Why is it so hard for me to forgive?

Question

if a person really hurt me i take it to heart and no matter how hard i convince my self that i truly forgive them deep down i really don't i slightly developed a feeling(don't know how to explain. but here are some words.)..grudge,envious,Don't trust,revenge)all at once which makes me paranoid thinking they might do it again.

Answer 1

Well, no matter what, you have to learn to forgive..At the first place, it all comes from yourself..Try to forgive the wrong things that you have done and think about it wisely..Then, try to forgive the other people coz no ones perfect dear.. Hope it helps.. Good luck.. =)

Answer 2

Its not easy letting things go especially if they really hurt us. This is what i like to say, " If god can forgive than so can we".

Answer 3

Okay. Just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean that you lay in the floor to let them walk all over you.  Jesus told Mary Magdeline, I forgive you.  Go forth and sin no more.  We aren't better than Jesus.  What he meant was, you are forgiven of what you did yesterday.  Don't do it any more.  

I know that this is a difficult one to answer, but do you make mistakes?  I became an embittered brat, and my sister made the point to tell me that I was so quick to write people off that I forgot to see that I made mistakes too.  She told me to stop paying attention to how others were treating me, and focus on how I could treat others.  Then, I got so mad at her.  I didn't talk to her for almost a year.  And, do you know that she had the audacity to live her life anyway??  What I'm saying is that the person you refuse to forgive isn't aware of your grudge, and you are the only miserable one.  Just keep telling yourself that.  It helped me a lot.  

Answer 4

Forgiveness is hard because it violates our need for justice and our sense of right and wrong. Forgiveness is also a choice and a process.  It is a choice because often we must choose to forgive even when our feelings of anger or mistrust etc. come back, we must still choose forgiveness. The fact that it is hard is a normal human response.  It is OK for you to feel that way. Give yourself time to walk through the process of forgiving.

Forgiveness doesn't mean letting go of healthy boundaries.

Forgiveness is vital to our health and well-being. Holding onto an offense creates within us a bitterness that is more destructive than any thing another person could do to us. This is a hard lesson I have learned personally. My  life changed drastically after I chose to let go and forgive.