and feeds and protects?  But you are not at that point.

     But, in the womb...there is no way the father can help during that time period.    All he can do is go and work and make money and gather the additional requirements for the extra mouth to feed.   Right now, he feels useless.

  You are tempermental(and you can seperate those words (you got a temper, and you are  "mental" at times)  Hormones.  It is stressful for him too.   Best that he be away, to keep the marriage together.

     Some use to go off to logging or mining camps just to make good money for a short term.

    He hasn't had his chance to put in his work shift yet and won't(I have yet to see a guy's mammaries fill with milk) so he is kinda useless there.    But the raging hormones will have subsided in you and make life liveable with you again.

Answer 12

The exact same thing happened to me and *MY* baby lol. It is from you, you are now the only one responsible for the baby, and he's a father, not a daddy. My baby won't have a daddy, but she/he'll have the best Pop and Papaw (my step-daddy and grandfather) this side of the Mississippi River.

Answer 13

I wouldn't worry about what other people think to much. Being a mother is alot of instinct and comes natural. Enjoy it don't let the fathers actions mar such a wonderful thing.

Answer 14

My son is 9 months old, his dad is still in the picture and i STILL call him my baby... which he is. you are carrying this baby and he is 1/2 you... you have every right in the world to call it YOUR baby! Dont listen to what other people say, its YOUR baby so you can call it whatever you want!!!

Answer 15

I agree with you it is def 100% your baby. Your the one that has been carrying the baby and the one that will put clothes on his or her back and food in there belly. Don't take what every one says on here to heart i have posted a few things and gotten a rude remark and those people are just dumb and don't understand you. I know it hurts, those people have no idea what your going through and never will unless they have been through it. Even if your with the guy a mother feels more connected because you get to feel them all the time before they are even born and father does not get that connection and you get to carry the miracle in your stomach and care from the get go. I am with the father of my 5month and i still say my baby from time to time. I connected in a way with her that he will never be able to. I am not saying he wont love her, just i dont believe will ever have the same connection.

Just relax and enjoy! CONGRATS!

Answer 16

Don't worry about what they all say. There is nothing wrong with you saying "my baby". On here you will catch h**l for just about anything.  If he has made the decision not to be a part of your pregnancy then you have every right to refer to the baby as your baby.   The people giving you c**p over this are probably the same people that walk around say we are pregnant. Well I don't know about them but there was no we when I was hanging over the toilet puking my guts up.  Or when I was in 36 hours of labor to only end up having a c-section. Any way don't worry about them. There will always be someone that has to find something to gripe about.  

Answer 17

i agree 100% my baby is my baby aswell.. and you know what she still would have been my baby even if i were with someone.. i carry her i give birth... = my baby

Answer 18

it is your baby. Walk tall and say "MY BABY" all you want!

Answer 19

d**n right you can call the baby yours. Any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy. I wish you all the best for the future and I'll sure you'll do better alone that with a total loser. xx

Answer 20

i think its fine! its ur baby so y cant u call it tat? i agree with u 100%! :D

Answer 21

No, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. You've got to earn the title of "Daddy" otherwise he is just a sperm donor. A valentine's day baby - cool!

Answer 22

Go ahead. You've done all the work.

Answer 23

No, you're right.  It's your baby.