Why is it so difficult for my wedding party to get their act straight?

Question

I just don't have the patience to bother them and have to deal with their whining.

2 of the 4 bridesmaids didn't order their dresses 8 months ago when I asked them to. The dress was discontinued. They picked new one in my colors. 1 bridesmaid and her daughter, my flowergirl backed out last week, 15 days before the wedding. I adopted my two favorite neighbor girls and bought them dresses and shoes this weekend to be Jr. Bridesmaid and flowergirl. NOW the two who didn't order their dresses in time.. one being my own sister/MOH, tells me they don't want white shoes like the others b/c they would never wear them again.

I haven't freaked out once. I don't feel like hearing them whine. I have told them what I want but they snarl. I'm over it and NOT complaining to them, just saying I don't like it, but do whatever. I will look great.

Why is it so difficult for my wedding party to get their act straight? It's MY wedding, not theirs.

Answer 1

Everyone involved in my wedding as helpful, thoughtful and kind. Why? because I am, and my husband is, and so our relationships are profound. If people love you they want you to be happy and they fall over themselves to make it so, just as you have for them in the past.

I don't think your wedding party have failed to 'get their act straight' . I can tell by the tone of your post why you are having problems.

Answer 2

tell them to do what they are supposed to or they can attend the wedding as a guest.  It'll either set them straight, or they'll back out. Either way the stress is off of you.

By the way I have seen weddings where there are 6 groomsmen and 3 brides maids, or 7 brides maids and 3 groomsmen.  It's not a big deal, i didn't even notice (from pictures) until someone pointed out that it was unbalanced.  So don't worry.  Do whatever it takes to get the stress off of you.

Good luck and Congrats!

p.s. can you afford the purchase the shoes?  Then they can't say a thing about not liking them.  Also mention that when they agreed to be in your wedding party they agreed to the white shoes, and it's too late to change it. again, good luck hun!

Answer 3

I'm SHOCKED that your sister and the other bridesmaid who waited so long to get their dresses that they were discontinued in the meantime would DARE to complain about ONE MORE LITTLE THING! They should be bending over backwards to make sure they don't s***w up again. I think you picked the WRONG Maid of Honor, for one thing.

As for re-wearing, the dress is one thing. But you can get cheap shoes, wear them once and pass them on. I can't believe they are going to complain about that, of all things. It's not as though you are getting them Manolos (are you?)!

Answer 4

Tell your sis to get fabric white shoes that can be dyed later.

Answer 5

I once read somewhere there is an old superstition that quitting or causing disharmony while part of a wedding party will bring bad luck upon yourself.   Everyone looks at the bride, so as long as you look good, to he** with the rest of them.

Congratulations and enjoy your wedding

Answer 6

wow..sounds so complicated..what i would do is just call everyone up for a little meeting and get things straight. hand out lists and expectations, and say that whoever isn't feeling so sure may just refrain from trying and taking up your time. ask more of your friends or family to help organize and take charge of the younger groups. have your mom join in. moms do magic (=

Answer 7

Because to them, this pivotal moment in YOUR life doesn't mean as much.

Answer 8

Just let them wear whatever white shoes they want. They can either get comfortable, dyeable ones, or they can get fashionable ones. Either way it's their conscience that has to live with it if they can't wear them again, not yours. Not that that's likely to help, since they don't seem very motivated to deal with their costume...

Answer 9

Wow.  It sounds like you have some spacecadettes in your bridal party.  I would call these girls and tell them that you are stressed and have no time to make changes so unless they can put their feelings aside, then you need them to step down because they are making your already stressful life just more stressful.