Why is it so difficult to find a woman who wants to be treated with respect?

Question

I'm not trying to start controversy here. It's a legitimate question.

Everywhere I go, all over America, I meet women of all ages, races, incomes, social classes, degrees of intelligence, and degrees of physical attractiveness. 99% of them have one thing in common: if you give them the choice between being treated with respect, or being with a man who is loud, ignorant, and just obnoxious in general, they will choose the latter.

Why do most women want that . . . and how can I find that 1% who wants to be with a man who is good to her?

It would be easier to just turn into another vapid loser that women love, but I'm not lowering my standards and selling-out.

Answer 1

Its said that women love the bad-*** type. Its also said that they seem to love the a*****e type without even trying.  They are at times inter-changeable.  The bottom line is this, the mind is a very complicated entity, and no one will be able to tell you with any certainty. All you can do is continue to search and hope you find that 1% sometime soon.

Answer 2

Why is it so hard to find a woman that wants to be treated with respect?

SIMPLE!

Because they are as rare as guys that actually WANT to treat women with respect!

Answer 3

all has to do with the way society is behaving overall

i am a male.

but in my experienece with female friends, they, although they may seem more confident than men when it comes to approaching a man or love stuff in general, they have their insecurities. in the end we (men) have forced women to be the way they're broadly are nowadays.

women try not to be punks or freaks they are just trying to go along with the rythm of today's life. i kno i may have not made a study about how many men prefer extroverted or gone wild women; conversely, i can assure that such number is bigger. for instance, i went out with a girl i deeply fell for. we went out to have dinner then i took her to the beach and we were talking and getting to know each other. to be honest, i was really in love with her that i swear to god s*x was not what was going through my mind as i was hanging out with her. i was in love. when i took her back home we kissed said good bye with a cheek kiss.  next day i call the girl of my dreams to schedule another date. she told me she was not ready for serious relationship, and that she had accepted my date because she thought i wnated to get into her pants. also, she confessed me that this was the first time in her ten guys she had dated that she was treated like she was some sort of fairy tale princess. she did not enjoy it.

see my point

Answer 4

I am currently married to a wonderful, s**y woman.  

I dated many many women in the past.

I think you may be on to something, because I am kind of an a**hole.    

Answer 5

I always get the impression that the men who ask these questions have no idea how to talk to, be comfortable with, or treat women - so they blame all of their romantic troubles on us. All the women you meet are pathetic and foolish? The thing in common here, buddy, is YOU. If you don't have the confidence to approach a woman and keep her attention, it doesn't matter how sweet and nice you are.

99%? Seriously? 99% of the women that I know want to be treated with respect and will settle for nothing less.

Where are you meeting these women, meat-market bars? Not the best place to find someone. Join a church, or a volunteer group, or a book club, or a professional organization, or a recreational sports team. Be confident and make the first move. Start a conversation. Don't sit around waiting for her to notice how "nice" you are. She doesn't need a doormat - she can get one of those at Pottery Barn.

Women with self-respect don't bother with drunken hook-ups. They are too busy leading productive lives.

Answer 6

although i don't agree with your viewpoint and you (assumed) lack of success with women prob has mor eto do w/ your opinion of them as 'sellouts', sadly, after observing men their whole life, many women give up on that type of respect and are willing to settle for less. and if they grew up seeing friends boyfirends, male relatives, fathers, you name it who treated their women without respect, subconsciously that's all they'll really expect.

all women want to be with a man who is good to them; many just have trouble recognizing it when he's not.

Answer 7

Anyone who could definitively answer your question would have advice worth billions of dollars.

Unfortunately, I don't think there *is* an answer.

Answer 8

i want to be treated with respect! come to england :) lol im sure there is plenty in america too, maybe you go for the wrong girls? i think its because sometimes when a guy comes on too soon and starts to treat a girl with lots of respect and decency straigh away its a turn off,i know from experience and somehow after being in a relationship for a while thats all girls want(respect), and then sometimes its too late.

good for you for not lowering your standards. Just keep your cool and dont go too heavy too soon, its a turn on and when girls are falling for you thats when girls like to be treated nice.

yea its kinder ******* up lol

i dont know if this counts for all women but it does with me

x

Answer 9

Where are you meeting these women? I want a man that respects me and wants respect in return.  

Answer 10

well the way i see it,   i dont like to be treated with disrespect.. BUT.. will not be interested in a guy who gives me everything i want right away. i do not want a guy i can walk all over. i like a guy with a little bit of an attitude, and if its being loud at times or being crazy at times then fine,  but the guy has to have a little bit of an attitude, i dont like guys who are super super nice and will kiss my feet whenever i ask.

