Why is it that adoptee <span title="activists.....................?">activists...................</span>

Question

are so self righteous and harrass people on here? I have read some answers from others that are looking to adopt and allI see is harassment. Calling people "jerk", "dork", "fcking ding dong", "you are going to h**l", I CAN GO ON AND ON! Why such rudeness and why so mean? If it is a point you are trying to make can't you do it without the anger? I can honestly say that even if these people that have been targeted TRIED to agree with you they would still be rejected simply because they are looking to adopt a child (in a way that you don't like). Can't we all just get along and share ideas maturely?

Answer 1

I&#039;m not an activist However, if you come on here soliciting for a baby, you deserve to get your head knocked.  If you are unbelievably stupid, you also deserve to get a lot of negatives--perhaps you will sit back and think...Hmmm...maybe my position is untenable?  The discussion is not about lawn furniture--it is about people and children with no rights.

Answer 2

You misrepresent several people and say &quot;I CAN GO ON AND ON&quot; yet you call for maturity.  As such, I really should ignore this &quot;question.&quot;

You are painting an awful lot of people with one rather broad brush.  I haven&#039;t called anyone names.  The only name-calling I have noticed is Florida Gal calling me a &quot;bad person&quot; and [someone] calling Gershom a &quot;b****.&quot;  I have seen a lot of self-righteousness here on the part of adopters and prospective adopters, too.  Please be clear on your facts before you make accusations and call for &quot;maturity.&quot;

Answer 3

OH yes, I wonder the same thing, adoptwithlove WHY did you call me a B****? Is it because I called you on your uneducated &quot;assumption&quot; of a child expressing &quot;RAD like characteristics?&quot;

Guess you must be one of the Really HURT ONES.

pfffft.

Answer 4

Really?  I have been coming here for months, and have never seen anyone called ANY name, including the ones you mention above.

Some of us lived through growing up adopted, and the damage from growing up without our biological families, pretending for the infertile adopters, and living with secrets &amp; lies while others discount your feelings, which has motivated us to try, by being here, and answering questions, to spare other children this pain.

If adoption HAS to happen, we want PAPs to at least be HIP to what you&#039;re entering into.  If you can&#039;t handle the FACT that your future child has a history that doesn&#039;t include YOU, and they will often feel sadness and loss that you can&#039;t cure with LOVE and &#039;good&#039; parenting--you shouldn&#039;t do it.  Period.

Because that IS reality for ALL adopted children.

Namecallers?  Why are you not reporting them?  The onus, is on you.

Answer 5

I agree.  Name calling is a sign of immaturity and ignorance.

From anyone.

The Mods at Yahoo! (whoever they are) do listen.  For instance, last night Gershom was called the b-word.  It was reported and the offensive comment disappeared.

Just report the name calling and it will  be stopped.

Answer 6

Activists?  do you mean Advocates?

I&#039;m not into name-calling myself and I am not an &#039;adoption hater&#039; which has been thrown my way for no apparent reason other than I am an adoptee advocate

I am hoping that folks here, adopters especially, are also adoptee advocates

Sometimes some of the things that get said is very painful for an adoptee to hear.  For example &quot;how can I get a baby cheap?&quot; etc etc and sometimes it just seems that adopters want a baby to fulfill THEIR lives and to create THEIR family or to use as a band aid for whatever problems they have in their lives.  Commodifying human lives hurts; especially when people are talking about people like you (the adoptee)

I hope you can understand what gets triggered and where the anger comes from.  If not I suggest some further reading to better understand the nature of adoptees better

I believe some reading has been suggested by adoptees already but those suggestions were probably ignored

Sigh.  How come we are so lovely and wonderful when we&#039;re cute and cuddly but people hate us so much when we speak how we feel towards adoption?

God Bless

and your point about hurting adoptees is???  Would you dismiss your own adoptee&#039;s feelings if they admit to hurting?

Nice.

Answer 7

I am not into name calling, or putting people down simply because of their views or beliefs.  

Name calling is just simply immature, no matter what the sitation, no matter what the topic.  

I would never call someone a &#039;ding dong&#039; because they want to adopt a child.  

However, as an adoptee, I will often put in my two cents.  Not to put others down, thats just not me.  But to let people know some of the issues related to adoption.  

I myself to not condone name calling or just being downright nasty.  The harrasment at times can get out of hand.  However, I am sorry, but I am not going to condone someone coming onto yahoo answers wondering why it is so expensive to adopt a child, why it takes so long.  Or questions like why their adopted child just wont be what they want them to be!  

As adoptee advocates, I believe a great many of us are here to help PAPs and APs and even just those with an intrest in adoption some of the more negative sides of adoption.  

The rudeness does need to stop, but this also goes for those who are on here advocating FOR adoption.  Those people can be very rude to the adoptees as well.  Which I must say, as an adoptee, is very, very triggering.  

We have been told our whole lives to sit back, be quiet and accept what we got.  

I believe a great many of my other advocates are just trying to help, trying to put perspective on something that from the outside can seem like such a wonderful thing. But on the inside can be so very hurtfull.

Answer 8

Be careful.. I saw a post like this last week and they reported it within minutes. Also don&#039;t waste your breath your not the first to ask this question or to wonder why they are not helping those of us wanting to adopt.

Answer 9

SIMPLY PUT

Hurt people like to hurt people.....

Gershom:  it wasnt me who called you a b****.  Although I do agree, I would have to give the credit to my hubby.  I&#039;ll be sure to ask my hubby if he is hurt, but I am gonna guess that he is just sick of reading your insults about his wife...............

How presumptuous that I am uneducated..........LOL (adopt1baby, I am guessing this is what you are talking about.............just harassing/insulting comments over and over again)

Answer 10

I don&#039;t harass or call people names.  All I do is educate about adoption and the lack of adoptee rights.  I don&#039;t see where they have agreed with us.  They are the ones calling us names.  Look at what Adoptwithlove.com has done to Gershom.  She used foul language not anyone else.  

I am not against adoption but I am against unethical adoptions.  Adoptees, adoptive parents and natural parents are all being forced through hoops that the adoption industry has put upon us.  They demand that we use their terminology.  They want you to use their services.  Their services include unethical practices.  Just look at Guatemala.  We just want you to seriously think outside the box.