Why is it so hard for parents or anyone to acept that their child is g*y?

Question

Why is it hard for parents or anyone to acept that their child is g*y? What are they afarid of? What would it do to them. dp people belive that g*y people are going to h**l?

Answer 1

There are common stereotypes that over the course of a child's life gets reenforced, like if one were having a daughter, the parents could imagine giving the child away at her wedding, and having children, etc.

The second is what the parents think the community thinks. They worry about how they will be perceived, and in some conservative communities, it could be a reflection on 'bad parenting'.

I'm having my first child soon, and the only expectation I am carrying so far is her to be happy and healthy. This is the only mantra I want repeated - I'll tell you in 18 years if it changes.

Answer 2

They might want grandchildren.

They might assume that since their child is into people of the same s*x as them, there won't be any grandchildren.

Answer 3

Because it weird!! why r u g*y? i think its creepy anyone here think a guy kissing a guy is weird then you've lost it!!!

Answer 4

That is surely a concern, especially for religious people. It's not that they are afraid of anything. Please stop labeling people with "phobias" simply because they don't like it. That is ignorant and rude. You don't like rude people? Does that mean you are afraid of them? It is possible to NOT LIKE something and not be afraid of it. Parents are probably scared FOR their children, rather than afraid OF their children.

Within the g*y community, there is also the lower life expectancy, especially for homosexuals due to the higher rate of STDs than straight men. Tell a parent, "Hey, your child's life is going to be dramatically shortened." and see if they have an easy time accepting that.

Also, it's a natural desire to know your bloodline will continue, and g*y and lesbians cannot produce a child with their same-s*x union alone, unlike heterosexual unions. g*y or L*****n couples cannot reproduce naturally and need outside help, so the child will only carry the blood of one of the couple, so that may cause concern with a parent of a g*y child.

I will ask others to refrain from blasting me with insults if you don't like my comments. I'm just answering the question, and I did try to answer it in earnest. I've provided a link:

Answer 5

No, I don't think their parents think that they are bad.  They just worry that about them having a hard time in life because of the stigma and the fact that the possibilities of illness are higher.  

People can't help what they are born to be.  It's not of their choosing.  

Parents and everyone else should understand this.

Answer 6

there's so many generalizations here.  But one thing you forget, its hard being homosexual.  Parents worry, and theres still quite a bit of sexual discrimination around.

Answer 7

I will give you a candid answer even if it is not the kind of answer I'd generally prefer to give (in view of the fact that I usually try to be diplomatic):

Parents are not "afraid" of anything.  Most normal parents don't consider what it "would do to them".  A very large number of people do not believe g*y people go to h**l.

Most parents have trouble because they had a baby boy or a baby girl, and when they did they began to just take it for granted that the baby boy would grow up and do what the usual thing is, which is, be attracted to girls.  They do the same with their baby girl.  After all, the usual thing is that people are heterosexual.  They tend to date, get married, and have babies the usual way.

For parents to learn their child is g*y it is first a shock, I would think.  I would think, though, most parents hope their child will be "normal" (sorry for the word, but its how many people see things).  When they find out the child is g*y they may be worried that the child will have more challenges in life and society.  They probably feel bad about how long their child has kept this to himself and live in isolation.

There are a whole set of things that come with a person's being g*y that do not come when a person is heterosexual, and most parents prefer their child be heterosexual and just not have to deal with all the other stuff that comes with being g*y.

Parents don't want their children to have struggles more than are the usual ones in life.  They don't want their child to have to struggle with learning in school.  They don't want their child to have to struggle with health problems.  They don't want their child to have to struggle with bullies or social problems.  They just don't want their child to have to struggle, and they don't want their child to have struggles with the very fundamental thing of their identity when - for most people in the world - that one, very fundamental, thing just isn't a struggle.

Parents may look at their babies and small children and think of how much they love them and how much they will do everything possible to give them a wonderful childhood and all the opportunities every child should have.  They have a dream for their child that the child will be a happy child, do well in school, go to college, and eventually marry and have a family and have what they, the parents, had (or more).  It isn't that they want to prove what good parents they are to the neighbors.  They want so much to know their child has every opportunity and has a life that is what they see as normal and happy and successful.

When - in spite of the best parenting possible - a child has trouble in school and may even drop out, parents need to come to grips with the idea that their child will not be participating in the very normal thing of a high school graduation.  They must face the fact that their child may end up with a job that makes financial struggle a way of life.  They are disappointed in their child, but they may be sad for him/her.  Also, they, the parents, have a sense of loss that they won't get to be the parents at the graduation or the parents who know their child will always be financially secure.  It can be the same with the child who is g*y.  Parents can have a sense of loss on behalf of their child and on behalf of themselves, as well.  They don't get to look at the figures on the top of a wedding cake and think of them as their daughter and her husband or their son and his pretty wife.  They don't get to be father of the bride and mother of the groom and do the usual dancing that goes on at weddings.