Answer 11

because many times the latter is seen as "confidence." i dont understand this either but this is what women see. bein treated with respect means havin a man whos too nice and not willin to stand up to anyone

Answer 12

i'm definitely in that 1% so i don't know how you find us cause we're looking for you.  

Answer 13

If by "respect" you mean "unassertive", "shy" and "timid", these are universally seen as feminine traits, not masculine ones.

The problem with "nice" guys is that they often overdo the "nice" part, and they come across as insipid. Women seem to be genetically wired to be drawn to guys who are funny, social, opinionated, and assertive. Guys who think that they are "nive guys" are often passive-agressive types who sulk when their feelings are hurt, rather that speak up and resolve the issue. that is not polite; it is being spineless, and women tend to find that behavior unmanly.

Answer 14

I think when you reach more maturity you won't have to come up with some silly thesis about either one s*x or the other, then you'll attract someone of substance.

Don't label people, and don't be sexist, it makes you look like an ***.  

Answer 15

Where are you meeting these women?  Is it in bars or clubs?  That may be your problem.  They don't seem very bright.  Or maybe they're drunk and are just going with the guy who sticks out the most or seems to pay them the most attention.  

Society in general seems very shallow these days.  I'm afraid that includes women too.  It frequently sickens me to see how many men & women get into quick and easy relationships with each other over shallow things like looks, clothes, etc.  I used to listen to my (female) room mates in horror as they made fervent proclamations about how they would never date anyone who was shorter than they were, had a certain hair color or wore a certain type of clothing.  I always thought, "Who cares about that c**p?  What if he's a really great guy?"  

Unfortunately, the women who think like you do are probably just as sick of the whole dating thing as you are and are probably hiding out on weekends at home with a good book or at the library or something.

Answer 16

Don't be so silly! read your question back to yourself and see how idiotic it sounds!

Answer 17

Man, females respond to the bad boy attitude but you also gotta show some respect to them later on. dude reassure her that you will be a protective force if someone mess with her but don't forget to buy her flowers whenever possible and always listen even if don't really care what she talking about.

Answer 18

Hey! What is wrong about being loud & obnoxious?  Better being the fun guy with the babe than the boring, uptight lonely loser!  Whoo hooo!

So, what is more important to you, being right & alone, or changing your ways somewhat so that you are more attractive to the women? I'm not talking about being someone you are not, but you obviously must be doing something wrong if no woman wants you. The one common denomonator here is you, so you must be what is wrong with your love life.

I found this guy's answer to be enlightening. You're probably not going to like it, but it is probably what you need to hear.  I'll just cut & paste it here:

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...Many women claim that they are "done with dating jerks and looking for a nice guy"... but be warned: what women say they want and what they actually respond to BIOLOGICALLY are often very different things. What it boils down to is that being "nice" is perceived as being weak, and no woman wants a weak man. Women are attracted to men who have alpha male traits...keep in mind that "alpha" is not synonymous with "a**hole". You can be Alpha without being an a***e. Alpha means being confident...not in your abilities to do things, but confident in your IDENTITY, and completely living in your own reality, not supplicating or qualifying yourself to others, not seeking approval from others, not being needy, not bragging or being try-hard.

Women are attracted to men who can demonstrate that they are: 1) leaders of other men (i.e., other men respect and look up to you), 2) willing to emote (somebody spills a drink on you, it's okay to get pisst, rather than say "oh, that's okay"), 3) preselected by (desired by) other women (if other women are interested in you, you MUST have something going on), 4) protectors of loved ones (family, friends, etc). If you can demostrate these facets, you will have more success.

Women are TURNED OFF by weak men, wussies, and the following four demonstrations of lower value: 1) conveying neediness, 2) conveying nervousness, 3) trying too hard to seek approval, and 4) trying too hard to convey value. Think about that. If you do any or all of the above, you are going to be single and lonely for a long time. Conveying neediness can be a very subtle thing that you are not even aware of doing, such as subtle body language cues or framing the words you speak in a way that conveys neediness without consciously speaking that way.

I could go on for pages about what you should and should not do, but instead I will suggest that you check out a couple of books: "The Game" by Neil Strauss is a good place to start, then "The Mystery Method" by Mystery....

Answer 19

I don't think you should change because people want you to. be yourself and one day you'll find what you're looking for . people can change at a blink of an eye one day they want something the other day they change their mind and what you're saying about your self shows how noble you r and changing what you believe in for people will cost you your morals besides you don't need all the women/people to love you. you need one person to love you. and to accept you the way you are