Why is it so hard to end an affair?

Question

I am friends with married man. When I met him I thought he was great person. I just say him as someone to chat with and ask for advice about my problem. I loved spending time with because he gave me the attention that I never had from my father.

My father doesn't even bother to call me to see how I am doing and my mom passed away which I am still dealing with. So the married man gave me the attention that I was lacking in my life saw him as a father figure. Something happened and we began feeling attracted to each other. Which caused us to start getting physical. We haven’t had s*x yet but I went down on him and we kissed. I am feeling guilty about it and I have been thinking to end it before it goes any further. He is planning to visit me at my apartment sometime next week.

I really want to end it but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I love him.

So have you ever been in this situation before?

How did you end the affair?

Answer 1

I have never been in your situation.  A married man is a big no-no.  Here's my take on your situation:  You were looking for a father figure.  This man took advantage of that.  You can't have the contact you need with your father; this man is unavailable to you as well.  This is a psychologically twisted scenario.

I recommend ending the affair by stating that you feel horrible about the betrayal to his wife and need to be alone to forgive yourself for being such a bad person.  Perhaps he'll agree.  :-)

Answer 2

I actually have been in this situation before... the same type of thing going on... I didn't have "daddy" issues but I was looking for some attention from men to feel good about myself.  We did end up having s*x a couple of times and we saw each other for over a year.  I did regret having s*x with him, especially now, as I am getting married shortly.  I feel bad about it.  When I ended it, and I was the one who had to end it, I just told him that I could not speak with him anymore.  I had to get on with my own life and he was holding that up.  He accepted and attempted to contact me only a couple of times.  I know you think you love him, but... you'll only end up hurt the more it continues.  Don't let him come over.  End it and find another man who can commit to you like you deserve.

Answer 3

Open the door and keep on walking.  Don't look back.

Answer 4

are you mad u should end the affair bc its not fair on the wife and its not fair on u tell him that this can not happened.  u should go 2 see someone about the grive of ur mother and try 2 contact ur dad and try to heal the rife that u and ur dad bc i think he is still griveing after his wife so try to talk 2 him so take my advice and go and see ur dad

good luck