They won't get to go through watching their child and his/her spouse have a baby together they way most couples do.  So - yes - any sense of sadness or loss they have is not only for their child but for themselves.

They may wonder if they've done something wrong no matter how much they honestly believe otherwise.

Heterosexual people, by virtue of their own heterosexuality - do find it difficult to accept having to watch their child with his/her partner.  Parents can find it difficult to watch their heterosexual child being too affectionate or spending too much time with their boyfriend or girlfriend.  Especially for the parents of daughters, it can just be hard to accept that a child is having a certain type of relationship (especially when they're not married and old fashioned as that may seem).  Add on that the child has a partner of the same s*x, and you have to understand that it is just hard for parents to have to think about too much.

I think there's a chance that it isn't always a matter of parents finding it difficult to accept that their child is g*y.  I think there's a chance that it is more a matter of parents' having to go through the process of adjusting and processing all the things that must be processed once someone finds out that all the things they just kind of took for granted about their child's life must be re-thought and re-prioritized.

There is one thing that all parents of teens (heterosexual or homosexual) are afraid of and that is what kind of disasters or unhealthy situations they could find themselves in if/when they become sexually active too early or when they "take up" with someone who isn't their own age or mentally well adjusted.  I think there's the chance that parents of g*y boys may have more to fear because of some of what can go on with g*y young men.

When my kids were very young I thought out what I would do should they turn out to be g*y.  I had it all figured out just in case.  As each child began to show signs of being pretty heterosexual quite early I will admit to feeling relieved.  Once they grew and appeared to be heterosexual I still would ask myself what I'd do if any of them suddenly told me they were g*y in spite of how they appeared.  I thought that all out as well.  My point is that most parents think about what they'd do if their child were g*y and a good number of them realize they would accept it.  The trouble is, however, that what we think and what we feel and what we want so fervently for our children are all different things.

What could appear as a parent's having difficult accepting that their child is g*y is probably, more often than not, a matter of that parent's just needing to reconcile their thoughts, feelings, and wishes for their child - and only people who are parents know how extremely and overwhelmingly powerful our wishes for our children are.  Uprooting, undoing, rethinking and reorganizing those wishes takes time.

Answer 8

That is a hard question. Parents have such a special bond with their children. The Parent-child bond is classic and irreplaceable, where parents love to watch their babies play sports, succeed, and to teach them everything they know. They want their kids to grow, succeed, and have their own families! But most of all, parent's want their children to be happy. As beautiful as our world is, adults know the cruelty of racism and discrimination that goes on in thisociety. They imagine their kids at their wedding day, in love, having their own children, raising a family like they had so much joy doing. And although they care so much for their children, they know that a much more difficult life is in store in society for g**s. They are afraid, that their children will never have children, which is fine if they don't want any, but most of all, parents are afraid of seeing their babies grow up in fear. It is a change, something they don't understand. I will be honest, I hope my children can live happy lives and find love, and have children of their own, naturally. But hopefully parents can see past when their children are different, because at least they are being who they are. Parents have to see past the things they would change if they could, and appreciate and love their children. I think most do, but they still don't want a difficult life for their babies.

Answer 9

Interesting question.

Cultures have specific societal rules concerning the behavior of the people within the society.  In general homosexuality is considered socially inappropriate behavior.  Someone deliberately doing something that is contrary to standard societal norms is considered anti-social.

Most people have problems with those who engage in things that are considered socially unacceptable, infrequent bathing, offensive language, etc.

In addition cultures have developed specific socital bigotries such as only associating with or developing relationships with specific types of people such as those within your own race, religion or only with those of the opposite s*x.

Being "g*y" means that a person has reversed the societal bigotry and replaced it with a different bigotry, or preference if you will.  Instead of insisting that a mate be of the opposite s*x "g*y" people insist that they can only mate with people of their own s*x.  This replaces one "preference" or bigotry with another "preference" or bigotry.

Being "g*y" should not be confused with being in a homosexual relationship.  There are homosexuals who cast off societal bigotries and just fell in love with a person as opposed to a specifically preferred person.

Unfortunately for people in homosexual relationships there is no current societal differentiation between "g*y" and someone in a homosexual relationship.

Oh, and yes many people believe anyone who is in a homosexual relationship is going to h**l.  I disagree, but, I also think people who are "g*y" are just bigots while people who are in homosexual relationships with another person are breaking down societal walls.

Why is so much time spent on figuring out the material aspects of s*x when people should be dealing with spiritual aspects of love?

Answer 10

They envisioned a different life for their child.

They know it can be a difficult life - social pressures, possible health concerns, and yes issues regarding religious beliefs.

Right or wrong, that's how many people feel.

Basically, the exact same reasons some g*y folks use as evidence that homosexuality is genetic and they would never "choose" it.