Why is it so hard to be somebody?

Question

I'm 17. Lately, I've been having an identity crisis. I have no idea who I am or what I like. I refuse to jump on the scene/emo bandwagon like everyone else has. I basically dress in "normal" looking clothes, nothing outrageous that makes me stand out, because I'm shy. The only two things that I'm passionate about are Animal rights and Writing. As far as everything else goes, I'm indifferent. My question is, do I have to try to fit into some box or hop into that latest trends/cliques to have an idea of who I am? Those kids seem to think they have all of life figured out when it's obvious they have no idea who they are, but is it necessary in order to feel like you belong?

Answer 1

Everyone is experiencing identity crisis. What makes you different is that you can admit it, and try to find out a way. This proves u are an intelligent person from the start:P

What u see other people are doing is just a process of copying. Everyone is copying everyone else.

Every parent teaches his child just to copy. Not to be responsible and to choose his path. (Of course there are exceptions somewhere in the world:P)



So people act this way all their life, and they try and try to be happy in the same time.

What's sad is that they cannot be happy in this way. And they will have to pretend more and more. And unhappiness will grow with time exponentially.

Want to get near urself? To know urself more? To see ur self?

1. U are here and now. U are not in the past. U are not in the future. IF you want to know urself, u have to be aware of what is happening right now around you, and inside you.

2. If you love something, it reflects your nature / being / self almost totally. That's why u love that something.

3. If you like something, it reflects some part of your nature / being / self. Not all parts. But some parts.

4. If you don't like something, it reflects phewer parts of your nature, or it reflects some real part of you that you don't want to see.

5. If you feel something is utterly wrong or lets you indifferent, then it has nothing to do with your nature / being / self.

U have to experiment. See the outcome. In this way u start to know urself. What u are.

What to be happy?

Manifest urself exactly as u are. Spontaneously.

When I find a new real part of me through experience, I start to manifest it when it comes, without questioning. And after it, I see I was right. It was a real part, its manifestation let me happy.

This is happiness. Taste it.

What others don't want to analyze is the concept of happiness. They think they "know" how happiness is "obtained". Just because all people say and try the same stupidity around them.

If u try to fit a box, what matters what box it is? Would you like to stay in a golden cage and try to be happy?:P

When u let ur real parts to manifest when they like, u will feel at peace with urself, a sense of oneness with nature. Only then u are happy. And you cannot be happy if you are not manifesting yourself spontaneously.

And don't worry with thoughts like: "but what if my real self is to hurt people?"...These are out of question, because nature is not stupid and she doesn't want to hurt itself. You have a role. A constructive one. No role is destructive. Only ignorance is destructive.

The more u get near yourself, the more you attract beautiful things, persons, events that can reflect your nature. It is very beautiful and interesting.

Actually everyone attracts things to reflect their present state.

Hope this helps:)

Answer 2

I'm not sure if it's necessary but I often find myself in the same situation as you. I just float through life and then realise, wow this is me. My advice to you (and to myself) is to do some soul searching and listen to your thoughts.. And work out who you are. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I think everyone goes through what you are feeling, I know I certainly did, and I suppose sometimes still do.  Its great that you haven't jumped on the bandwagon that everyone else is doing because that means that you are YOU!  You are being unique in your own way.  OK so you wear 'normal' clothes but you are wearing what you want to wear and you are also not giving in to a popular fad that will no doubt become a thing of the past very soon.  

You are only 17, you have your whole life to figure out who you want to be, and that decision doesn't have to be set in stone either, you can chop and change.  Wear what you want to wear, listen to the music that YOU want to listen to, take an interest in things that appeal to you and basically make yourself happy.  You will look back on your life and be so content and happy knowing that you were always true to yourself.

Good luck and remember don't worry, this is normal.  Just chill out and always remember to laugh!  :)

Answer 4

It's hard to be somebody else because that person is not you. You

don't have to act like somebody else just to fit in with everybody

else. It's your lifestyle.

Answer 5

i think you are fine the way you are.

there's no need to become scene or anything else.

as for your interests, they're just fine. maybe add to these something else, like psychology? you seem to understand what goes on around you. and it will help you with your issues of self-esteem too.

Answer 6

omg u are like me

dont change though

u r unique even if u dont feel it. everyone being the same would be boring. and how they think they have their whole life planned out they probably dont. confidence makes wonders

thats what u need

goood luck and stay true to yourself

=D

Answer 7

I'm sure you know the answer, be yourself, the question really is how?  It's tough to be yourself when there is pressure to conform to the group but you can do it.  It's really about developing your own sense of self esteem and personal image, and becoming strong in yourself.

I have a website that has some tips and advice.

http://www.dream-life-coaching.com

it might be useful, if not there are some good links there.

good luck

Answer 8

hey, it´s good you don´t want or try to be like everybody else. When I was growing up I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and a lot of the time I wasn´t passionate about anything other than music. (Metal´s my scene) When I was 21 though, I was lucky enough to meet someone who took me on as his photography assistant. It´s taken a long time of not getting paid, going hungry, but I wouldn´t have it any other way now.

You don´t have to rush, you´re so young right now. I have a feeling that one day you will find something that means a huge amount to you, you just don´t know what it is right now and thats normal. Make sure you´re happy with your friends, and then spend the next few years trying new things. I went travelling and had no idea I would like learning different languages. I had no idea that I would find a project to do a photo essay on. These things ust happen. Take it easy and enjoy life. xx

Answer 9

At 17 I would be worried if you "had it all figured out". You only get to figure it out through growing older. Each day you learn a little more.

Animal rights is cool. Writing is realy cool - so creative. I write too. It's how I express myself, and I'm lucky enough to write for 4 magazines, every month. And that's just a spare time thing.. Writing is a rare gift that only a few have, so celebrate it and feel special 'cos you are.

Do a google on the word 'Desiderata'. It will bring you back a very old poem that starts "Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence...." and has one particular verse I really like:

'You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here - and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.'

I have it on my wall. I'm still finding out who I am, and I am 55 years old. The day I 'have it all figured out' will be the day such arrogance turns me into a complete bore, I will bore myslef to death, whcih will be a blessing for those around me.

Those who say they 'have it all figured out' have yet to meet Fate, and she doesn't give a stuff what we think.

Give yourself a break, buddy. Stop trying to live up to the expectations of others. You are who you are. Get comfortable with that. And don;t try to figure it all out.

One bloke says to his mate "I wish I knew where I was gonna die..." and his mate says 'Why?' and he says "Cos I'd make sure I never bloody go there".

Steve